All about lesbian

I Love to Masturbate

2010-03-23T02:37:00.000+02:00

I love to masturbate. Sometimes I like it more than sexual contact with a woman. It’s private. I get to think about anyone and look at thousands of pictures either on the Internet or in my files on the computer. I’m usually a daily masturbator. Sometimes twice but most of the time once a day. It used to be much more chronic. I guess that I’m getting older.

I like to look at various photos and watch a variety of videos when I jerk off. A lot of the stuff I post on my blog here. I love pictures of girls and shemales in pantyhose. I love women’s feet especially in pantyhose, footjobs, handjobs, sneakers and CFNM (clothed female, nude male). I love Asian, Indian, Hispanic and white women. Sometimes I like jerking off to pics of girls I know or women on MySpace, facebook and other networking sites. I can get off just looking at their faces.

A lot of times I’ll open up multiple tabs on my browser with pics that turn me on and jerk off looking at all of them. Other times I’ll take a bunch of the pics that I have downloaded and create a slideshow and jerk off until I cum. Once in a while I become fixated looking at one particular photo and just jerk off looking at that pic until I cum.

I also jerk off using my “spank bank”. It take the images I’ve stored in my head of women I’ve seen through out the day or sexual experiences that I’ve had and think about that until while I stroke my cock until I cum.

These are the things I masturbate to. I think I’m going to go jerk off now. Maybe I’ll be looking at pics of you.

[Via http://callmemr.wordpress.com]

Exchanging religious opinions with respect

2010-03-21T18:23:00.000+02:00

A common lament in believer – non-believer discussions is believers demanding respect for their beliefs or the sincerity of it and sometimes for themselves.

Non-believers, free-thinkers and atheists don’t seem to be as hung up on respect as believers are. Kinda like believers are way more obsessed with gay sex than gay people.

I think that this demand for respect stems from their authority fetish. The world view that believers tend to have is a rigid framework with a clear hierarchy of authority: god to to their religious leader, down through the priesthood ranks and finally to the laypeople. People who believe in a personal god, I suppose include some sort of hot-line that bypasses the other people between them and their god.

Many of the rules in religions are focused on submitting to various levels of higher authority – often starting with the parents to the religion’s priesthood ranks to god.

In Christianity, about half of the commandments are authority worship. And the purpose of authority worship is controlling people.

So, that makes it curious to me why anyone thinks that this is the basis for a moral code at all -which is a whole other blog – since there’s nothing about evaluating the authority for worthiness and no restrictions on the behaviour of said authority.

So it’s also curious – and a future blog on belief and hypocrisy – that so many of the isolationist and anti-government groups are right wing believers. So, they are failing the commandment idea that they hold most important.

So, when believers demand respect, they are really asking for submission. Unconditional at that.

Respect is earned, not bestowed.

Believers do not earn respect when they sincerely believe the atheist is going to hell, when they outright lie and misconstrue or are plain ill-informed about science concepts.

ID/Creationist Believers also insist on excessive proof – based on their misunderstanding science no less – to accept even basic science terminology and expecting to not have to provide any at all for their religious claims. They also fall into the trap of if science can’t prove something 100%, then all science must be wrong adn religion wins by default.

But that is a false choice and science is never about 100% certainty. It’s best conclusion given the information we have. When new information becomes available, it’s peer reviewed and the conclusion is revised.

So, it’s pretty funny that believers cannot handle ambiguity and change, yet they base their absolutist and certainty on religion, which has no evidence or proof and is entirely based on subjective feelings and personal preference reinforced by confirmation bias.

Believers also like to paint atheists as rude – as if this was the worst thing a person could be and pointing out that being rude is hardly on par with suicide bombers and shooting abortion doctors on the badness scale…. well, they don’t generally have a response for that.

The idea of respect in a conversion in which the believer is misrepresenting scientific concepts, dismissing religious people caught in controversies as “not real ones”, does not understand logic or debate rules as evidenced by the “You haven’t changed my mind, so I won” attitude and who sincerely believes that the atheist is going to an unpleasant afterlife – and enjoys that “fact”.

How can you respect any of that or the person spouting it?

How can the person spouting that party line of disrespect, who offers no respect for the conversation and the opposing participants, honestly expect to be respected?

I respect the right to opinions and expression of same. But that’s a blanket respect for rights, not people or their particular beliefs.

I also hold myself to the standard of having to earn respect for myself and my beliefs. If I can’t, by my conduct earn it or by my logic earn it for my belief, then I don’t have your respect.

And that’s okay with me, because my beliefs are not dependent on other people’s respect or acceptance.

We all have the same information or access to information. That we all draw different conclusions from that is what makes the world an interesting place.

Until someone insists that theirs is the only correct conclusion and worse, that it should be self evident to all expect the childish and immoral people like atheists, free thinkers, non-heterosexuals and really, even believers in other faiths or in other versions of their own faith.

And really, who is being the child in that situation?

_____

It’s also funny to me that the expression “With all due respect” is usually used to indicate that no respect is owed or forthcoming.

[Via http://ntrygg.wordpress.com]

Generally, I don't contemplate murder...

2010-03-21T02:45:00.000+02:00

…but if my friend’s ex does stop spewing lies about her, I’m going to gut that bitch with a plastic spoon.

(Deep breath) Okay. Now that I’ve got that bit of violence out of my system, the story:

One of my good friends, Bell, is a lesbian and, quite honestly, very fussy and demanding. However, she is a decent person, wonderfully intellegent, and a loyal friend. She started dating this girl who, again quite honestly, was far too needy to be compatible with her. Which was mentioned to Bell on several occasions. But Bell really cared for this girl, needy and energy-draining qualities and all, and so myself and her other friends kept quiet. Well, mostly.

The relationship was pretty rocky, to say the least. Though, in all fairness, they both did put in a great deal of effort to make things work. The Girl did her best to be not demanding. Bell did her best to be more sensitive to The Girl’s needs. But things went south, fast. The Girl, literally, was draining the life out of Bell. My friend was reduced to tears some nights because she just couldn’t handle the massive guilt trip that The Girl employed. The Girl, I found out from some mutual friends, was in similar states due to Bell’s inability to drop whatever she was doing to attend to The Girl’s needs.

All friends involved in the drama advised our respective parties to end it.

Bell, eventually, put her foot down and did.

Chaos and tears flowed.

Now, about three weeks later, The Girl has started her own blog. The headline story? The debut post? About how “that bitch” had messed her up so bad, treated her awfully. She accused my friend of being emotionally abusive when I know (and everyone who has ever met Bell knows) that isn’t true. Bell did her best to make due with the problems a girl she cared about a great deal had. The fact that The Girl doesn’t appreciate this–Hell, the fact that she doesn’t even recognize this–is what angers me most. And the fact that she’s spreading these lies about her where anyone can read them… Well, yeah, that angers me too.

I don’t consider myself particularly violent. However, I’m protective of my friends. There’s is very little I wouldn’t do for them.

Wondering If I Should Invest In A Sharpener For My Sword,

~Strawberry Wine

[Via http://strawberry20.wordpress.com]

Lesbians are not real women, but are gay men real men?

2010-03-20T18:56:00.000+02:00

I had a discussion with a young gentleman yesterday about a class we are in together. Specifically, we discussed an article by Wittig that argues that lesbians are not real women and that all women should become lesbians to remove the class distinction between men and women. Honestly, the details of that article are irrelevant to what is on my mind, but if you’re really curious about the article, let me know.

Anyway. So, I mentioned to him that I agree that lesbians are not women. Womanhood is a social construct and only in relation to men, so females who do not relate themselves to men are not women. During the conversation, the gentleman I was speaking with mentioned that it follows that gay men are not real men either.

At first, I agreed quickly. If lesbians are not women, gays are not men. However, I’ve been thinking about and I am unsure if that is a fair conclusion. Man is the absolute, the subject. Man is what is and woman is what is not. If man is the absolute, what makes one a man?

I have been so focused on what makes a one a woman that I seem to have entirely missed the question of what makes one a man. Since having a uterus does not make a woman, does it still follow that having a phallus does not make one a man? I imagine that it would be the embodiment of those male traits that women so aptly lack that makes one a man. But even this has its flaws given the assumption that man is the absolute. So which man? As man is the absolute, man is without flaw, does the actual nature of an individual man truly have anything to do with anything? While I have contended that manhood and womanhood are both social constructs rather than something biological and concrete, I have only argued for the sake of females as representing the “other”, the “negative”, and the “has not”. So then, what defines the “subject”, the positive”, and the “has”? Does the rule of lesbians being not women as they are not related to men follow that gays are not men as they do not relate to women? That seems to fail logically. Something that is positive is still positive whether a negative is presented or not. A hill is a hill even if there is no hole present. Perhaps that was a bad analogy. Moving on.

If men are both positive and neutral, and women are negative, then men do not require the identification of women to still be men. However, you cannot have a negative without the relation of a positive or neutral.

I pose that perhaps lesbians are not women as they are not related to the positive nature of men, this does not automatically mean that gay men are not men as a man does not need a woman to be a man. A woman, however, needs a man to be a real woman.

Every now and then I read something I’ve written and am shocked to find things that some would consider so against the female sex.

[Via http://bbrakhage.wordpress.com]

Ellen Degeneres Gives $30K To Denied Lesbian.

2010-03-20T10:30:00.000+02:00

A lesbian high school student embroiled in a legal flap over her school’s prom policy has received a $30,000 scholarship on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

Constance McMillen was speechless Friday when the talk show host pulled out an oversized check from the Web site Tonic.Com, a digital media company.

DeGeneres says she admires McMillen for challenging Itawamba County School District rules that would prevent her from escorting her girlfriend to the prom. The school district canceled the April 2 prom after McMillen’s request.

A hearing is scheduled Monday in federal court in Aberdeen on American Civil Liberties Union efforts to force the district to hold the prom.

-”The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.

[Via http://heavenhollywood.wordpress.com]

Catholics Run Amok

2010-03-18T02:48:00.000+02:00

First, a catholic parochial school kicked out two kids for having lesbian parents, then there was the gay prostitution ring involving Vatican ushers and of course the fact that the Pope himself is implicated in covering for a pedophile while he was Archbishop in Germany. I’m not sure whether to cry, laugh or be outraged. Perhaps I’ll be all three and let Jon Stewart handle the commentary.

[Via http://queermerced.com]

lacey and jessica talk about unrequited lesbian love

2010-03-16T18:44:00.000+02:00

Lacey Stone and Jessica Clark over on Sweat City, in their “Lesbian Love” video segment, have some advice about straight girl crushes and unrequited love:

LL 119 Straight-Girl Crushes from lacey stone on Vimeo.

Thoughts…

This was (and is) the story of my life, pretty much: I don’t haunt lesbian bars or parties (largely because I’m apprehensive about the prospect of dating someone who may be a heavy drinker) and so I end up crushing a lot (a lot, a lot a lot a lot) on women I encounter in everyday life, who are usually straight. Trying this approach worked very, very well for me for my first serious crush on a woman (or, to be honest, on most anyone), and has failed me systematically every time since, but that hasn’t stopped hope from springing eternal, and me from believing that somehow it’s “purer” or “better” to seek out queer women amongst the straight hordes. And at this point I’m so used to being shot down by straight women, and having queer women not be interested in me, that I’m pretty down on my chances. Lacey and Jessica address how it’s not, ultimately, productive to get emotionally tangled up with straight women (though, yes, it’s fun).

They make the point that it’s safe, too, “for both parties”, one I don’t really understand. Sure, it’s safe for me–I don’t have to deal with serious rejection (except for when they insist for weeks that they’re actually bi before it turns out they’re either fooling themselves or doing it to attract a boy–oh my, Tip, bitter much?). But how is it safe for the straight woman? One of my greatest fears is that I come off as somehow predatory (especially in the wake of my very bad relationship); I sit by and yearn, and don’t want to come off as manipulative or stalker-ly while I’m doing so, because women are, due to gender roles and societal expectations, in a vulnerable position. They/we are taught to fear crushes that don’t go away, or people who are a little too obsessive in their devotion. How is it different when it comes from a woman than when it comes from a man? (“Don’t judge yourself,” they say in the video, without explaining too much about what they mean–maybe this is it.)

They also discuss “sucking it up and telling them”, which, to be honest–and this might be a sign of my immense immaturity–I’ve never found to be a productive pursuit. Never mind the stigma that queerness still carries (and how subconscious stigma can be abruptly brought to the forefront when the person with the stigma is the crush object!)–the incredible (perceived?) awkwardness that ensues tends to be so overpowering that I feel compelled to all-but break off the “let’s just be friends” deal that follows, in a very definite version of the “distance” and “cord-cutting” that they mention in the video. I’ve lost more than a few friends by telling them I love them. At this point I’m not interested in losing more.

At this point, too–after so very long of trying to woo straight women, with no success!–I’ve found myself feeling increasingly pathetic and desperate. Any relationship–even dysfunctional ones with men–feels nice, simply because it fills a need and makes me feel loved. And every woman I crush on, ever, who seems to show the slightest bit of interest, ends up feeling like the last woman in the world.

It’s not a functional, happy, sane model. But Lacey and Jessica have some advice on fixing it.

Also: Lacey and Jessica’s wedding pic at the top of that link is adorable, and worth the click in and of itself.

[Via http://queeritself.wordpress.com]

Neal B gets GLAAD - The GLAAD Media Awards 2010 NYC

2010-03-16T02:10:00.000+02:00

ArtofTalk.TV sent me and Elisa to cover the FANTASTIC GLAAD Media Awards in New York City! The GLAAD Media Awards recognize and honor media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations in the LGBTQ community.

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO ELISA S. for editing this FANTASTIC VIDEOS!!

The ArtofTalk.tv Crew

[Via http://nealbinnyc.wordpress.com]

Follow the Law or Cancel the Prom?

2010-03-11T18:27:00.000+02:00

Sadly, a northern Mississippi school district elected to cancel its junior/senior prom instead of following what is pretty well-set law.

Constance McMillan, a senior in the Itawamba school district did everything right in terms of approaching school officials first to discuss the issue. She was told “no” in several ways: she and her girlfriend couldn’t show up together, she couldn’t wear a tuxedo, and if she and her girlfriend made anyone uncomfortable, they would be asked to leave. The ACLU got involved, and rather than deal with a change in policy or a lawsuit, the school district up and canceled the prom, encouraging private citizens to hold events for the classes missing their big night.

The saddest thing about this is that instead of doing the right thing and letting her go to the prom, the school district has now demonized a child in the eyes of many of her classmates. When they don’t have a prom, they’re gonna remember that “the uppity dyke” was the reason. While the school won’t confirm this (d’uh), it has cited a disruption in the “educational process” as the reason for the cancellation. And now Candace has to go to school every day until graduation knowing that a good number of her classmates blame her for no other reason than she wanted to enjoy her high school prom as herself, not as someone she wasn’t.

[Via http://daveybones.wordpress.com]

What does "Woman-Identified Sustainable Development" mean?

2010-03-09T18:11:00.000+02:00

First, let’s take it apart:

What does “Woman-Identified” mean? I notice this distinction a lot when conversing with my 7-year old GrandDaughter. Because she is being raised in this, until recently, patriarchal world, her perception is most often male-identified. She sees all trees, puppies, plants, etc., initially as a “he.” In her experience, I am just the opposite. She says to me, “Grama, why is everything a She to you?” I answer her to say that it is because I am a womon, I have Daughters, I am a Daughter. I am most familiar with the world through a girl’s eyes. I image the world according to my female focus or world view.

My GrandDaughter, on the other hand, has not had the benefit of a lesbian lifestyle, as I have. I am a poet and I love wordplay. In my poetic mind, I am seeing little difference between the words Lesbian and Feminism. They are both, in practice and in deed, woman-identified or woman-focused. They are the closest thing to spiritual Truth that I have found in my lifetime. In fact, the definition of Feminism could be woman-identified solutions to world problems.

A poetic definition of Feminism which found its way into one of my poems a couple of years ago is, “The live and unfolding wholeness of divine human spirit.” This inspired definition includes both sexes, which I like because Feminism surely benefits men as well as women. Feminism gives all of us the benefit of an acknowledged common experience — whatever has happened to any one of us has surely happened to another person or many other persons, and that violations to our person have their roots in societal and cultural norms. Feminism also gives us all permission to be who we truly are without culturally defined roles to mutate or imprison us. I am a feminine woman who is independent, strong, becoming more muscled every day, and loves to sew, cook and take care of my “babies.” Myself being quite post menopausal, my babies are now adults — as well as the creative projects I birth, like designing websites, one of which I have created this blog for.

To continue,

What does “Sustainable Development” mean? The explanation I like to share is that sustainable development is what Peoples indigenous to the Americas call their spiritual way of life: “Taking the next Seven Generations into consideration in all that we do.” This is how they lived sustainably upon this continent for millennia longer than anyone has bothered to dig down deep to find evidence of. This is how we all lived upon this entire earth for millennia.

When I was volunteering as a liaison between Native Peoples and environment and development Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) in the mid to late 1980’s, I came across a United Nations Environment Programme and its document named “Man and the Biosphere.” As I read over this well-meaning document, indeed the best that man could come up with at that time, I became entirely aware of how men were proposing to save the Earth by designing strategies that benefited men, not Mother Earth. Coming from a female, and vicariously, an indigenous perspective, it was not too difficult to discover this with much clarity. At that time, both women and indigenous Peoples had been left out of development discussions. And at that same time, we were both being invited into the talks. Hence, my invitation to participate. I remember one afternoon at an international gathering in Costa Rica, feeling overwhelmed with sadness at the realization of how these mostly male scientists sitting around the large circular table had divided up the world so severely that they were never going to see the wholeness of Her body Earth.

The Man and the Biosphere (MAB) logo at that time illustrates their patriarchal, or power over, understanding of how the world works very well. When I approached a Native American elder with the MAB document, he actually jumped back in his chair just seeing the symbology: three pyramids, one atop the other, inside a circle. It took me some talking to get him to investigate the document further to discover what I had found: The cause of indigenous Peoples’ human rights violations had their root in resource exploitation. And, that inside this document, and inside these NGOs, indigenous Peoples could find allies and strategies to support their previous 13 years work at the U.N. Human Rights Commission.

The world and Indigenous Peoples have made some progress with regard to environmental racism, sovereignty and treaty rights. Indigenous Peoples have become integral to U.N. environment and development strategies. What these NGOs knew that this indigenous leader and I were both just coming to see the full circle of, was that women and indigenous peoples were being invited at the same time for the same reason: to bring sustainable solutions to environment and development problems that the world’s scientists could not solve. In deed, we women and an indigenous world view bring the same thing: an earth/woman-centered viewpoint from which to begin every act. This woman-centered, or woman-identified as I like to call it, worldview, is how the world works, how nature and the biosphere proceed and interact with all that is. And it is how we, humankind, are learning to go forward, sustainably: In respect of Mother Nature, Mother Earth — and each other.

At that time, in the 1980’s, the word “sustainable” was very new to the U.N. I remember a man from UNEP (U.N. Environment Programme) coming into our discussions and saying that he did not know what we meant by “sustainable.” To me it was simple, it is the way we lived in peace through millennia, and before patriarchy. It was how Goddess/woman-centered cultures lived everywhere on Earth, with no signs of war found anywhere in any archeological evidence older than 3,000 BCE.

I guess I could say that “woman-identified” and “sustainable development” mean the same thing, except that I do not want to leave out the important role that traditional indigenous Peoples bring to the table. I use the word traditional to mean Earth-centered, based on a culture older than 3,000 BCE. Indigenous Peoples have their own struggle with members of their Nations who identify with the corporate and government (tribal government and U.S. government) entities that exploit them. Not all native people are traditional, and not all women are woman-identified. But, we are all beginning to see the connectedness and divine quality of our lives here on this amazing planet Mother Earth.

Bee well, Alethia

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…

[Via http://greenwomyntrade.wordpress.com]

Meeting new people

2010-03-09T10:35:00.000+02:00

On my first day at work I looked at my impossibly camp, impeccibly dressed colleague; I swallowed my fear and asked, “Are you gay?”

He laughed, “Yes, sweetie. What gave me away?”

Two days later I sat at a hotel bar, with a whisky on the rocks and a book, waiting for a meeting to start.

“That’s not very social,” My boss said as he sat down beside me. He was an imposing man, tall and strong, smartly dressed.

“I’m sorry,” I stammered, “I-I just don’t know anyone.”

“Why did you leave your country?” I noticed his African accent.

To get away from judgement, from my parents, from the old me, I said.

“Me too,” he took a sip of my whisky without asking and walked off, calling us into the meeting room.

[Via http://biggaycloset.com]

Two Teen Lesbian Girls in Pantyhose Pics

2010-03-07T10:22:00.000+02:00

[Via http://callmemr.wordpress.com]

Lesson 1: How not to have a threesome

2010-03-06T18:29:00.000+02:00

Go on, peruse. Don’t be shy now! Ah. Her. You like her do you? Yes, she’s pretty. Okay now don’t stumble over that broken table, you know what you’re like after a few gins. Oh god and what-ever you do don’t stumble AND throw the drink, you don’t want a repeat of last time. Huh? No. That’s right.

Yes, that’s right walk over. You are a 2010 Fonze. Go on. Swagger. Yes, just like that. Perfect. You totes look like that hot chick everyone loves from that show. Yeah, you know the one that started that whole t-shirt craze “***** is my homegirl”. So lame right? Slame. Okay god don’t use that amalgam when you talk to her. Jesus. Oh shit. Wait you’re here already. Bugger. okay.

“Hi. Do you want to have a dance off to Mos Def or go for a cigarette with me? Yeah it’s SLAME you have to go to the designated ’smoking’ room in this house”

“…….”

——–Ten Minutes later ———

You looser, the one word I ask you NOT to use…. Thank god you have a good smile, that gin chat was rubbish. No, you’re right, it was like eating rubbish. Weldone [my name]. Yes, you can pat yourself on the back, maybe Not while you’re kissing her. Stop thinking, just enjoy the kiss. Oh god. Yes. That’s a nice tongue she’s got there. Okay, okay her hand is wondering, this is a good sign right? Oh fuck, you haven’t shaved. Why are you still wearing this fucking stupid rudeboy-come-east-London-cap. You look like a Shoreditch twat. Twat. Okay. Bye Bye London.

Yup, hello: ‘crotch alert, crotch alert!’. You’re on fire tonight. Rabbid with urges, calm down… she’ll think you’re a teenage boy. Shit, do you think she thinks that already?

————- tequila, more gin and some wine minutes later —————-

Oh yeah, what happened to that girl? This boy was engaging you with Philosophy. At a party. Well, okay you engaged him with rage. Stupid stupidhead. Pretentious babble.

Ooo, Hello. Yes her! She’s really nice. Yeah, you always knew I liked the blonds at drunk o’clock. You know me so well. Okay, let’s chat……

“blah blah blah drunky drunk”

“blah blah?”

“blah”

Yes, she is SO moving in for the kiss. Oooo yes. Now this one IS good. Pretty and smart. Didn’t she say she was studying medicine? Great, she can fix me later. Oh god, do you think she’ll fucking tell me to stop smoking? Bitch. Calm down, you’re drunk, just keep kissing.

“FUCK”

First girl has been watching the whole time.

Okay, second girl is clearly guilt-ridden. Bugger. Look at that face, I think she’s about to cry. You are such a dick. You know the rule. NEVER IN THE SAME ROOM. Okay, right you have to fix this. Oh where do you think you’re going? Don’t get up from the sofa. What the fuck are you doing? YOU’RE GOING TO TALK TO HER? Are you crazy? You’re crazy, I don’t know why I hangout with you. Fine. But this is your mess, you can clearn it up.

“Come over here, come sit down”

Well of course she’s going to be reluctant.

Are you God? She’s actually following you! I am taking a page out from your lady bible. Yeah maybe later, I’m too drunk now. Okay.

So what’s the game plan? Well they’re both here on the sofa with you now. What? No. No!

———————inane drunk chat——————

second girl leaves. Yes, you are a twat. She’s gone now. No threesome with you. And first girl? Yeah I think she’s going to punch you. Or slap? She looks like a slapper.

——————–some alcoholic beverage later———-

cupboard sex. Really? You’re 23. In fact 24 in less than a month.

You arsehole.

[Via http://getlan.wordpress.com]

Is the film Precious racist? Parsing Ishmael Reed's 'argument'

2010-03-06T02:14:00.000+02:00

CAUTION: This post will contain spoilers about the film Precious.

There is a ‘controversy’ over whether or not the Oscar-nominated film Precious (based on the novel Push written by Sapphire) is racist. I place the word controversy in quotation marks because I’m not entirely convinced it is a true controversy; I think it’s more of an overblown media contrivance. A couple of people wrote a couple of articles accusing the movie of being racist, and these articles then got repeated and appropriated and regurgitated in several different media (including blogs).

The other morning I tuned in to the CBC Radio 1 show Q hosted by Jian Ghomeshi. At the top of the show he hosted a debate between the writer of one of these articles, Ishmael Reed, and Cameron Bailey, a writer and the programmer of the Toronto International Film Festival. It should be said, because it’s an important nugget, that both of these men are black. (I’ll use the terms black and white, adopting Ishmael Reed’s usage.) Also, most of the actors in Precious, the director and main producer of the film, the author of the novel it is based on, and many of the film’s financiers are black.

I’m actually not writing this to weigh in heavily on whether or not the movie is racist. I’m more interested in the phenomenon of creating false ‘both-sides’ dichotomies. There is an effort in the media to appear fair and balanced (no evocation of Fox ‘News’ intended) by finding someone to argue ‘the other side’ of an issue that does not rightly have another side. For example, when celebrating the anniversary of the Apollo missions and the moon landing, it’s not necessary to balance out an interview with NASA scientists by hosting a conspiracy theorist who claims the moon landings were a hoax.

Furthermore—and this is the nut—if you are going to report on (or create!) a controversy, then have enough integrity to vet your guests.

Jian Ghomeshi and/or his producers at Q decided to have on one of the two men who created all the ballyhoo over Precious, Ishmael Reed, presumably without checking to see if maybe he’s a bit…eccentric. (Really I wanted to write nutjob-crazy-ass-freakazoid-hate-filled-bigot, but I’m trying to be polite and at least give this guy the benefit of the doubt. For now.)

If you read Reed’s screed (ha!) on Counterpunch, you’ll have little doubt that this man, far from being a balanced individual with apt intellectual opinions, is clearly a bigot. He comes off as a racist (he doesn’t like white people or black people who aren’t the right kind of black), a sexist and misogynist (he displays great disdain and disrespect for women), and a homophobe (he is baffled that a gay character could be presented positively). Also, I don’t know if there is a term for this (sizeist?), but he also seems to dislike obese people. Oh, and he questions the veracity of incest/rape victims, is a conspiracy theorist, seems to be a prude (expressing disdain for the prurience of thongs), is a bad writer, and is just a plain old bad arguer (he throws up mountains of non-evidence having nothing to do with his premise and often employs logical fallacies, his favourites being ad hominem and straw-man attacks).

These are heavy claims I’m making. Racist, misogynist, homophobe, conspiracy theorist. They are of course my opinion based on his words. But let’s take a look at the evidence and you can decide for yourself. I’m going to parse Reed’s screed:

“Seeing that no one had supplied women with panties that were meant to be visible while wearing low cut jeans, [Sarah Siegel] captured the niche and made a fortune. With five million dollars, she invested in the film Precious….”

This displays the aforementioned disdain for the prurience of thongs, and also the fact that Reed is a horrible arguer. How the hell does the fact that an investor made her fortune by selling underwear prove that the movie Precious is racist?

He also goes after Sapphire (choosing to out her real name, showing disrespect for her choice to have a pen name):

“…she joined in on the lynching of five black and Hispanic boys…. She made money, and became famous. They were innocent!)”

This is a completely separate issue from the movie, but Reed seems to enjoy using ad-hominem and straw-man attacks. This particular personal attack seems to be setting up the argument that because Sapphire wrote a poem about a case in which five men confessed to and were convicted of brutally beating and raping a woman in Central Park—men who later recanted their confessions and turned out to be not guilty—she is a bad person and a racist and that her book and the movie based on it are also bad and racist. I suppose that’s his not-entirely-logical argument.

A case analogous to the West Memphis Three, this is an excellent argument for tidying up the justice system and against the death penalty (there was no “lynching,” by the way—this is just a term Reed misleadingly employs). What it’s not is in any way related to the movie Precious, the book Push, or the supposed premise of Reed’s article.

(For those interested here’s a synopsis of the Central Park Jogger case Reed refers to.)

Okay, back to the Reed screed:

“Precious, about a pregnant 350 pound illiterate black teenager….”

Keep in mind this first mention of Precious’s weight—it’ll come up again. And again. And again.

“…the image of the black male as sexual predator has created a profit center for over one hundred years….”

I won’t argue that there is a problem in society with the demonization of black men (and non-whites in general), but I will argue that this movie is not about Precious’s father, who rapes her at least twice and impregnates her twice. The father is not a character. He’s not meant to be. He is not given a back story or even a face. He is symbolic. He is symbolic of a sad and true fact of life—that men abuse, rape, and oppress women with shocking and alarming regularity.

“But politicians, the KKK, Nazis, film, television, etc, had done the black male as a rapist to death.”

Okay, I understand this feeling—I really do. I’m queer and I could happily go the rest of my life without seeing another movie in which the gay character has to commit suicide, or be killed, or kill someone in the end. But if we strip away the colour, it is again a sad and true fact that men rape and abuse women with shocking and alarming regularity. It’s not limited to race. I don’t know how proportionate the representation of white versus black men as rapists is to the actual numbers of white and black men in the world. It likely is disproportionate.

However, this is a story about an uneducated girl living in the poorest of poor environments. This is a movie about poverty and what it does to people. And like it or not, the poorest people in most North American cultures are often black, aboriginal, Hispanic—in other words, non-white. Why is that? That is the real question.

“… which they saw as selling a black film to white audiences (the people to whom CNN and MSNBC are referring to [sic] when they invoke the phrase ‘The American People.’)”

Ummm…where’s the evidence for that? Do you have proof that CNN and MSNBC mean ‘whiteys’ when they refer to ‘The American People’? If you state something as fact, you’ve got to have proof. If you don’t have proof, then you have to qualify your statement as opinion.

“Three standing ovations… at Sundance convinced some of the business people that although white audiences might decline to support films that show cerebral blacks [such as] The Great Debaters…they would probably enjoy a film in which blacks were shown as incestors and pedophiles.”

While I do know that “incestors” is not a word, I do not know the intricate political, social, and psychological reasons that someone would choose to see Precious and not The Great Debaters. I know that the financial success of movies rides on promotion and hype—how much money is put into promoting them. I don’t think I saw a single preview or commercial for The Great Debaters, but I saw many for Precious. This doesn’t answer the question of why a studio would put money behind one movie and not another, but that’s a question for the studio heads I believe.

Here I will point out that Reed obsessively attacks Oprah Winfrey throughout his screed, who (along with Tyler Perry and others) is a financial backer of Precious. While Reed seems to indicate that Winfrey’s financial backing of the movie makes her an evil tool of white power, he says nothing of her also producing The Great Debaters. I guess that’s inconvenient to Reed’s chosen paradigm.

“…when Lionsgate’s co-presidents for theatrical marketing…said of Precious, ‘There is simply a gold mine of opportunity here,’ they were on the money. In an interview [Geoffrey Gilmore, director of the Sundance Film Festival] said that [Precious] might hit ‘a cultural chord’ because of all of the discussion about race prompted by the election of President Obama.”

Well, yeah. Sorry, dude, but welcome to the world of business and marketing. That’s it! It’s all about cynicism, manipulation, chasing the dollar, and using any political means necessary to rake in more and more of these dollars. I don’t particularly like that seedy world, but that’s what happens for every movie; it’s not some grand racist conspiracy—it’s business. The same thing happens whether a phone company tries to sell you a plan, a record label tries to sell you an artist, or Coca-Cola tries to sell you a Coke.

Reed doesn’t seem to have a firm hold on exactly what he’s arguing. Does he think the people who made the movie (black people) are racist? Does he think the people who financially backed the movie (some black, some white) are racist? Or does he just hate business and marketing? I’d be behind Reed if he were arguing that the money-grubbing politicking of marketing is icky. But that’s not his contention. He contends that the movie is racist, yet he keeps coughing up as ‘proof’ things such as the fact that the film had a marketing strategy.

Reed goes on to say that after learning about this marketing plan he wanted Sarah Siegel to change the name of her panty company from So Low to How Low. This is the second reference to the fact that one of the investors in the movie made her fortune from selling low-rise underwear. It’s also worth noting that Reed refers to Siegel as “Sarah” every time he mentions her, which is a clear if subtle indication of disrespect. The journalistic tendency is to refer to people by their last name in articles.

I have many favourite parts of Reed’s screed, but this is definitely among them—an entire paragraph describing Siegel’s appearance:

“…a manicured, buffed Sarah, who doesn’t go lightly on the eye shadow, looks better [than some right-wing, racist wingnuts Reed compares her to]. She is salmon colored and though middle-aged wears baby doll clothes and if you Google her name, Sarah Siegel, along with ‘images’ you’ll find her posing in photos some of which have blacks smooching her [sic].”

Really, need I say anything in response to this? It pretty much speaks for itself.

Okay, just one thing!

‘I would like to propose that the movie Precious is racist. My proof is that one of the financial backers of the film wears eye shadow and baby-doll clothes (whatever that means) and has even been photographed being “smooched” by black people. I rest my case.’

“Sarah Siegel has joined an innovative marketing plan that couples Obama’s name with the most extreme of sexual crimes.”

Whatthefuck? Somehow now Siegel, an investor in the movie, is being credited with creating the film’s marketing plan, and this marketing plan couples Barack Obama with rape?!?! Reed is the original Superman leaping tall buildings in a single bound! The leap he makes here is not only a complete trouncing of logic, but I’d go as far as saying that it’s potentially libelous.

Reed quotes Armond White, the other guy whose article arguing that Precious is racist has been bandied about, repeated, appropriated, and regurgitated. In his article White compares Precious to Birth of a Nation, a 1915 silent film based on the novel The Clansman, which promoted white supremacy and depicted the Ku Klux Klan as heroic.

This alone should be an erratic enough statement to discount Armond White’s article. But not only does Reed endorse and freely quote from it, he one-ups it, saying that Precious makes the director of Birth of a Nation “look like a progressive.” Yikes. Seriously. I need a coffee….

Okay, I’m back. Sigh, just in time for Reed’s denial of rape and incest, or at least his preference for keeping such things tidily under the carpet.

“Indeed, the business model for both the book [and the film]…was the black incest product, The Color Purple.”

Reed seems to deplore anyone shining a light on the fact that women and girls are raped and molested with shocking and alarming regularity. How dare someone tell a story about a woman being raped or molested!

In the Q debate Reed denies that incest occurs in the black community and lays an unfounded ad hominem attack on his arch nemesis Sarah Seigel, all in one fell swoop: “There’s probably more incest happening in Sarah Siegel’s group than in the African-American community.” I don’t know what “Sarah Siegel’s group” refers to—Siegels? Women? Financiers of films? Underwear designers? Hollywood types?

Happy one year anniversary to CGQB!

2010-03-04T17:50:00.000+02:00

Today’s Cincinnati Enquirer contains a Cincinnati Guerrilla Queer Bar one year anniversary story. The article — titled, “Mobile bar movement working for area gays” — details a popular policy at local bars: Only women are allowed to dance on stages. CGQB attendees have grappled with this policy and usually, by the end of the night, bouncers give up and let everyone dance on stage.

The comments section is starting to really heat up, as it normally does when stories like this are published, and here are a few of the noteworthy remarks:

Umm, LOL at Cincinnati?

CGQB visits a new bar on the first Friday of each month, the next queering being March 5. To stay informed on where we’re going next, join the Facebook group.

[Via http://stuffqueerpeopleneedtoknow.wordpress.com]

2010-03-04T02:57:00.000+02:00

fantastic movie. when i think of my current situation with my girlfriend, that title always pops into my head. M’s mom seemingly doesn’t know about my relationship with her daughter. I’m sure if she knew that i know that she does know that her daughter and I more than friends there is no way in hell she would have invited me to live with them. as manipulative as M’s mother she thinks she’s playing the both of us. a couple of reasons i say that:

1. One night M came over to my place alone. We fooled around and she gave me a very visible hickey. that Sunday her mom invited me to go eat noodles with them. We hung out that day and i went to m’s place afterwards. M came downstairs and told me that her Mom had seen the hickey and asked her if she was the one who gave it to me. That’s how she found out about us.

2. since we met M has spent nearly every weekend at my house and whenever she is hanging with her mom she is usually texting or calling me. When M and her mom get into an argument, M threatens to move out. M told her mom about my trouble with my landlady and her building being foreclosed on and me maybe looking for another place to stay.

You put one and two together and you have the reason she asked me to move in with them. She knows M wants to live with me; she knows she can’t make it on her own financially and she won’t have anyone to live vicariously through if M moves out so instead of M moving out and leaving her with the full rent to pay, she moves me in. Nice.

I would love to think that maybe it’s just my overactive paranoid imagination creating this scenario, and she is doing this out of the goodness of heart, but from what M has told me about her and after meeting this woman i know that to not be the truth. this woman is gutter. And gutter knows gutter. She played her hand well and she’s good, real good, but she’s not me.

[Via http://whothefuckisbeanrandolph.wordpress.com]

Craptastic

2010-03-02T18:52:00.000+02:00

Summer ********** – “SO. On the way home from Disney, I smelled poop and envisioned Madilyn eating it so I pulled over and sure as $hiz, she’s got poop on her face and hands, eating it. Not kidding. She smiled at me as I gagged. I have “special” kids.”

- Question….. what the F*CK is wrong with you? Why would you do this? Did you drink a lot of malt liquor when you were pregnant? Cause there’s absolutely no excuse for posting this horrific update that will most likely make every guy want to chop his nuts off with a butter knife and every girl convert to lesbianism. I always wondered who was responsible for birthing The Garbage Pail Kids and now I know.

[Via http://youneed2stop.wordpress.com]

QN Goes Rogue!

2010-03-02T02:36:00.000+02:00

No, we’re not following in Sarah Palin’s footsteps. Instead Queer Networks is sponsoring this year’s Rogue Festival in the Tower District. We are donating advertising on our sites and email blasts to help promote this great cultural event in Fresno. This is probably one of the premier festivals in the Tower District and we’re glad to be helping such a fine event. The event organizers approached us a few months back and wanted us to help them get the word out. They have donated advertising and given us links to some of our blogs from the Rogue website and we’re super stoked to be one of their promotional partners this year.

If you want to check out some of the other sponsors for the event you can click here:

http://roguefestival.com/rogue2010/?page_id=453

Queer Fresno will be sponsoring and hosting the Friday night party on March 12th at Starline. It’ll be late because they’re having a performance there until 10pm but we’ll start letting people in by 10:30ish I’m sure. So come on out and party with us as Queer Fresno goes Rogue in 2010!!!

[Via http://queermerced.com]

We don't even have pictures, just memories to hold that grow sweeter each season as we slowly grow old

2010-02-27T02:27:00.000+02:00

“You’re my ocean.” She said it so peacefully, so factually, and left it at that.

Sardonically, I thought, “What, ‘cuz I’m drowning you?” Instead, I waited a few beats and ask, “How’s that?”

She thought for a moment. Licked her lips in contemplation. “I don’t know. You just are. Your emotions are like the tides. You can be so destructive and rough, like the waters in a storm. Or you can be calm and beautiful. But either way, you always put me at peace.”

Those might be the most beautiful, honest words anyone’s ever spoken to me. I want them to be written into our wedding vows, whenever that day comes. She’s the only person who can take my voice away.

In re-reading the words she said to me, I realize that typing them out on a screen does them a harsh injustice. She’s not a words person. She’s a numbers person, logic and reason. Words, for her, are cut and dry. Use them to say exactly what you mean. Which often doesn’t lend itself to poetry, though today, it clearly did.

The other night, she told me, “When I marry you, I already have our rings picked out.”

What? When?? What happened to If?

Girl reads me well. “I mean If.” She smirked. “If I marry you. The company that made my vintage wave ring is still around. They do custom designs. What I want is gonna cost about $5,000 for the both of them. Waves with little diamonds.”

I looked down at the ring on my finger now. I wear it on my right ring finger, saving the left one for the Real Ring. Thought about how that ring ended up there… one week ago, I went out without her. She said, “I trust you,” and put her ring, one of her most treasured possessions, on my finger to keep me “out of trouble,” she said with a smile.

I told her she wasn’t getting it back. Got her a new wave ring from work.

Then the conversation about the rings, the custom rings that will cost us $5,000.

“We’re never getting married, are we?” I joked. “With the rings and the lavish Mardi Gras party and costume dress, it’s a wonder we’ll ever get the money!”

I thought the wave ring was a great idea because she used to surf, and her love for the waves has never gone away. She misses the Pacific Ocean. I love the ocean myself, and water is one of many things that binds us together.

It didn’t hit me until today just why wave rings would be so meaningful at our wedding. She’d never said words like that to me before. I’m her ocean….

I asked her, “If I’m your ocean, and you know how destructive I can be, then why the hell do you provoke me?!?”

She grinned, shrugged her shoulders.

And then it came to me. “Because you’re a surfer girl, and you like to ride the waves. You need that rush… and the calm that comes after.”

[Via http://freeinsilence.wordpress.com]

No Atheists in Fox Holes

2010-02-25T18:53:00.000+02:00

So after I was ‘laid off’ I decided the best thing to do would be to go back to school, enter a new profession that I could actually tolerate….I’ve been in the same industry for over twenty years and this last place I worked was home to the most morally bankrupt bunch of human stains I have ever encountered. So now I’m enrolled in school and I like it, I have friends who turned out to be professional students, they just keep getting degrees and grants and certificates..is it too late for me to become cocooned in the world of higher education, I think I’m in love.

Today I got the contents of my personnel record sent to me, I was curious to see if the shit smeared pennies that I used to work for would add some negative evaluations to the file just to bolster there case against me….I was surprised to find that they did not..heres what i dont understand about unemployment.. if unemployment finds me lying about ANYTHING they will take back all the money that they gave to me..if an employer is found to be lying nothing happens to them and thats crap, the employer is lying TO A GOVERNMENT AGENCY hello? But I am going to see my attorney next week and we’ll talk all about that im sure.

So, on a personal note I have a cold, not a bad one, Ive been fighting it with vitamins and beer, staying away from the gym for a few days, hopefully will get back to working out tomorrow afternoon…I also have to get back to mediating and practicing qi gong which is moving meditation, its helped me alot…but I’ve been distracted, well thats not true, not distracted just feeling sorry for myself that needs to end. Tomorrow is Friday which brings me great joy not so much as it used to when I was working for the Flying Ass Monkey Circus but it still makes me happy. It’s been raining here for the past two days and that makes me happy too, I love running in the rain makes me feel part of the weather not just an observer…

How about some music, Aimee Mann is a brilliant songwriter (my opinion) heres another one that could be my theme song…have a wonderful Thursday

[Via http://walkingdebris.wordpress.com]

the meeting of M

2010-02-25T02:51:00.000+02:00

M and I met a little over 6 months ago after she responded to an ad I placed. I was about a month out of a relationship and she was 5 months out of one. At that point I was just trying to meet some people to take my mind off the fact that I had just been dumped. Wasn’t looking for anything serious.

I was talking to a few people when she and I started exchanging our little getting to know you emails. I remember hers were always very short and to the point. Sometimes only a few words long. I was used to paragraphs. I learned that she was a half-white, half-Korean 26 year-old Mother of two. Yep: RED FLAGS! I never felt comfortable dating anyone younger than me and I had sworn off relationships with anyone who had kids after the break-up before the last break-up. But for whatever reason we kept talking and a few days later we had our first phone conversation.

I found her to be very real. She wasn’t trying in any way to impress me and she gave everything to me straight and I found that refreshing. Very different from the other women I was talking to. We made plans to meet. She didn’t want to do the typical dinner and a movie, but rather meet at my place. We did. She brought the kids along and it was awkward as hell. The kids were comfortable in my place, but M and I barely looked at each other. She was tall and svelt. We had pizza and fries and they didn’t stay long. She gave me a hug before she left.

I don’t remember how I felt when she left. I honestly thought I would never see her again. I continued to talk to other women and bounce back and forth with my ex. M talked to other women also. I remember making plans with a woman who on paper would have been perfect for me. Single, my age, great job, no kids and time to hang out whenever she felt like it. We met up and it was nice, but I couldn’t stop thinking about M. But knew a relationship with her would be nothing but problems and I had just gotten out of one of those. After the date with the other woman I had a passing thought, “Wouldn’t it be weird if I ended up with the 26 year old.” I actually laughed at the thought.

Here I am 6 months later and I am in love with her.

[Via http://whothefuckisbeanrandolph.wordpress.com]

Unknown 101

2010-02-23T10:50:00.000+02:00

I feel like shit most the time. I lie to my friends, when they ask me if i ever been with a girl before. I tell them that ive been with a couple of girls, but never been with one. Every girl I’m attracted to, i get stuck in the friend stage. I’ve only been with two guys, one when I was 15 n the other when i was 17. i know with the frist guy that i was gay but that word never came up. It wasn’t till my 2nd year of high school when i fell in love with a girl named Rosa(fake name, for her sake i still love her) she was smart, and athletic. She was in my same grade, but the youngest of our class. Her beauty could not be match. I was terrified to tell her that she took my breathe away every time she talked to me. For almost a whole year I knew i was gay and that i was in love with Rosa, but i dare not to speak a word of this to my family. Out of fear n shame i kept my feelings n thoughts bottle up, but my eyes always followed her. My junior year I was about to brust and i want to tell her every feeling i had for her. I knew she had Mrs. Brady 4th period and i couldn’t hold it back anymore. I asked my teacher if i could go to the restroom, and headed straight for Mrs. Brady’s classroom. “Mrs. Brady, can I borrow Rosa for a minute?” Mrs. Brady said yes with a nod. With a unsteady heart and trembling legs I walk over to Rosa n said “can u come with me for a minute, rosa?” she said sure n got up n followed me out the big fire doors. Once we got out the door she asks “Did I do somthing wrong?” and I replied in an unsteady tone ” no… u didn’t do anything wrong. I just had to tell u that I ..um.. I-I I’m sorry I’m so nervous …um..” “why are u nervous?” “Because…. I like you, Rosa.” I exclaimed. “well I like you, too” she replied back. ”no i like like you, i love you.” I explained on brink of crying. Her angelic smile flew across her beautiful mouth that i dreamed of kissing. with a sweet n nice voice she says “Sorry but i have a boyfriend.” already aware of that fact I said ” keeping it all to myself was killing me so i just wanted to tell you how i feel about u. I know my love will never be fully return but this just relieve some of the pain in my heart. That day we became closer friends n thats all. We still talk n hang out n party. She going into the airforce in a matter of months. n im goin to college. We both remember that day. um well thats all for this blog.

[Via http://maycat19.wordpress.com]

Ending the War

2010-02-21T02:20:00.000+02:00

Originally published on Sayoni.

“Fridae has been told that a total of 85 people including filmmakers Sun Koh and Royston Tan have lodged police reports over the long Chinese New Year weekend about pastor Rony Tan’s offensive comments concerning gay men and lesbians in an online video.”

Read the rest of the article here.

Freedom of religion is a tricky thing. Take it too far and you can justify theocracy, give it too little and you have oppression. When freedom of religion and freedom of speech attempts to go together, it becomes even more of an unnavigable thicket.

Did Pastor Rony Tan make a mistake? Of course he did. He said things that were both ignorant and arrogant, as well as extremely bigoted. He acted in a way that no religious leader should have, in openly disparaging another religion, especially without much basis. Very few people would say that what he said was completely acceptable. And he has been reprimanded for it, by the ISD no less. The implications on this being considered a national security issue are for another author to debate thoroughly, but this author believes the use of the ISD to be heavy-handed and to send a chilling effect on political discourse and legitimate criticism of religion.

The ground gets more slippery when one considers his remarks against the queer community. I watched the video and found myself rolling my eyes at his ignorance. But what’s new? He is only echoing what every other pastor says, when they might choose to speak on the issue. I am not sure he has had the opportunity to know better, and even if he hasn’t, whether he even realises the damage he is doing. After all, he is doing what a lot of religious leaders do: latch on to one issue of moral significance and use it to gain popularity and following.

Are the police reports justified? Again, while I consider his remarks to be bigoted, unwarranted and completely lacking in any sort of grounding in reality or logic, the use of the police hand in this, is going too far. Of course, this is my personal opinion only, and I am fully aware other people might feel differently.

Like it or not, we are in a sort of ridiculous culture war, that has been unnecessarily imported from western countries: the Christians against the gays. The two groups are by no means mutually exclusive, which makes the war all the more painful. It is a war that has been going on for a long time, and like all ridiculous wars, no one can really pinpoint who fired the first shot, or why the fighting still goes on. We may shake our head and wonder why the Palestines and Israelis simply cannot abandon their differences and come to a peace treaty, but the cycle of hate is such that unless both sides realise they are being idiots, the laying down of arms is impossible. The recent battles in this war, the 377A debate, the AWARE saga, Anglican pastor who disparaged the queer community, have all created a sort of siege mentality on the Christian community here, and the police reports are not helping.

Am I saying, let them say whatever they want, let them perpetuate the hate? Of course not. If we want acceptance, we have the responsiblity to educate others about ourselves. We have the responsiblity to walk up to our religious leaders, our families, our friends, and tell them exactly who we are, tell them about our humanity. They will not listen, not at first. But if we don’t try, if we don’t tell them again and again, the words may never reach their hearts.

This culture war goes beyond the queer community, it is simply the outer edge of a social phenomenon of religious extremism and divisiveness. The war is bigger than us, and as I mentioned earlier, sometimes has nothing to do with the queer community but the desire of religious leaders to maintain a following – we just happen to be low-hanging fruit, easy to take a shot at. But there is no reason why we have to go down the path other countries have. There is no reason why religion and sexuality should be two separate spheres of our lives, and our society.

It is time to end the war before we take too many casualties.

[Via http://pleinelune.wordpress.com]

Guy rages against gays, gets booed off stage

2010-02-20T02:39:00.000+02:00

From Talking Points Memo:

During a CPAC segment to recognize student conservative activists from across the country, one particular conservative, Ryan Sorba of the California Young Americans for Freedom, denounced CPAC for allowing the gay conservative group GOProud to co-sponsor the event and host a booth. After finishing his short speech against homosexuality as being contrary to the concept of natural rights — amidst booing from the crowd — he walked off the stage.

I’m curious if this guy actually thinks his whole “civil rights=natural rights=natural reproduction=????” tirade make sense. He seems awfully proud of himself, at any rate.

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

Sexy Alexis Texas in Lesbian action

2010-02-18T18:32:00.000+02:00

[Via http://gnkfun.wordpress.com]

Why is it okay for a liberal...

2010-02-18T02:48:00.000+02:00

to use all kinds of racist and stereotype remarks like… well, he’s from the South so that explains it or they’re just a bunch of homophobes… why is that okay?

Or, why is it okay for a liberal to promote their liberal ideologies and beliefs, by calling people that believe in God uneducated morons?

And how can atheists quote commandments from the Bible and judge people using the Bible as the standard, when they do not even believe the Bible to be the true and inspired Word of God?

Why have the liberals been able to get away with this?

[Via http://professordendy.wordpress.com]

Pussy Madness

2010-02-16T18:45:00.000+02:00

Disclaimer: This is pure humor. Contains explicit language

I really believe that pussy has the ability to drive a person mad…whether man or woman. Dudes are brought to their knees and often develop a crazy obsession by a woman who have given them the so-called “good pussy”.

Lesbian pussy madness takes on a whole different meaning…that ex girlfriend becomes a crazed stalker because of the pussy. Then there is the possessive chick who wants you to do what she says and when and how she says it; all because she wants to possess you and your pussy. Then you have the chick who won’t leave your house or your life because the pussy has driven her sexually insane.

So what is it about the pussy that makes lesbian women so damn crazy; is it the sex? Does some kind of chemical change happen in our bodies when two women screw that potentially unleashes this unbridled pussy demon? Cunnilingus and penetration are two very different things. If you ever had sex with a man, you know that he can only go so long before he has to regroup. Two women on the other hand can screw and ultimately climax for hours on end, to the point of exhaustion. Maybe all this excessive cumming causes the crazies to develop and eventually take over if allowed…who knows.

Whatever the case may be, there are a lot of female pussy psychopaths out there. Be careful, lest you be converted. LMAO.

[Via http://aquariussoul.wordpress.com]

The Reward for Suppressing God's Truth

2010-02-16T02:25:00.000+02:00

Recompense for Suppressing God’s Truth

Are you suppressing God’s Truth in a life of sin? Before you click the pause button and continue to ignore and suppress the truth, I want to let you know that I’ve been there! Listen to what God’s word says about the result of suppressing his truth. God’s Truth, especially during our generation, has been ignored and, in fact, purposefully suppressed. Are you ignoring God’s Truth? But why? As we have stated in our previous webcasts, people will try to bury the truth under a life of sin for fear that their spiritual nakedness will be revealed. Some love sin more than God. What does today’s generation receive for suppressing the truth and what will God quickly do in response?

Today’s message is taken from a Passage in the letter from the apostle Paul to the Romans 1:16-2:16. The apostle Paul says:

16 -17It’s news I’m most proud to proclaim, this extraordinary Message of God’s powerful plan to rescue everyone who trusts him, starting with Jews and then right on to everyone else! God’s way of putting people right shows up in the acts of faith, confirming what Scripture has said all along: “The person in right standing before God by trusting him really lives.”

16For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. 17For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”

Ignoring God Leads to a Downward Spiral this letter essentially says:

18 -23But God’s angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud (a covering) over truth.

18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they) became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

What is Paul saying?

But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can’t see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

24 -25So God said, in effect, “If that’s what you want, that’s what you get.” It wasn’t long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!

So what is God’s reward for suppressing the Truth?

24Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 -27Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

26For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

28And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

28 -32Since they didn’t bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it’s not as if they don’t know better. They know perfectly well they’re spitting in God’s face. And they don’t care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

God Is Kind, but Not Soft

1Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. 2We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. 3Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? 4Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? 5But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.

1 -2 Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn’t so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you’ve done.

3 -4You didn’t think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he’s such a nice God, he’d let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he’s not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.

5 -8You’re not getting by with anything. Every refusal and avoidance of God adds fuel to the fire. The day is coming when it’s going to blaze hot and high, God’s fiery and righteous judgment. Make no mistake: In the end you get what’s coming to you—Real Life for those who work on God’s side, but to those who insist on getting their own way and take the path of least resistance, Fire!

6He will render to each one according to his works: 7to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; 8but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury. 9There will be tribulation and distress for every human being who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, 10but glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. 11For God shows no partiality.

9 -11If you go against the grain, you get splinters, regardless of which neighborhood you’re from, what your parents taught you, what schools you attended. But if you embrace the way God does things, there are wonderful payoffs, again without regard to where you are from or how you were brought up. Being a Jew won’t give you an automatic stamp of approval. God pays no attention to what others say (or what you think) about you. He makes up his own mind.

12For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.

12 -13If you sin without knowing what you’re doing, God takes that into account. But if you sin knowing full well what you’re doing, that’s a different story entirely. Merely hearing God’s law is a waste of your time if you don’t do what he commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God.

14 -16When outsiders who have never heard of God’s law follow it more or less by instinct, they confirm its truth by their obedience. They show that God’s law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God’s yes and no, right and wrong. Their response to God’s yes and no will become public knowledge on the day God makes his final decision about every man and woman. The Message from God that I proclaim through Jesus Christ takes into account all these differences. 14For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them 16 on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.

[Via http://anthonyfranciscosr.wordpress.com]

Love: In Your Body, Heart, and Mind

2010-02-14T18:30:00.000+02:00

A healthy love in a virtuous man or woman does not separate the heart from the head. As Ayn Rand explained, “Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem: it is his response to his own highest values in the person of another—an integrated response of mind and body, of love and sexual desire. Such a man (or woman) is incapable of experiencing a sexual desire divorced from spiritual values.”

A friend of mine, a gay Objectivist, explains it this way: romantic love involves a “mutual admiration society.”

Such a love doesn’t in itself differentiate between straight and gay, except as the lover’s natural desires come into play. A very straight man who has great admiration for another man but who has no sexual attraction for men will not desire to consummate his respect.

Procreation is no longer essential to the survival of the human species. Accept your love – or the love of others – whether gay, lesbian, or straight.

If you are fortunate enough to have found a partner whom you greatly admire, and who similarly admires you; and if you share sexual attraction with that person, then celebrate your relationship! Commit yourself to nurturing your couplehood with time, energy, and attention. Love with your body, heart, and mind.

[Via http://lgbtconservative.wordpress.com]

A heavy dance-funk track with a slice of punk and a few extra pounds

2010-02-14T01:36:00.000+02:00

[ARTIST: GOSSIP] [SONG: HEAVY CROSS]

Shooting squirrels to eat as a child and being the overweight teenager with short hair who realizes that she is a lesbian in the middle of an intolerant Christian community are just some of the harsh realities that have made Beth Ditto who she is today: A strong, raw and wonderfully voluminous power dyke with a punk attitude who isn’t afraid of wobbling her bits and loudly supporting GLBT and feminist causes.

“Heavy Cross” is from Gossip’s 2009 album, “Music for Men”, which was a title that Beth Ditto, Gossip’s charismatic front-person, came up with as a feminist joke. After having been to a concert with a girlfriend where they were the only two women in the audience, and seeing all the men totally into the show, the notion of gender-pleasing music stuck with her. A lot of the material for the album was written in the Shangri-La Studios in Malibu, California, where it was also recorded. In the back stood Bob Dylan’s old tour bus, and Brace Paine, the guitarist and music creator, converted the bus into a little studio where he and Beth Ditto would work on the songs together.

Beth Ditto grew up in Arkansas in a trailer park with 6 siblings, right in the heart of the American Bible Belt. She came out as a lesbian when she was 18, and even though there was not much acceptance from the surrounding Christian community, her mother and siblings have always supported her and encouraged her to be herself. Beth Ditto met her girlfriend, Freddie Fagula, when she was 19, and they are still together.

Vocalist Beth Ditto explained “Heavy Cross” to the NME June 27, 2009: “I know so many amazing people who devote their lives to undoing things, and I feel that’s the essence of punk now because punk’s already been done, it’s old. It’s about recreation and my friends, who I feel like are the ultimate creative re-creators.” The “heavy cross” is a symbol of the pressure that society puts on people who find it hard to fit in, and is most probably also a reference to the conservative Christian community in which she grew up.

The cover artwork for Gossip’s “Music for Men” is a photograph of Hannah Blilie, the band’s drummer who replaced Kathy Mendonca in 2004.

In 2009, Beth Ditto designed a limited edition clothes collection for the British plus size chain store Evans.

[Via http://soundtales.wordpress.com]

Utter nonsense of marriage inequality

2010-02-13T02:32:00.000+02:00

Via Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Dish, I challenge all marriage equality opponents to watch this and even try to claim that it makes any sense at all:

There’s no way that barring two women in a loving relationship from marrying while allowing one of those lesbian women to marry a random man supports families, helps children, protects society or anything else (fill in any of the other arguments — all lame — that marriage equality opponents spew).

But as insane as it is, this video depicts the sad, shameful reality in the vast majority of the United States.

If we truly mean “liberty and justice for all,” if we truly want all citizens to have “equal protection of the laws,” then it’s long past time for this injustice — and the insane injustice of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell — to end.

[Via http://mypointexactly.wordpress.com]

Homosexuality and the Church

2010-02-11T18:42:00.000+02:00

My assessment of statements by Dr. James B. Nelson

Dr. Nelson is professor of Christian ethics at United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, New Brighton, Minnesota. This article appeared in the Christianity and Crisis April 4, 1977. This text was prepared for Religion Online by John R. Bushell.

1. Homosexual Christians are sisters and brothers of all other Christians, earnestly seeking the church’s full acceptance without prejudgment on the basis of a sexual orientation regarding which they had no basic choice.

Reaction:

This statement assumes that homosexuality is not a choice; that God intended for some people to be homosexuals.

2. While antihomosexual bias has existed in Western culture generally, the church must take responsibility for its share in shaping, supporting, and transmitting negative attitudes toward homosexuality.

Reaction:

This statement assumes that when culture changes, the church must make any and all necessary changes to stay current even if it means redefining truth.

3. The Christian mandate for social justice will not let us forget that discrimination continues today against millions of gay persons in employment, housing, public accommodations, education, and in the enjoyment of fundamental civil liberties.

Reaction:

This statement assumes culture still has changes to make to accommodate homosexuality.

4. The church is called to do its ongoing theological and ethical work as responsibly as possible. Fresh insights from feminist theologians, gay Christians, and those secular scholars who frequently manifest God’s “common grace” in the world remind us of the numerous ways in which our particular sexual conditions color our perceptions of God’s nature and presence among us. If the Protestant Principle turns us against absolutizing historically relative theological judgments, so also our openness to continuing revelation should convince us, with some of our ancestors-in-faith, that “the Lord has yet more light and truth to break forth.”

Reaction:

This statement assumes that we can view God in any way that we want. Also, we do not have complete truth, and therefore must give credence to all ideas.

5. The heterosexually oriented majority in the church has much to gain from a deeper grappling with this issue: an enriched capacity to love other human beings more fully and with less fear.

Reaction:

This statement assumes that if we do not approve of certain human behaviors, then we do not love people.

Anonymous Quote:

“Homosexuality should be allowed to continue only as long as it stays confined to small groups. If all of humanity decided to reject the opposite sex as mates humanity would cease to exist. Homosexuals could hinder human survival.”

The previous statement is alarming especially if, as Dr. Nelson says, homosexuality is not a choice.

[Via http://irrelevantaxiom.wordpress.com]

Sarah Waters - Affinity

2010-02-09T10:35:00.000+02:00

Affinity is a 1999 historical fiction novel by Sarah Waters.

Plot.

Margaret Prior (also called “Peggy” and “Aurora”), an unmarried woman from an upper class family, visits the Millbank Prison in the 1870s Victorian era England. The protagonist is an overall unhappy person, recovering from her father’s death and her subsequent failed suicide attempt, and struggling with her lack of power living at home with her over involved mother despite being almost 30. She becomes a “Lady Visitor” of the prison, hoping to escape her troubles and be a guiding figure in the lives of the female prisoners. As she peers through a flap in the door, entranced by the sight of a young woman with a flower — she is reminded of a Carlo Crivelli painting. Of all her friendships with prisoners, she is most fascinated by this woman, who she learns to be Selina Dawes, medium of spirits.

Sarah Waters – Affinity

[Via http://larchive.wordpress.com]

Nature

2010-02-09T02:37:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, the weatherman said this week there will be 10-20 more inches of snow falling on top of the 21 inches that fell over the past weekend. Being a country boy from Wichita Falls, Texas, that’s more snow than I have ever seen in my entire life. The snow just looks so beautiful, well until I had to shovel some of it.

Watching the news I saw reports of mudslides in California. And how could I forget the tragedy in Haiti? How could I not remember to pray for those who are suffering? I can’t help but think that maybe Mother Nature has something important to tell us.

All of it made me think about the majesty of God. Looking outside my window made me marvel at the might of His hand…how BIG He truly must be. It also made me think about how small I am in the larger scheme of things.

I remembered be taught how men (humans) were created to “subdue and have dominion over the earth”. I was taught that it is man’s job; his rightful place to rule as “a god” over all that was created. With all that’s going on with nature, it doesn’t look like man has much dominion at all.

Then it hit me, man (human beings) are not “above” nature, we are “a part of” nature. If anything at all, we are subject to nature. The 21 plus inches of snow paralyzed the nation’s capitol. No one could safely drive anywhere. People were having heart attacks just trying to clear the snow from their driveways. Hundreds of thousands were left without power. And need I recap the countless people who are lost and/or dead in Haiti?

When God speaks through us through nature, it’s in our best interest to listen. At the risk of sounding fatal, I think the message is if we don’t take care of the earth, the earth will stop taking care of us. Before the earth let’s us destroy her, she will destroy us.

[Via http://tuanngai.wordpress.com]

Could be an explanation to lesbianism but...

2010-01-31T02:37:00.000+02:00

how do you explain homosexuality?

This sarcastic quote by an atheist/evolutionist/pro-homosexual could be a explanation as to why females choose to be lesbians… “But hey, women are only ribs once remove and should be happy to be expendable, submissive bipedal incubators who knows their place…”

What do you think?

Now, how do we explain homosexuals in males…? Sick!

What the Bible says about both… 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

[Via http://professordendy.wordpress.com]

Friendly Reminder

2010-01-28T18:25:00.000+02:00

Swing by and say hello! Check out local artists and musicians! Support your local community!

[Via http://burokunhato.wordpress.com]

Real tragedy of being alone

2010-01-28T02:28:00.000+02:00

Atheism is a misfortune for the homosexual. [1]Being atheist brings endless number of possibilities to get closer and closer to the core of understanding of all mysteries because the world is his and its consequences impresses his satisfaction of knowledge. A drink sweetened with pretentious credibility.

But when mental scenes arise as the enemy does behind darkness, every single resource of mental strength fades away leaving our egocentric view defenseless. Another see-through reality allows us to perceive a little beyond. No enemy is completely invisible.

My sex awakening woke up with TV. It welcomed me with series of adultery and promiscuity; an open door for my newly born curiosity and emotions. I had just turned 10 years old.

So under teen pressure I went to a party and some suggested going to the movies at midnight. Now internet gives discretion and secrecy. Back then my teen friends and I went to find out what we had heard about this indecent stuff.

[2]I already knew what sex was about; the rest was a distant cloud. But on that night a Pornography movie wounded my heart severely; I was shot at point-blank range; a real encounter with death.

[3]Witnessing to sexual intercourse is a way to get senses imprisoned, and when we want to intelligently tell them apart; woman and man turn into one flesh. Every perspective plays with sensuality. So, is sex bad or evil? No way, it’s a gift understood in the realm of love.

[4]At this stage any careless reader might dare to say that another nature has been born, that a revealed frontier has been set in front of us to be tried, but nothing further than “the truth”. A clean heart stumbles upon a death trap; the more we fight our way out the more we get entangled while an intruder comes in as a masked murderer.

When a specific pornographic scene settled at the bottom of heart it keeps silently spreading into every healthy part of the being; poisonous yeast.

On the contrary finding intimacy in the opposite sex gives joy to both wife and husband, but when we’re bombarded with images a bond arises between condition and sensation.

Just like a dog hiding a bone to get back later and chew on. that’s our behavior from this moment on. One minute becomes two minutes, one week becomes two weeks, and one image becomes one hundred. We have been besieged and left on fire.

And [5]one day, vivid dreams visit us in waking hours along with the mornings. And that’s where consciousness comes to and wonders what’s going on? [6]An impostor has trespassed on our dreams and calls itself “myself” disrespectfully.

Self confidence hurries to help even though it’s too late. A weak counterattack is based on our walk to maturity. Heart doesn’t hurt too much, almost nothing at all. We just observe so far.

[1] “I am the Lord, and there is none else: there is no God, besides me: I girded thee, and thou hast not known me:”

- Isaias 45,5

[2] “He answered them: ‘This is the work of an enemy.’ They asked him: ‘Do you want us to go and pull up the weeds?’”

- Matthew 13,28

[3] “Be sober and alert because your enemy the devil prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.”

- 1 Peter 5,8

[4] “It is not surprising: if Satan disguises himself as an angel of light,”

- 2 Corinthians 11,14

[5] “For dreams have led many people astray. Those who hoped in them have fallen.”

- Sirach 34,7

[6] “While everyone was asleep, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and left.”

- Matthew 13,25

[Via http://letmewitness.wordpress.com]

0013 Porndrawing - Nina Mercedez

2010-01-26T10:51:00.000+02:00

image © 2009 – Gianluca Costantini

Inspired by a photo of www.ninamercedezxxx.com

NINA MERCEDES Wanna watch me fuck and get nasty?

Welcome to my Official Website! I love that you stopped by!! You really need to come inside and take a look at the hottest Latina in the XXX industry. I am a XXX Vivid Movie Starlet and Miss Nude Universe! You’ve seen me in magazines from HUSTLER, Penthouse, Genisis, Busty, Club to the cover of Low Rider Magazine and Muscular Development! As a member of NinaMercedezXXX.com, you’ll get full access to all my XXX home movies and endless image galleries! You will see all of my girlfriends too. PLUS tons of bonus content including XXX Streaming DVDs and so much more!

Cum inside now! Love & licks.

[Via http://porndrawing.wordpress.com]

BGC Round Six: "Bad Break"

2010-01-26T02:28:00.000+02:00

The morning after last episode’s dramatic encounter between – well – everyone, is a quiet, reflective time. Flo paces like a caged tiger, Annie and Kendra timidly discuss drama. That’s when Natalie opens her big mouth to wake everyone up like the town’s bitchy crier. She alerts everyone to the Bad Girls photo shoot tomorrow, then notices Kate has talked smack on her pop art portrait. To get back at her, Natalie writes on Kate’s walls that Kate is jealous, except she does this with some barely legible water-based marker, which Kate easily wipes off.

Why would Malibu be jealous? She has everything. Everything save some vocal inflection and the energy to stand and hold conversations.

At the salon, Flo, Amber, and Natalie get their nails did and va-jay-jays waxed. For Flo, this is in anticipation for all the “box eating” that’ll go down when she takes the BGC to Girl Bar, a premiere lesbo hang in LA. Amber writhes in disgust in her chair like the gay baseball player she is.

Natalie explains that she may let a lady eat her box, and I’m thinking, as I watch the Asian ladies do their nails in silence, this is probably what those nail ladies actually talk about in Korean all day too.

At least, I hope so, because I’d be really pissed if they were actually talking shit about my nail beds and sub-par cuticles.

The girls go back to the house where Amber confides in Kate she doesn’t want to go to the munchbox bar, but if she admits that, she knows she’ll be labeled a homophobe. Kate can relate from her “black bar night” incident and they bemoan having to pretend to act lesbian, or even endorse that behavior. See, Ambular doesn’t buy the whole “bisexual” thing, she just knows that Flo sucks internally.

Later that night, Kendra brings back yet another man to the mansion, Angel, who she met at the speed dating event. The girls try to make it “romantic” for Kendra by bringing candles, stuffed animals, and getting naked in the pool next to them to steal attention.

Is it just me, or is Annie talking to the blow up animals and then to Kendra and Angel on the bed such 6 year old girl stunt to try and impress her parents? But on the upside, well done, Dan. Your girl just got “sort of” bad. Unforch for Kendra, her night ends pretty PG. Thanks, Annie.

Flo goes to talk with Amber in attempts to assuage her fears about the gay bar (which, from the looks of their hair and makeup, clearly takes place AFTER their makeover/photo shoot and the producers and editors are hoping we don’t notice the chronological shuffle). Amber again tries to explain her outlook: see, when she made out with women before, that was under different circumstances. That was to look like a slutty fantasy so she could get dick. See the distinction, Flo?

You’re just confused, which do you like? Cooter or penis? Way to throw condescension into the convo, Amber. Well, now Flo’s pissed and is prescient enough to say that if Amber keeps pushing the matter they’re gonna have a problem and Flo would punch her dead in the face.

The next morning it’s photoshoot time!

Actually, ixnay on that exclamation mark. The whole day is a big yawn, very uneventful. It was fun to see the action behind the pictures I eventually photoshopped, but the Portia reunion with Natalie was totally anti-climactic. Everyone laughed along with Natalie calling her a wild banshee, then when they saw Portia, they all hugged her.

Natalie didn’t even talk to her. Boring. No points. Moving on.

As the girls get ready to go out to Girl Bar that night, Amber gets on the horn with her boyf to bemoan the plight of the straight girl stuck in this L-World. CUT TO: Flo putting on the most horrendous puke green eye makeup ever. Steamy. As the girls enter the club, perhaps Kendra put it best, “I never feel uncomfortable anywhere, so Flo? Have a great time. Hold it down, this is your spot.” Thank you, Kendra, for not being a C-U-Next-Tuesday about it! Even Kate stands by the strip pole with bills in her hand! Albeit she wistfully glances over at Amber, proud that she’s showing Flo support. How is she supporting Flo? She’s pouting on the crushed velvet bench, bitching about having to be there. Now, I want to say that this scene really racked me up some mucho muffdive points, but as I glance at the board, I “technically” only get 3 points for a same sex M.O.

There is no category for “same sex licking tops of boobs” and “same sex feeling up” – but would this fall under the “Lesbian Action anything more than kissing” category? It’s a fair question. I think Flo earned those damn points.

Back at the house, Amber asks Flo if her mother knows what she does. I mean, she must be mortified and embarrassed watching this! Amber, seriously, shut the eff up. Flo is a proud Albanian woman just trying to represent! And the fact that Flo didn’t fly off the handle at Amber for speaking out of school AGAIN on the issue is points to Flo right there. (Or should I say, props, clearly I’m not getting more points out of this.) I’m just building a case here, people, of why the ultimate climax of this show should implicate Amber as being just as guilty in instigating the fight as she was attacked.

The next night, they go to Big Wang’s – which appears to be a shittier version of Applebee’s. Angel shows up and orders $20 worth of food and leaves Kendra with the bill.

This is a deal breaker for Natalie, who is now co-running Kendra’s game. Angel is dunzo on their list. So Dunzo that they’re gonna punk him via phone later after he sings on their message machine. Ugh, this guy does suck.

But fear not, Natalie is bringing in back-up. Another D-list athlete! Lawrence, her “NFL Baller” friend, who I get the impression is a Streisand-ticket-holding-friend-of-Dorothy’s. But he tells Natalie to not kiss him because he has a girlfriend and they are JUST friends. Sorry, Natalie, you’re just an unknowing fruit fly. A shrieking banshee of a fly.

In the limo ride home, Flo mounts Natalie in a drunken/humping glory make out sesh.

Kendra, giddy and inspired, proceeds to make out with every girl in the limo, INCLUDING AMBER. Don’t think Flo doesn’t see that shit. But I’m sure Amber would chalk it up to extenuating circumstances again. Lesbo’s are still gross.

At the mansion, Baller Lawrence and his friends join the girls for some after-hours fun. Natalie, in a slutty teddy, lures Lawrence to her bed, but he’s distracted by her slam book/mood wall of pictures of her kissing her boyf ever so gently. You digging Olamide, Mr. Lawrence? Mmmhmm, thought so. When Lawrence has no sugar to pour on Natalie’s sourpuss, she gets thee to a Nunn-ery (get it?!) and protests in confessional, no, no, they would never do anything, they’re just friends! Safe remarks from a woman scorned.

Now here’s where the action heats up. And what better setting than in the hot tub? With alcohol in her system and an audience of men, Amber starts yapping her pie hole about bisexuals again because Annie is wearing AmAp’s “Legalize Gay”.

And she repeats herself – “You’re not gonna like what I have to say, but I’m gonna say it” – so STFU already, woman! Flo comes forward and starts getting in her mouthy, pitbull state, calling out Amber’s hypocrisy of kissing girls. Amber tries to clarify she doesn’t understand licking the cooter, see? There’s a distinction, dammit. Flo gets up in her face and Amber flips and pushes Flo into the pool off the ledge, fracturing her ankle.

Flo is in pain, threatens to kill Amber and Amber says in the confessional “Flo, why don’t you get out of the pool and kick my ass because I’m not backing down.” See? She asked for it.

After injuring Flo, Amber hovers, antagonizing her more. So naturally, when Flo gets out of the pool, she rushes Amber and shoves her, then proceeds to pick her up by her hood rat curls and throw her across the floor.

Woohoo! My point board is flying through numbers like that Union Square counter that counts the national debt or some shit like that! Other Bad Girls rush to hold them back from fighting more, until Amber scurries away into the van to hide. Amber says that she didn’t mean to hurt Flo, but she didn’t care that she fucked up her ankle just the same.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I submit to you: a heartless Amber, just as violent as Flo, but painted the victim because she didn’t have a frothing, foaming mouth as Flo did. And ergo are we to rush to judgment that Florina is the villain? Don’t be fooled by Amber’s defense that she was just trying to respect Flo. How is bringing up a sore argument and instigating and pushing her into the pool respecting her? I think you’ll agree that Amber has no leg to stand on in this situation. And Flo is down to one leg.

As Flo gets taken to the hospital, and Amber to a hotel room to cool off for the night, Natalie escorts her pathetic NFL mantourage to the door, apologizing for them having seen the house in such shambles of drama. Annie and Lexie, useless Extras, discuss how Flo deserved it. They seem to have forgotten the chronology of the night, Amber started it and Flo just responded in kind, and now they are saying she is the one at fault. Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m not claiming Flo is innocent, by no means, I’m merely explaining how it was in defense and in response to initial acts of violence and verbal instigation. No party is innocent here. I rest my case.

The next morning, Amber comes back from the hotel room, where she gathered her homophobe thoughts, I guess, and Kendra and Natalie go to pick up Flo, now in a cast, from the hospital. They regretfully inform her that Amber took a poll if everyone would be cool if she sent Flo home, and they were. They coach her that she needs to put on her best show and cry and beg for mercy.

Flo is astounded SHE has to beg for forgiveness, but agrees to put on a show. And a show it is! She limps and whimpers and cries when the house confronts her. She tries to stand, and hurts her ankle again, quick! Rush to her side! Amber has no clue what it took Flo to get to this house! (Well, probably the same amount of rounds of casting in the tri-state area, but I’m sure the trip was a bit longer from Staten Island. The ferry coulda been a traumatic experience for Flo).

On the staircase, Flo makes a final, teary-eyed plee to Amber. She was in a horrible state when she made the threat to chop her body into pieces! Please?? She won’t even touch another drop of alcohol for the rest of her time in the house! (Whoa! Let’s not get crazy now, Flo. Shit, I’d rather you get kicked out and get me those points then sit there and rot with no points like an Amber for the rest of the season.)

Anyway, Amber’s stupid face buys the act hook, line, and sinker and decides to let her stay. (Maybe it was that dramatic, touching string accompaniment to the scene that swayed her?).

Amber announces by the pool that she can stay, Flo, sucks back a cig and coughs up a thanks. That’s when the act drops. Natalie is proud of Flo’s manipulation, shit, Flo is a better actress than Johnny Depp. Flo shares an Iago-like complicit “Shh” with the audience in confessional. What a wicked minx! Love this girl. She can’t “guarantee” she won’t murder someone while she’s here. And I’m BACK IN THE GAME!

Previews from the next episode tell me that it’s “Opposite Day!” Natalie and Kate are BFFs, Kate is spitting in Kendra’s face, and Flo is nowhere to be seen! I do hope that Natalie pushes Annie into a rage though, so Annie can actually be watchable and interesting for once. And I also look forward to someone else covering my shift and writing this blog for the week. Anyone? Kthxbai.

[Via http://bgcfantasy.wordpress.com]

Support Local LGBT Friendly Businesses

2010-01-24T02:38:00.000+02:00

Well It had been a while since I saw my friend from Three Rivers so I decided to look for her and I found her again on facebook believe it or not. The last time that I saw her is when we worked together and she was starting her jewelery business and I thought I shared a little about her and hopefully you’ll spend your gay money locally and at local LGBT friendly businesses.

Tina St John Design

I’ve been designing jewelry since I was a young teenager. My mother was also an artist specializing in interior design and gourmet cooking. She enrolled me in a jewelry class with a designer from Denver, Colorado, who I later apprenticed with. Further on, after traveling to India, Europe and South Africa I decided to start a business of my own. Tina St John Design was launched in the early 90’s. With much trial and error, and several jewelry designing ventures I have simplified my line and way of presentation. My goal is “to design jewelry that provides a sense of well-being while making a classic statement.”

I am developing a line that incorporates vintage and antique beads to create new modern pieces. I will use your jewelry, and/or my found beads etc and recreate new treasured jewelry. Contact me to learn more about this service and to see what I’m creating from old into new. This eco-friendly and green line is my latest venture.

how I make my jewelry

In making all my jewelry pieces I use fine silver, semi-precious stones and freshwater pearls. Every piece is finished with sterling silver or gold-filled findings. The fine silver that I use is Precious Metal Clay. This is fine silver ground into powder that is mixed with a liquid binder resulting in a clay like consistency. After forming each piece I then fire them in my kiln at 1650 which fuses the metal together, burns off the liquid and forms the solid silver.

contact me today!

559-561-1307 (studio #)

tina_stjohn@yahoo.com

P.O. Box 741

Three Rivers, CA. 93271

Please contact me anytime! I look forward to hearing from you.

www.tinastjohndesign.com

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

VIDEO...Heiress Casey Johnson's Lesbian Sex-Tape... Scheme co-starring Courtenay Semel...

2010-01-23T10:17:00.000+02:00

Casey Johnson and Courtenay Semel’s Sex-Tape Scheme

by Whitney English and Ken Baker

The shocking revelations about Casey Johnson just keep on coming

.

The deceased 30-year-old Johnson & Johnson heiress had plans to release some rather personal footage to make a few bucks and land a deal for a reality show.

“We had our own sex tape,” Johnson’s ex Courtenay Semel tells E! News exclusively. “It was either listen to our families and do what they say to get our lives back, or do it ourselves and sell this tape, work on our show. That was kind of our plan.”

The lovebirds were in need of some quick cash after Johnson was cut off by her parents.

Semel says they used to remind each other, “We can get the money. We’ve already filmed it—why don’t we just put it out there and we’ll just take the money for it. We don’t need our parents.”

Instead, they used the video as leverage when negotiating with their relatives.

“We used it as bribery on both sides of our families,” Semel admits.

The couple considered the film, which was shot during a trip to Texas, to be a bit more than just a voyeuristic adventure.

“We laughed when we watched our sex tape because we were like, ‘This is the most beautiful piece of art work we have ever seen in our lives,’ ” Semel says. “It’s beautiful…When you find that person that’s literally your other half. We don’t care to show this. You could just tell how much, how in love, we were.”

Semel claims they were planning to release the film as a teaser for their reality show, which was in development.

“Our show could’ve gone after that,” she claims. “Casey and Courtenay were going to make Casey and Courtenay happen.”

But don’t expect to see the tape anytime soon—Semel says it’s now in the Johnson family’s possession.

[Via http://ctpatriot1970.wordpress.com]

Gay Marriage.

2010-01-23T02:20:00.000+02:00

I cannot believe she is over fifty years old. Cindy McCain, wife of Senator John McCain, posed for a NOH8 campaign poster and looks… amazing. I’m sure there was a lot of photoshopping going on, but I have seen videos of her during John McCains presidential run and she looked amazing there too.

Is marriage only between a man and a woman? I say no.

Some opponents of gay marriage say its only natural that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. It takes a man and woman to mate, produce offspring, and keep our species going. Lets face it, marriage is not the prerequisite for sex and reproduction; the people who believe we need to get married before we have sex and reproduce are the religious and the parents of daughters who want them to have sex… NEVER (If I have a daughter I want her to be a Nun). Reality is, some couples can and do have children before marriage.

What about sterile men or women? Are they not allowed to get married because they are unable to produce children?

With the option to adopt and the development of artificial insemination, couples gay or straight no longer need to be able to produce children of their own.

There are even those who go so far as to argue that preventing same-sex marriage is NOT discrimination. The argument is that there is no discrimination, they say anyone who wants to get married can get married as long as they meet the requirement of being a man and a woman. Come on really??? Based on that argument, I assume those people would also agree that separate but equal was not discrimination; Black children who were not allowed in White schools were not discriminated against, it was just because they did not “meet the requirement” of being white. I guess Abercrombie and Fich was also not practicing discriminatory hiring practices, because some people just didn’t ”meet the requirement” of being young buff white males.

In Martin Luther King Jr’s “letter from a Birmingham jail” he gives the arguments for what is an unjust law, king says ”an unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself. This is difference made legal.” That description sounds awfully familiar.

[Via http://chiubacca.wordpress.com]

Brain Sex

2010-01-21T02:15:00.000+02:00

I don’t believe in gender. Not the concept, not the identity, nothing. There is no such thing as gender outside the labeling scheme cooked up by academics.

Something needs to be cleared up here about what I believe to be the transsexual condition. I am sure many people believe that transsexual means man or woman with a birth defect, and I share that viewpoint to some extent. But I want to isolate this issue to the barest minimum to facilitate understanding.

I believe the transsexual condition is a state of being brought on in an organism when two of its systems are out of alignment, putting it out of homeostasis and creating the symptoms that we call “transsexualism”. That is it. The fact that so many of us perceive ourselves as nothing more than men and women is another issue. There is no gender involved, no identity issues, and no psychological component to the transsexual condition. There is no sexual orientation as an organizing principle, nor a magic checklist. It simply is, or it isn’t.

When I say I am a woman it is because after correction, having achieved a state of homeostasis and now being comfortable, that is where the balance of traits that I now possess has been grouped and labeled by society. This is also the same way that society labels the balance of traits of babies when they are born. In this, we are no different than other men or women who accept society’s system for such things.

That is why we are men and women, and there is no more to it. All the gender theorizing and navel gazing is wrong about this, and it is irrelevant. There is no “brain sex” as such, for brain sex is a term, while having the appearance of hard definition, that is steeped in gender identity theory, gendered politics, and their underlying assumptions. I reject these kinds of subtle forays of the gender paradigm into science.

Being a minority by accident of birth is nothing new to humanity. People recognize many “minorities” and much politicking has been done over identity. It is important that the concepts of minority and majority remain tied to their overall meaning, that of who holds power, and do not themselves become mired in the specific identities of the various situations where identity politics is practiced.

Transsexual is not an identity to be bandied about by people looking for an issue. It is an awful state of being for a person, one that must be corrected. There is only one transsexual condition. One.

Some people seek to redefine transsexual from its current useless meaning of “anyone who has a sex change” to something with more validity. I am one of those people. The others include the TG, as well as certain sexologists and others in the Psych Industry. Right now all the power for labeling rests with the people who have the least to lose by our destruction and the most to gain by our continued misrepresentation. While the TG politicians are a problem, the chief danger they present is that they open us to attack by our real enemies; those who “study” us in sexology.

As I’ve written before, I believe that Paul McHugh is trying to give cover to the Catholic Church in the ongoing pedophile priest scandal. He is seeking a scapegoat. McHugh knows that he can’t pin this on gay men as a whole because society will not allow that, despite the recent push by Blanchard for “ephebophilia” to be included in the next DSM. But what if they could redefine transsexual women as gay men?

Certainly this would be a great boon, as the bargaining chip of ephebophilia is withdrawn (because it was merely a starting point to scare gay men) . And now transsexual “men”, the gayest of the gay, are offered up as sacrifice, the price for gays to remain free from stigma. The gay men, being our keepers, will not hesitate to make that bargain.

And how is this accomplished? The scurrilous James Cantor, who works in the area of pedophilia, has already attempted to label our brains as being similar to pedophiles. He offered up the hypothesis that our brains show markers for abnormal sexuality, rather than “gender markers”, both prospects being of base of course.

Another problem with the BNSTc finding is that the BNSTc is also smaller in pedophiles. So the BNSTc could be related to atypical sexuality generally rather than to gender identity specifically. (For the record: This should not be misinterpreted comparing transsexualism to pedophilia.)

Do you all see the kind of underhanded, backbiting tactics and agenda we are up against? Of course we all know that it is the BSTc, and not the BNSTc that is in question. But by spreading this sort of vicious rumor Cantor seeks to poison the public mind to us and begin our labeling as sexual deviants, his disclaimers be damned. Political types, especially those in psychology, know how the public reacts and how easy it is to manipulate people.

This has been an ongoing effort of McHugh, Blanchard, and their cronies for a long time now. By reclassifying the symptoms of transsexualism and transvestitism into a single category, and renaming it “autogynephilia”, they have completed the colonization and erasure of men and women like us that the TG started. And now they come to their endgame.

After bringing Anne Lawrence on board as a “real transsexual” for the AGP side, they have found a “real transsexual” for the HSTS side to absolutely erase us once and for all. Cloudy, I am speaking to you.

I can tell by the things you are doing on your blog that you have been in contact with Blanchard, and that you are carrying out his agenda. I think you have been mislead by him about the outcome of your advocacy. I can tell that you have some lingering angst over this transsexual issue, it’s evident in some of the things you post. Blanchard is taking advantage of this to get you to do his bidding.

If you continue on your path, trying to prove that transsexualism is a form of gay man, you will be the key to our genocide. Transition will end, and reparative therapy will begin. We will be labeled as sex offenders if we ask for help, and slowly but surely exterminated. Sacrificed at the altar of McHugh’s Catholic Church and Blanchard’s own personal demons.

I implore you to reconsider what you are doing. You are extremely intelligent and very successful. Is this what you want your legacy to be? Do you want to be party to excusing the horrors for which the Church must surely face justice? Do you want to be the woman who enables our extermination?

If you can ask yourself these questions, Cloudy, and you still feel your needs must come before all of ours and those of generations yet to be born… if that is the case then you are no better than the people who would destroy us.

And so be it.

[Via http://ariablue.wordpress.com]

Interim Post

2010-01-19T10:36:00.000+02:00

I’ve been working on a post about “brain sex” to clear up some of the misinformation going around about a “classic transsexual” viewpoint on the subject since it gets attacked so often. In the meantime I wanted to point out something that is going on lately that I find troubling.

Recently, there has been a rash of sites and postings from people who claim to support “autogynephilia” as a legitimate diagnosis. Soon after the discussion about how helpful and wonderful this diagnosis is, the writers of these blogs for some reason found it necessary to launch directly into attacks on the physiological basis of transsexuality, the standard TG narrative of gender identity, and basically everything anyone has said that contradicts the AGP/HSTS paradigm.

Let the ‘record’ show that we took no notice of these people until their linkage to our blogs was pointed out, and indeed I personally tried to engage them in productive conversation. They were simply not interested and instead quickly retreated and continued their campaign to discredit anyone and everyone involved in this debate. This is when I started to get suspicious.

I believe this is a coordinated effort, the purpose of which is unclear to me at this time. This sudden spate of “autogynephilic” activity followed by a very pointed effort to damn the physiological basis of transsexualism as well as any TG who does not toe their line is more than fortuitous. I’m sure anyone who takes an interest in these matters will probably know who I mean when I say it is most likely “the usual suspects”. I would urge people, no matter what side you are on, to approach these “autogynephilics” with caution if you must do so at all. There is something really wrong there.

In other news, Anonymous T Girl has completed a report on the incident which occurred on my blog when certain parties decided to do the usual tg-activist thing of trying to silence us by “outing”, never mind that many of the people who comment here are “out” which is why their pictures were readily available. The comments here on my blog were fairly bad with all the usual silly sock puppetry and arguments with oneself, but nothing out of the ordinary for the hardcore TG types that typically troll the waters.

The real issue came about with the creation of an attack blog where they tried to profile some of the people who post here to shame and humiliate them into silence using the all-too-typical internet tg “activist” method of bullying and threats. It ended up with some of the worst hate speech against women and intersex people that I have heard from the TG in a long time.

I don’t point this out to start yet another front in this ongoing war between TS and TG, but to get them to remove at least the offending parts of the blogs. While I really dislike targeting any particular individual, the content of these other blogs was so bad it had to be called out.

They took a picture from the website of a person who was not “out” in a meaningful way and put it on their attack blog. When asked to remove the picture because the individual felt that it put her in danger (she had removed it previously when realizing her error), there was no response on several occasions.

No matter how angry someone gets, it is not acceptable to knowingly put a person in danger. And it can never be the case that judging a woman by her “rapeability” is an acceptable joke, or that people are referred to as monsters for their genetics. This is the kind of misogyny and abuse that transsexual women have had to endure at the hands of the TG for many years now.

This is why we fight this war.

[Via http://ariablue.wordpress.com]

How to keep the romance alive

2010-01-17T18:46:00.000+02:00

When you are in an committed long term relationship it is very important to always make an effort to keep the love alive. although its easy to accomplish it doesn’t happen without putting a little of your spare time. You also need a sense of humor, patience, compassion, and lots of love.

I really do love my girlfriend. No one has EVER loved me so competely. She is an intriguing person, genuinely good hearted, and I couldn’t have chosen a better step-mother for my girls. Haing said that our romance is a bit on the boring side from what I am accostume to… wait let me explain. In the past, even though I have kids, I lived a nice balanced social life. During the day I went to all the kids activities the girls were part of and at night I would have babysitters care for my sleeping children while I mingled with the adults. That has changed since I started sharing my live with my wonderful girlfriend. The main problem is that my girlfriend work hours are not conventional. She has to be at work at 5am. As a concequence she HAS to be in bed no later than 10pm. Thus, there is not much room for a nightly social life. I have to admit, I really miss my social life.

I have considered having a social life by myself but I don’t want her to feel left out. I feel it is necessary for me to do what makes me happy but i have yet to find the best and most sesitive way to have a social life without her. In the meantime, while I am on the search of a good balanced social life without myGFi try to keep the romance alive by doing the following activities with my gorgeous girlfriend:

First I try to tell her that I love her as many times as I can. I only say it when I mean it. She knows the difference. This is not so difficult after all she is very loving and very attrative. She might be the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. One of the many reasons why I love her.
Believe it or not I buy her flowers. In fact it is in my to do list for today! She is always weirded out by my gesture but loves it at the same time. I just like to surprise her from time to time with something beautiful.
I am also big on taking her out on early dates. Since she has to go to bed so early each day I try to hire babysitters for dinner time and during the weekend for brunch time. Everytime we go out on dates we regroup as a couple and I feel like we love each other a little more.
Just resently she made me the first romantic dinner without the TV, candle light, romantic music and all (The kids were with their grandparents). I loved it!!!
Wine is a staple at my place. I live to meet her at the door after a long day of work with a glass of wine and a hot drawn bath (she looooooves hot baths).
On of ultimate things to do is TALK. without noices or interruptions, sometimes even without the lights. We just TALK. We make up topics we normally wouldn’t talk about or we ask specific questions that need to be asked. I once asked her what she would like to make our relationship better. We went on for hours.
Once a month we go our DANCING! we both love to dance and we both love reggae. So once a month we go to our favorite reggae spot in the city and we just dance….

Romance is beautiful and it is difficult to gain. Once you have the person you want to be romantically involved with, regardless of the obstacles life might bring you, should always make time to make love happen.

[Via http://lesmom.wordpress.com]

Dedicated to letting the weekend reach its full potential

2010-01-16T18:37:00.000+02:00

DC9 you trendy genderfucked hipster. Your vibe has gone and stolen my heart. Granted my heart is pretty much up for grabs, but you my 9th and U lovely, you had me from the get go. Liberation Dance party (electro-pop with videos broadcast throughout and free rail drinks till 10:30) – the straight girls are drunk and night gay. The boys are all gay or faux-gay (the modified metrosexual? IDK, confusing for my friend to decipher so it wasn’t just in my head). So many drunken and very funny (I was the lightly drinking DD, just happy high on life) PDA moments to observe…oh you low standarded drunken straight kids you! It happens, I’ve been there. Any attention is not better than no attention.

(morning after the gym hair…mohawk seriously degraded).

The pixie cuts, black attire, and flocks of dark haired girls…swoon! You, girl with the black and white striped shirt and black banana around your neck…I’ll say hi next time. Your style was pure sex.

Also, straight girls, you confuse me. It would please me if you are equally confused by me. Reciprocity and all. Also, please don’t spill your drinks on me when we dance. You are not that hot.

And, holy shit…are all gay girls just waiting to be asked to dance? Hi how are you?What’s your name?Let’s dance?!

Clarification

Because so far, yes. Everyone of us is so deep inside our head that it is inconceivable to externalize the secret smile behind our eyes and teasing our lips. Rejection is not that bad. Maybe that’s just how the vanilla hipster gay girls roll (probably). I have high hopes that with a little bit of confidence, an open heart, and thick skin, this is going to work for me. So looking forward to HomoSonic at the end of the month at the Black Cat.

Somewhere around 1:30 I pointed out to my nearly life long straight, engaged, harmless manizer friend that no I don’t think he’s crazy hot, but the girl next to him was. It took her a few minutes but she gave me a big hug and drug me back out to the dance floor. That was really cool. It was also really cool watching her adjust to the dancing style of this particular scene. Modus operandi: if it feels good/fun, do it. Jumping helps.

In bed at 4am, at the gym at 9:30 (I admit, I stopped for a quick coffee first, but I needed it! It’s like cutting yourself but it’s metaphorical so the scars are different and transient). Threw a lot of punches sparring, did kinda shitty, got punched in the face every 20 seconds. Landed my fair share too though. Did okay against the Ring Goddess. Even off her game and TU from training the day before she can rattle my skull. Wicked hooks and relentless. I need to improve my arms. My arms were trashed during the 3rd rounds. My cardio was okay. Yay!

Oh yeah, stopped by the tat shop last night before the outtery. Should have a drawing in a week and will make an appointment to get the work done once I see the drawing.

Question: How do I make a photo transparent so I can overlay another photo and get a ghosting effect? (bonus points for answers including freeware or powerpoint).

[Via http://untilthewheelsfalloff.wordpress.com]

Same Sex Marriage in the Nation’s Capital

2010-01-16T02:20:00.000+02:00

Last month the DC Council voted in favor of approving a bill which would give homosexual couples the right to marry in the Nation’s Capital. This month a DC Superior Court judge ruled that the bill’s opponents do not have the right to call for a referendum. If Congress approves this bill after their 30 legislative day review period, same sex couples should be able to start getting married in March of this year.

Hopefully soon more of the country will take the hint that this is not something that makes any sense to fight over. I have never understood why anyone gets upset over the idea of gays getting married. It’s not like the religious leaders who find that sort of thing distasteful are going to be forced to perform the ceremonies. Gay people aren’t going to want someone who hates them marrying them. It’s possible that the clergy who oppose these things will get asked to perform ceremonies, but I doubt that anyone who’s told "No, I can’t perform your wedding ceremony because I don’t believe you should have the right to marry" is going to still want that person to perform the ceremony anyway.

And I don’t really see how anyone else could have anything close to a valid argument for keeping same sex couples from marrying. If you have a gay family member or friend invite you to their wedding, but you don’t approve of gay marriage- JUST DON’T GO. Simple as that. It doesn’t have to affect you. You don’t have to take it as a personal insult. Just let other people alone and live your life the way you see fit. Why exactly is that so damn difficult for people?

[Via http://impassionedplatypi.wordpress.com]

U-Hauling, is it real or fake?

2010-01-14T18:22:00.000+02:00

Most of us have heard the expression that a lesbian’s first date is moving in together.

We have coined this term as U-Hauling, and as pathetic as it sounds this stereotype is considered to some, true! I have made the mistake of moving in with a girlfriend too soon, and things did not go well. Of course, those regrets always set in after about a month or two of living with this person who you hardly dated, and finding them annoying made things more difficult. But can it work if you decide to U-Haul? What is the shortest amount of time you have used dating before deciding to move in? What was the outcome? Will you ever do it again?

Mz. Pink

[Via http://pinkinthesheets.wordpress.com]

Lesbian Sex Toys

2010-01-12T18:33:00.000+02:00

It’s true that your sex life can become monotonous and boring if you keep doing the same thing over and over. The good news is that there are a lot of resources to help you expand your sexual repertoire. Even lesbian sex life in not an exception when it comes to routines. Here comes the role of lesbian sex toys, which could be helpful spicing up your relationship and makes thing work better than ever. Lesbian sex encompasses many sexual activities, including oral sex, dry humping (frottage), vaginal or anal intercourse, mutual masturbation, and fisting.

Many lesbians have discovered the pleasures of strap-on sex. Strap ons are dildos designed to be worn in a harness, so that you can fuck your partner without having to hold the dildo in place. Strap-on dildosare characterized by a flared base, which secures the dildo in the harness and prevents it from popping through during rigorous sexual play! Harnesses come in array of styles and are fully adjustable, so you can get a secure fit, regardless of your body type.

Dildos, many made of premium silicone, are available in styles and colors to suit any desire, so whether you’re craving a curved toy for G-spot play or a graduated toy for anal play, you can rig up a strap-on dildo that’ll get the job done.

While anal beads will give the perfect anal penetration, anal probes can come handy to start a sex encounter.

Here are also some things to avoid if you want to keep your sex life alive and vibrant:

1. Get too clingy

Togetherness is good, but one pattern lesbian couples often fall into is spending too much time together. There’s an old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder!” Take time away from each other and develop your own interests. Give her reasons to continually find you stimulating.

2. Get too distant.

While some time away is good, don’t go overboard and get too distant. Be sure to make time for each other at least once a week. Plan date nights. Beware of falling into the routine of coming home, turning on the TV or computer and zoning out from each other.

3. Stop Having Sex

Okay, this might sound obvious, but if you don’t ever have sex, you’re not going to have a sex life. Make sex dates. Say yes to sex, even if you’re tired, have a headache or don’t feel in the mood from time to time. You might surprise yourself at how quickly you get in the mood or how the pleasure of that orgasm suddenly makes your headache go away!

4. Let body image issues get in the way

You may have put on a few pounds, grown a few grey hairs, added some wrinkles and aren’t feeling as sexy as you once did when you were younger. People can and do have healthy sex lives no matter their size, age or physical ability.

5. Predictable routine.

Routines are good for some thing, like getting your children ready for school and synchronized swimming, but in the bedroom a routine can make your sex life boring. Don’t’ be afraid to try new positions, new activities, new toys, new dirty talk, erotica or fantasies.

6. Contract a disease.

Although lesbians are at risk for sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, HPV and HIV, there seems to be less attention paid by lesbians to safer sex than in the gay male and heterosexual communities. A STD can not only kill your sex life, it can kill you. Protect yourself!

like many women:

Some lesbians have unsafe sex with men
Some lesbians inject drugs and share needles
Some lesbian sexual practices are risky.
Lesbians wanting to get pregnant face decisions about semen donors

[Via http://eroticdiva.wordpress.com]

Kelly Sunshine & Mindy Star from WebcamRoyalty.Com

2010-01-10T18:51:00.000+02:00

Check out this hot pic of Kelly Sunshine & Mindy Star from the WebcamRoyalty.Com Blog!

There are more pics from this set in the WebcamRoyalty.Com Members Only Forums.

WebcamRoyalty Forums offer free pics and vids, interviews, model interaction and much more!

You can see more of Kelly Sunshine & Mindy Star, plus more hotties on cam at: http://www.webcamroyalty.com

[Via http://webgirlnation.wordpress.com]

The women of West Hollywood.

2010-01-10T02:42:00.000+02:00

I live close to Brittany Murphy’s old home. It is a nice large house on one of the winding roads that climb the steep Hollywood hills. The house is on the North side of the Sunset strip and this is the posher side, the side you want to live, the side that says you have really made it. Of course if you do live there it doesn’t necessarily mean you earned the money to buy the place. There’s plenty of girlfriends, wives and husbands who are living there on the back of some one elses merit. Brittany Murphy’s widow, Simon Monjak is a good example of this.

Like me he is a Brit. Unlike me he is rather fat and swarthy. The rumors are that he is a con man. I cannot corroborate. He is credited for the story and as exec-producer of “Factory Girl” (Sienna Miller pic about Andy Warhol) Apparently he bullied his way into the production by claiming the producers had stolen his ‘original’ story and then threatening to sue. Rather than lose their investment the producers let him in.

There are also rumors that he dealt with procuring his wife with various drugs. Brittany had problems with class-A drugs, no doubt, she’d done rehab. If Monjack was her fixer it adds a terrible twist to the end of her life. Why didn’t he call the paramedics sooner?

She was a talented woman with a lot more to offer. RIP Brittany.

Monjack’s reaction to the death of his wife was strange. But I am sure he loved her. She was way out his league and he must know his best days are over. But Tina Tequila’s reaction to the death of her girlfriend Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson and Johnson pharmaceutical fortune is enough to make me cringe in my brogues. She has here greedy little eyes set on a promotion, or an elevation up the hill anyway.

Tina Tequila also lives near to me. But she is on the south side of the Sunset strip, slightly further down the hill. And that’s where she should be cos she is definitely on the wrong side of the tracks. Her TV show is a lesbian dating show. It made my toes curl and the insides of my stomach want to hit the far wall. In a European world we might have somehow managed to make the show something tasteful and still kept if fun. Here the show is lipstick lesbian fantasy prime time soft pornfor men. And Tina is the kind of trailer trash no brain person we need a lot more of on TV at any moment now.

Casey, her GF, it seems was a wild one anyway. But making publicity out of it shows Tina for what she really is.

Someone else who lives not far from here, but further up the hill than either of the other two is Joan Collins. I saw here twice in two days. The first time was in Hamburger Hamlet on Sunset and Doheny. She swept into the room and set it alight with her laughter and fun. And in a room full of old style Hollywood hacks that is an achievement. She was wearing a bright red coat and a smart white woolen hat. She was pure Dynasty and for a sucker like me who is in to old school celebs and manners it was a great spot. Celebrity safari wise…I’m not sure. Something slithe and sexy but a bit light weight. She also likes a bit of leopard print. So I’ll go Leopard. Quite rare and a dying breed.

The second time I saw her I was having a coffee in a shop on Sunset. An 80’s gold roller pulled up in front of me at the lights. By the time it had stopped swaying on it’s suspension I saw the passenger. She was wearing a lovely woolen hat. Her dresses were hanging over the back windows in dry cleaners bags. She was talking two to a dozen and waving her hands at the driver a large grey haired man who looked like he’d been tough once but now spends his time on the golf course and in the bar. T’was very surreal.

BTW Hamburger Hamlet, the Hamlet, is a good place to check out if you are visiting. In the day it was the Ivy or the Spago. Now it is a little sad and the food is fading. You need to sit in the

Judd Nelson on the Taproom

Taproom because the main area has lost its charm. But in its day Sinatra, Sammy David Jnr and Monroe ate in style. One person from the old days is still there. She’s the Maitre Dee a petite older lady who hands out tables like they are tickets to the Oscars. She’s seen a few things in her day. She was married to the late great Marvin Gaye.

[Via http://beverlyhillsjambo.wordpress.com]

My Music has Arrived, BC plug

2010-01-09T18:32:00.000+02:00

Having previously commented on how I was being sent You Created a Monster for free due to various circumstances, today I literally jumped on the bed at receiving it.

The mp3’s seemed to take, years to download but they finished, just, after a few short breathe of expectation they roared out proud from my glow in the dark speakers.

I’d take picture if I could but I don’t have a camera.

Basically, thank you Brontosaurus Chorus/Dom Green, you’ve made a man behave like a boy once more.

[Via http://waidey.wordpress.com]

Let the Sunshine in.

2010-01-09T02:32:00.000+02:00

For those who haven’t been paying attention recently there is currently a challenge to Prop 8 underway in the federal courts. Two very high-profile lawyers, Ted Olson (a conservative who argued for Bush in Bush v Gore) and David Boies (a liberal who argued for Gore in Bush v Gore), have brought Perry v Schwarzenegger to the Federal circuit and have rather successful kept out all the Gay, Inc. types who originally railed against them when they heard about the proceedings then decided to try to get on the bandwagon after it became inevitable that the case would go to trial. An interesting twist though is that under new federal regulations judges can decide whether or not to allow the trials in their courtrooms to be televised and the judge in this case, Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker, pondered the idea but decided to have taped but released on a delay on YouTube.

The stage is set and now all we need is some rightwinger to cry foul about how transparency is secretly a left-wing conspiracy to scare anti-gay bigots off the witness stand. Oh wait, that’s what Michelle Malkin is for:

I generally support more sunshine in all government proceedings. But the judge’s unusual method of securing video coverage is extremely troubling. This isn’t a sincere educational effort to provide transparency to the public. It’s a flagrant attempt at making Prop. 8 a show trial — and intimidating Prop. 8 backers who will be called to testify.

…

Former federal district judge Paul Cassell weighs in: “Without getting into the merits of Proposition 8 or the legal challenges to it, I agree with Whelan that it seems highly unusual for a judge to authorize televised proceedings for this particular case as part of some new “pilot” project to see how televised proceedings work. Surely if there were going to be a test run of a new idea, it should be in a more run-of-the-mill case rather than this particular highly controversial one. Moreover, it does appear that public comment process has been completely short-circuited.”

Indeed, the public comment process seems to have been wholly fixed in favor of anti-Prop. 8, nutroots-fueled feedback.

The MoveOn-backed left-wing group “Courage Campaign” conveniently coordinated an e-mail campaign backing Walker’s solicitation of public comment on his YouTube order. I’m on the group’s e-mail list and received this on Jan. 5:

…

The anti-Prop. 8 mob has its thumbs on the scales of justice. Brace for a courtroom circus.

So not only is this some sort of giant conspiracy between the judge and left-wing groups it’s also a show trial and a mob induced circus. Really?

Would a televised trial stop someone from testifying if they truly believed that gay marriage would be detrimental to society as a whole? Doubtful. Would a televised trial stop someone from testifying if they were a bigoted douchebag who justified their backwards views with dogma and biblical passages? Quite possibly.

Let’s be clear: the only reason conservatives are against having this trial televised is because it will put the incoherency of their arguments against gay marriage on display for all to see. You can’t play on peoples prejudices in a courtroom. You can’t lie about how gay marriage means kids will be forced to learn about man-on-man buttsex in school. You can’t cite scripture. You have to submit evidence and expert testimony and cogent arguments based on statutory and case law. Unfortunately for the Defense of Marriage types, they don’t have any of that.

What they do have is ignorance, hate and a religious-fueled desire to cast down anyone who doesn’t fit their ideal mold which doesn’t play too well in a court of law… Or on a television screen.

Cross posted at Can’t Win For Losing.

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

Boom Boom Brugge

2010-01-07T02:31:00.000+02:00

1/23/09

6-something P.M.

BRUGGE.

Got in yesterday-day after the train ride. The hostel is nice – much nicer than The White Tulip in the ‘Dam. This one is The Bauhaus. The bed isn’t more comfortable, but the blankets are. And cleaner. And friendlier. Not the blankets – the people. I’m drinking a beer with 8% alcohol right now…

So we got here, checked in, and immediately met Melissa from St. Louis and the crazy Brazilian girl. Cass, Nicole, and I walked around town a bit. Rainy. Cold. Went to the supermarket and got a salad, water, and pears. My body thanks me for the nutrients. Ate. Showered. Masturbated with the shower head. It’s hard to do because you have to constantly push the button on account of the water only staying on for ten seconds at a time. Got ready. Bridget, the 20-year-old Aussie, wanted to go out and dance. PERFECT. So, Bridget, Melissa, Cassidy, George (another Aussie – who has bad hair), Mel (the Canadian Army-girl – who is hilarious), and I did just that. Walked the crazy, confusing straats that change names randomly ’til we ended up at Cafe Pick. Boom, boom boom…

I swear, ALL of Brugge was in this bar. You couldn’t even move. Got a drink, saw a beautiful girl, and danced. Beautiful girl (BG) kept smiling at me. Cute boy comes up to me and asked me if I spoke French. I don’t. He told me in English that the butch girl with a mohawk and small boobs that he was with just got dumped and that I should go dance with her. Then I payed .30 Euro to pee. Jesus christ, I gotta pay to pee! I gave her .50 Euro.

I hopped up on stage and danced with Bridget. Then I danced with Mohawk/small boobs. Told Mohawk that I thought BG was beautiful. Mohawk told me that BG was straight. And seventeen.

I felt like a perv.

I danced with the girls anyway. There were six girls – all in the Dutch Navy. They taught me how to salute, and then we passed ice around to each other with our mouths. I got to kiss BG in a round-about way. The music thumped and our asses shook. There was a lot of American music mixed with cool Belgian shit. Good beats. They all told me their names. I remembered none of them. Kissed Bridget (or so I was told), kissed The Navy. They gave me cigarettes and bought me drinks. They made me feel like a rock star. “Everyone wants pict-cha wif youuuu!”, the blond non-English speaker spoke.

The coolest girl, H-something, and I talked and danced a lot. I gave the “thumbs-up-question-mark” to Melissa and Cass to make sure that they were alright. They were. Then Melissa and Bridget left. I said my goodbyes and kept dancing. I wasn’t ready to leave The Navy yet. I was having the most fun on this trip yet. And in Brugge! Who woulda thought?! I kept asking H-something if she wanted to make-out. She kept turning me down. They were getting ready to leave, and I knew H-something secretly wanted to kiss me, so I grabbed her and kissed her. It was really nice. Then I did it again. What a great night…

I exchanged e-mail addresses with H-something and BG. Got an e-mail from H-something today when I rented a laptop for 3 Euros an hour at the pub. Checked Myspace. Drank beer. Nicole is still sick. We’re just waiting for the “Happy-Dance Day.”

May go out tonight. Wanna check out the one-and-only gay bar in Brugge, but not sure yet. The wallet is getting sad, but Cass is up for it, so maybe I am too.

Threw away my digital camera last night. It’s dead. At least I have the memory card.

Paris tomorrow. Mel taught me something to say in French so the Parisians would like me: “Je shwa-zee Obama.” [I wrote it phonetically so I would remember how to say it.] It means, “I chose Obama.” The French aren’t fond of Americans.

[Via http://mightybishop.wordpress.com]

What the Heck Is A Derby Wife Anyway?

2010-01-03T18:02:00.000+02:00

“Um…is it a lesbian thing?” was my first thought when being introduced to the term derby wife. Now I just look back at that and laugh, probably like most of you are doing at me right this very moment, but come on let’s face it no one really explains these things to you at sign ups. I and most of the girls I know actually had to google it, because I mean google pretty much knows everything, right?

What came up was an actual explanation on the Roller Con website and because they say it better than I ever could, I am just going to let them do just that:

The tradition started in November 2003, when a load of Derby Dolls went to see the first AZRD bout and the derby wife concept was born.

Now, see, we Derby Dolls (and I imagine/KNOW a whole lot of the rest of you out there) really like to drink. Some of us have been a little further in the barrel than others, and some of us have done so on a 6 hour van trip to Phoenix. Well, my dear friend Evil E and I initiated both the world’s most ill-advised drinking contest and what was very likely the first verified pairing of derby “wives” called as such on that very trip. Yes, yes, a fifth of Jim Beam a piece is likely to not only be accompanied by many “I LOVE YOU, MAN!”s, and all kinds of wall-eyed hooey, but before those bottles got too empty we realized something.

A derby wife is quite simply this -

She is the one person in this whole sport of roller derby that the very instant you looked at her, you felt like you’d known her since you were a fetus. She looked just like your best friend from fifth grade, or something she did reminded you of all the things you ever liked in anyone else.

She is the first person you’d call if you ever need to get bailed out of jail. (Or in my case, ever need to have an entire legal crusade started in your name.)

She’s the one who will be holding back your hair when you puke after drinking too much, and she won’t let anyone take your picture while doing it.

She’ll ride in the ambulance with you when you lose a tooth, break your wrist, or tear your ACL.She’ll make you laugh the whole way to the hospital, try to steal your pain medication (lovingly), and sneak your favorite food and a beer into recovery.

She’ll make her actual husband understand that if he loves her, he’s gonna have to put up with you, too, no matter how many times you come over forcing him to revisit all the derby-related shows on his Tivo that you missed.

She may not even be your best friend in the league or the sport, but she’d be the one you know will be the first one to back you up, even if you’re dead wrong. She’ll just tell you you’ve lost your f#$king mind later in private, possibly kick your ass a little bit, and then be the only one who could ever talk your hotheaded ass into some reason.

If you can find more than one derby wife who can meet those needs, then you are lucky indeed, but myself? I’m a one derby wife gal.

And there you have it ladies! As for me, I’m staying single for awhile! How about you, who’s your derby wife? Do you have someone you really like and want to ask, but just haven’t yet? Any proposal stories you want to share with us? We’d love to hear from you.

[Via http://derbygirls.wordpress.com]

2009

2009-12-31T10:00:00.000+02:00

It’s nearing the end of the first decade of this millenium, and what better time now than to reflect on this year (and possibly years gone by).

I started this blog back in July. It was an opportunity to say and vent the feelings, perceptions and stories that I felt I couldn’t share anywhere else. However, London Girl has become a lot more than that.

You see, I thought I would just write and that would be it. I didn’t actually think I would learn from myself, or that I would revisit my old ramblings and gain insight. Yet I have. I’ve actually documented something quite special and powerful here – and at the time I didn’t even realise it.

This however, has been a long time coming. Let’s rewind a few years. 2004/5 – that’s a good year.

I was about fourteen/fifteen, and I became aware that I had feelings for my best friend of the time. She is straight – and I was ashamed. I’d always harboured feelings, and inclinations about my gayness, but I was never, ever comfortable about it. I was always worried and scared – scared that I would be outcasted, that my life would reach a new hell, one far worse than the one I was living in. More importantly, I was scared that one day I would pluck up the courage to do something about this crush I had.

It was at that point where I made a crucial decision – one which it wasn’t until this year that I have been able to begin to reverse. I would cease all communication with this friend. It was easier to not speak to her, and pretend that I hate her, that to maintain such a close friendship whilst not being able to be with her. Thus, for four years I didn’t speak to her.

Following our weird break-up, I maintained my “hetero” appearance. Well, I was crap at it… But I would hesitate and act out dislike when other female friends insisted on groping my arse or boobs (apparently they are gropable!) – in order to portray this fake image of myself. I wouldn’t get drunk in case I revealed something I didn’t want to be let-loose, and I lied to my friends and family.

Then comes 2009. Many have claimed that this year has been terrible; things have happened, or it’s not been as exciting as previous years – and coupled with the economic crisis which currently looms over us, things don’t seem to be improving that much. I would have to disagree though.

This year for me has been a year of great and enourmous change. I started off the year (posting on my public blog) about how I am shrouded in secrecy, and how I never, ever feel at ease. Everything I say and do is just a facade; and I can’t write openly, I can’t express myself because I feel so bottled up. It was a horrible feeling – one which I never want to have to return to. I wasn’t myself – I was a reflection of a distorted image. It was dangerous.

Then I came out. It was a rather slow, and in some ways – painful – experience. It wasn’t painful because anything bad happened as a consequence, but it was painful in that for the first time I felt internally happy. It was painful because I had to break down all of those wall and barriers which for so long harboured my true self – the one that for many years I couldn’t come to accept or admit.

I am however, extremely lucky to know the people I do. They’re a great bunch – and yes I do moan about them – but if it wasn’t for my friends, I don’t honestly think I would be in the position that I am now. Okay, I’m still hopelessly single; but they’ve given me the strength, understanding and freedom to be who I wanted to be. In the past I surrounded myself with the wrong sort. Y’know who I mean – the opinionated, the close-minded, and non-obliging people of the world. Thoroughly heterosexual, and more often than not – right-wing. They were good friends to me, but they weren’t supportive, nor were they open-minded. They couldn’t see past there own view or take on the world – and that only made things worse for me.

I now feel comfortable to be who I am. To be the person who I think as far back as I can remember, I always knew I was. I don’t feel ashamed any more.

Yet, I’ve gained all of this in just eight or nine months.

That is why 2009 has been a good year. Okay, my Summer was all-in-all, rubbish. My AS grades weren’t particularly wonderful either; and things aren’t exactly brilliant with home-life either… But for once I want to celebrate the positives of a year, instead of harnessing on all of the bad.

This year has been so life-changing. I’ve met knew people, I’ve found support, I’ve opened my mind. Even this time last year, if I were to count all of the people who I fancied or liked, it wouldn’t extend beyond five. Now that I am accepting, and more open… Well that number has greatly increased.

I know I still have some way to go. I need to overcome my mind, and I need to embrace who I want – or at least embark on a stronger mission to find someone I can call my own. But I’ve paved the foundations to make this possible. I’m out of the closet, I’m free, and I’m happy. But also, I can see the beauty in life and in people more readily than I previously had done.

So to everyone out there, I wish you a Happy New Year. I hope that this past year has been good for you too, and I wish that you too can focus on the positives that make all of our lives worthwhile. I hope that whatever problems, issues and personal missions you face, that you can overcome them, and learn to accept that our indivuality is the essence of mankind. Embrace who and what you are, and fear not being that person.

I would love to hear your stories of 2009, and so I’ve set up an anonymous posting form. Just type whatever you want in the box (absolutely anything), and all replies (unless you’ve elected otherwise) will be posted on a new page called FormSpring. Please post whatever you want here; it’s completely anonymous – think of it as telling a secret to a stranger!

[Via http://londongirlblog.wordpress.com]

The Bigger Picture

2009-12-31T02:47:00.000+02:00

So several hundred years ago Europeans decided to spread Christianity to subsaharan Africa and now the fruits of their labor and being born by gays through out the continent. A lot of newsprint has been spent on the upcoming Ugandan “kill teh gays” bill and how we and other developed countries should cut off aid due to that. Yet it’s also worth noting that a large swath of the Middle East already executes homosexuals and that doesn’t stop us from giving them huge amounts of cash.

If pictures are worth a thousand words then this map, from World Focus, should be worth at least a few brief news articles. Yet I doubt you’ll be seeing anyone pointing out that all the outrage focused on Uganda recently could just as easily be aimed at Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan or Somalia or Pakistan – all of whom receive foreign aid.

Cross-posted at Can’t Win For Losing

[Via http://queermerced.com]

One More Time....For 2009

2009-12-29T18:49:00.000+02:00

It’s the last installment of the hottest, gay, 18+ dance party in the valley for 2009 this Wednesday. Come out and start celebrating the new decade early and enjoy a packed dancefloor, drink specials and that awesome vibe that you can only get at Integration. This week we’ll also have some guest DJ’s in the house as I (DJ Binx) will be celebrating my birthday with all of you.

Come early to avoid the line. See you there!

[Via http://queerfresno.com]

Archbishop of York attacks Uganda's anti-gay bill

2009-12-24T18:48:00.000+02:00

From http://seattletimes.nwsource.com:

A top Anglican cleric who was born in Uganda spoke out Thursday against a proposed law in his native country that would impose the death penalty on some gays.

Archbishop of York John Sentamu – who along with the archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, is one of the global fellowship’s most senior priests – condemned the anti-gay law now being considered by the East African nation’s parliament.

“I’m opposed to the death sentence. I’m also not happy when you describe people in the kind of language you find in this … bill,” he told BBC radio.

Although Sentamu seemed to suggest he was the first to attack the proposed law, Williams has also spoken out against it, telling The Daily Telegraph earlier this month that it was “shocking in its severity.”

“Apart from invoking the death penalty, it makes pastoral care impossible – it seeks to turn pastors into informers,” he told the paper in an interview published Dec. 12.

The issue of homosexuality has triggered a debate that has divided the global 77 million-strong Anglican fellowship, including in the United States, where it has splintered the Episcopal Church.

In Thursday’s interview, Sentamu chose his words carefully, restating the content of a 2004 Anglican statement that condemned “the victimization or diminishment of human beings whose affections happen to be ordered towards people of the same sex.”

African churches have been at the forefront of the Anglican backlash against the blessings given to gay marriages and the ordination of gay bishops in the West. Uganda, whose population is nearly 40 percent Anglican, has become a rallying point for conservatives, with some U.S. Episcopal denominations switching their allegiance to the Church of Uganda following the 2003 ordination of openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson.

Sentamu said he and Williams had been in touch with his Anglican colleagues in Africa about the proposed law, which has aroused a storm of indignation worldwide. It is expected to go before parliament in the new year.

The bill would mandate a death sentence for sexually active gays living with HIV or in cases of same-sex rape. Anyone convicted of a homosexual act would face life imprisonment.

Uganda’s President Yoweri Museveni will not try to block the bill, his spokesman Tamale Mirundi said Thursday, although he did say the president would attempt to convince his National Resistance Movement Party, which has a majority in parliament, to not support it.

“President Museveni cannot block the anti-gays bill,” Mirundi said, saying that if he did so “he will have become a dictator.”

[Via http://nealbinnyc.wordpress.com]

Cab Ride in 300 Words

2009-12-22T18:07:00.000+02:00

Jaden led me by the hand outside to get a cab. We both slid into the back seat. I told the driver the name of the hotel, never taking my eyes from beautiful Jaden. She leaned over to kiss my mouth. Her lip gloss tasted sweet on my tongue. Without a glace towards the cab driver in the front, Jaden got on her knees on the back seat, swinging her leg over to straddle me. Her breasts were right in my face. I could smell the aroma of her conditioner as she flipped her long auburn hair behind her shoulder. Her hands moved behind my neck. Without thinking I slid both of my hands behind her smooth thighs and up under her dress. She sat down, bringing my hands to her bare ass. Jaden was not wearing any panties.

My eyes moved from her gorgeous breasts, barely contained by the neckline of her dress, up to her eyes. There I saw a twinkle of mischief that was blinked into rolling pleasure by her eyelids as I slid my middle finger down the middle of her ass, hooking it neatly into her already wet pussy. Keeping quiet for the driver, Jaden’s tongue snuck out to caress her lips. My finger stroked her wetness all the way to her clit and dipped inside her in turn. She gasped audibly as the driver of the cab applied the brakes, causing my finger to enter her to the knuckle. I felt her contract once wetly around my digit, then she was sliding off of me and out of the cab door. We had arrived at the hotel.

[Via http://chelseaquestion.wordpress.com]

Surely you Jest

2009-12-20T10:00:00.000+02:00

Caught me because the little girl guarding my heart fell asleep.

Sneaky you.

So attached. So soon?

Don’t play games with me.

I’ve heard it all before. Even said it a few times.

So soon?

I don’t want to believe you.

But I don’t have that nostalgic feeling of terrible things to come.

So it’s an opopanax that I welcome with an open heart. Or did I mean arms?

Atleast, when you stab me in those, it’ll heal quicker and less painfully.

According to you, it shouldn’t hurt at all.

“It won’t even sting,” you assure me.

Why?

Because the feeling’s mutual you say.

But, do you fabricate?

Only time will tell.

[Via http://teejayc.wordpress.com]

Expose

2009-12-19T02:23:00.000+02:00

Some of the transgender who attack us seem to think the women here and elsewhere who oppose the transgender lie are engaging in some kind of old-school activism. They want to believe that we are forming some competing movement, or other such nonsense. They like to apply labels like HBS or Taliban, create a faux fight between two arbitrary sides, shout and demean, and basically engage in the sort of politicking that they believe to have been responsible for their “success” in the 90’s. Of course they are wrong.

I basically have two aims with regard to the transgender business. One, I want to provide an alternative viewpoint to the TG dogma that confronts new transitioners as they begin their healing process. The sooner they clear that toxic mess, the sooner they can get through the process. The voice of real women who have come before you telling you that your senses are right about the TG and to stay away from them is a huge help.

In addition to speeding the process in the initial stages of transition, and assuaging guilt for believing your own senses about the sexual fetishists, by exposing the truth I hope to rob the transgender of new recruits. Not recruits from women like us, because we generally know the score and leave of our own accord. But recruits from “gender” philosophy such as the genderqueer who want to use it to challenge society’s rules. If they can see who their so-called allies really are, they may think twice about their priorities and allegiances. The truth is very ugly.

The vast majority of the TG are simply heterosexual transvestite men. And transvestism is tied closely with other, possibly more troublesome sexual behavior. What sets the “full time” transvestite apart from the garden variety crossdresser is that the sexual fetish they both share is that, for whatever reason, in the “transgender” transvestite it gets out of control. The reasons behind this are a subject that needs to be studied if these people are going to be helped.

In a past post I wrote about how I hoped for more research into GID, but not because I believe in “gender problems”. Nobody has “gender problems” as such. People like Ron Gold wrote his famous post on this, and indeed everyone in larger society understands this instinctively. So do the transgenders, in fact, and that is why they twist philosophy and turn logic on its head. Gender itself is merely shorthand for a variety of social phenomena; it can hardly be disordered.

The first myth that must be exposed is that surgery creates a transsexual. There are plenty of transvestites who get surgery, and in fact they make up the bulk of the “transsexuals” among the TG. The goal of this sleight-of-hand is to a) excuse their behavior and b) provide a path for the transvestite to live “full time as a woman”. In other words, ready access to their drug of choice. Getting surgery is how the “transgender transvestite” actualizes their fetish and makes it permanent and inescapable. I have to thank an anonymous source for explaining this aspect of the rather puzzling motivations of the “transgender transsexual”. I’m sure more detailed discoveries will be found as researchers delve into the mysteries surrounding fetish and exhibitionism in neurology.

I also believe it will be found that GID, at is called by puzzled researchers, is an amalgam of other already recognized problems, with the veneer of gender laid over the top. It has been suggested to me that the sexual high that transvestites receive from exposing themselves to the public in women’s clothing is like an addiction. And like any addict, they rage and fume when their drug is taken away, hence their attacks on women like us. It is not because we expose them for being men in dresses that they hate us. They do that to themselves all the time- but on their schedule. They want the control of where and when to do the “Gotcha!” moment and bask in the sexual glow, and anyone who would stand in the way of that must be destroyed.

That is why they rage against those who tell the truth about them. That is why they threaten to write an “expose”, their tried-and-true weapon against us- the threat to ruin our lives by trying to “out” us to our communities and destroy our womanhood.

The fact that they are willing to commit this act which, in their own parlance, puts us at risk for violence and death, simply for continued access to their sexual thrill is despicable. It illustrates perfectly just how unbalanced and aggressive they really are. How selfish. How male.

I and the other women here are no stranger to male violence. Cat has written quite a bit about her experiences with these people. And every woman who ever lived has felt the impact of male aggression in their lives, some with horrifying directness. That is why I write these things and put myself at risk in the face of these all too real threats against me. I care about women like me, who have gone through so much just to survive. We few who know the truth must stand up to the men who would abuse us.

We must tell them they cannot, they will not, silence our voices.

[Via http://ariablue.wordpress.com]

The Ex-Factor and the Holidays, Lesbian-Style

2009-12-17T01:41:00.000+02:00

That first holiday after you leave that girlfriend of seven or eight years, the one you expected to spend the rest of your life with, is bittersweet. If you’re like me, you left her only after you were on the verge of killing her. And no one really wants to find out if all the prison movies about bad girls incarcerated is true. So you leave, to keep from becoming a murderer. But that doesn’t mean you won’t miss her and particularly at the holidays.

Every couple does something good together, or you would never last out the first year. My ex-wife and I did the holidays well. For one month out of every year, we were truly the perfect couple that we longed to be the rest of the year. We wrapped gifts, hung stockings for the dogs, cat and each other. We decorated like crazy and we celebrated by eating delicious holiday food and by selecting really special gifts for each other, remembering all the sweetest little things that a lesser elf would have easily forgotten.

This year I am with a new elf of my choosing. Thank God she also loves the holidays. We are starting new traditions. I pray that she will be the one I spend the rest of my life with, as we put up the tree and sit mesmerized in front of it together holding hands and listening to our four dogs snoring all around us. She could not be more different than my ex in most ways, but I am grateful that she shares my enthusiasm for all things Christmas.

For me, the holidays are a wonderful time to spoil the people you love. I believe in fussing over everyone I care about. I’m not terribly religious, but I definitely believe that love drives my actions, and that’s all good. Plus, I can’t get enough of the lights and the music.

I’m wondering what I should do for my ex-wife. Part of me gets a little misty when I remember the past eight years we spent together. I’ve thought about calling her, but don’t know what I’d say exactly. She was angry when I left. We’ve been civil, but not terribly friendly since the breakup. I guess I want her to know I love her and want her to be happy. I also want her to know that I will never forget all the wonderful holidays we spent together and how special they were. And even though we’ve moved on, we can always take comfort in the fact that we shared many wonderful holidays together.

[Via http://lesbianwink.wordpress.com]

Dear Writer's Block; Its Personal! So I Ramble

2009-12-15T18:06:00.000+02:00

Serious case of writers block…

Aaaammmaazzinngg. I hate writers block

Words that I cant think of but words that lie on my brain.

Voice of Carrie Bradshaw “Try not to think about it.” you know? that shit sucks, cause when I don’t think about it, I REALLY don’t think about it and then I forget about it, then I forget the deadline, then when I remember the deadline it was yesterday. That damned writers block!

AAANNNND, Why can’t I be a lesbian columnists? Cause I don’t fall into that damned stereotype of wild nights partying at clubs in the city and fucking everything that moves! [nod, nod]

Okay. I’m just a boring dyke.

I don’t want to write “Adult” material anymore!!!! [stomp! Stomp! Folds arms and pouts] It’s sooo fucking redundant!

O, writers block, you’ve made it so hard for me. You’ve upset me and now I must rebel. [writing anyway]

[Via http://sabrinall.wordpress.com]

Labels are for cans. Not people

2009-12-15T01:54:00.000+02:00

Butch, lipstick lesbian, dyke, soft butch, pillow princess, stud, bulldyke

Do you identify with any of these labels? Or do you dislike when others try to confine you with one of these labels or others?

Labels are for cans. Not people. Labels are so confining and restrictive. Sometimes I think that labels make it easy for others to misrepresent who you are or at least make themselves comfortable with who they are.

So, will I put myself in a box for someone to check off? Nope.

[Via http://shalamajackson.wordpress.com]

I had a secret

2009-12-13T18:23:00.000+02:00

When I was almost 15 years old I became a Christian at Summer Madness, “Ireland’s largest Christian festival”. To give you some indication of what sort of religious experience this was- Andy Flan was singing Here I am to worship by Tim Hughes, I was standing with people I had never met, I’d lost my voice and I had my hands in the air. I was caught up, I knew everything. There was no doubt in my mind and I prayed the prayer…

Elsewhere at summer madness…. I was sharing a tent with my occasionally self loathing gay friend Christine and her then girlfriend.

Christine went on to dump the girlfriend (for ‘religious reasons’) at another Christian event the next February. At March mannafest that year 2 other friends decided to leave the church because they were gay.

I had a secret… When I had wee adolescent fantasies they were about girls… When I later started to read erotica online…. that was about girls too… and even later when I had a bit of a problem with porn… that was girls too.

I had a lot of trouble seeing how this little secret related to my real life. In real life I was meant to pretend to never to think about sex before I married a nice Christian boy and having nice Christian babies. In my secret life I would read lesbian erotica, think about girls I fancied and… well… ask God for forgiveness all the time and feel shit about myself.

I don’t know where I got the idea that being gay was wrong. I was surrounded by good influences… 2 of my primary school teachers were in a committed relationship and now an inspiring civil partnership, one of my ministers at that time was gay and a good friend from that time had just started going out with the love of his life and and although he was struggling with the church, he never thought that God didn’t love him.

I was deeply convicted of my ‘wrongness’ and that is a very uncomfortable place to be. It took a lot of undoing but I really believe that God loves me just as I am.

Read this…

[Via http://feelingchilly.wordpress.com]

jaybird practices.

2009-12-13T10:35:00.000+02:00

Tonight I can’t sleep, and tonight there is no poetry. I vowed that this evening I wouldn’t hide behind those kinds of words. You are a bearing witness to my stumbling mumbling rehearsal… at opening up.

A girl, (there’s always a girl biting her lip, saying things like honey, and please?) she claims I hide behind my words instead of telling her how I actually feel. So, I’ve decided (did I mention the lip biting?) to practice here occasionally.

She, here she’ll be Citrine, she haunts my writing, playing hiding and seek in my metaphors. (Our past is a sad story some night I’ll tell you.)

Our biggest problem is that she likes to fall asleep with me. She will curl up on my shoulder and sigh sleep breaths, but I fidget and squirm. I think of the drive in my cold car back to my own bed.

Don’t think me to be insensitive, it’s just I prefer to sleep alone

but I love waking up with someone. (Paradox rules my life.)

This is my ideal morning:

girl, morning sex, fall back asleep, pull on t tshirt and underwear, stumble to kitchen, coffee.

but this is my ideal night:

play guitar on my bed, scribble in my journal, read, sleep.

not

stare at ceiling, check cellphone clock every five minutes, get up to leave wake her up and she asks me to stay longer, repeat, freeze ass off in car, her hit every red light home, then immediately sleep because it’s so late.

If only I could have both.

Ok, so

now you know something about me. (I’m selfish.)

[Via http://mayjaybird.wordpress.com]

Fistgate: Obama chief 'knew' of 'disgusting' sex subjects

2009-12-10T18:13:00.000+02:00

This is OUTRAGIOUS!

Jennings was co-chairman of committee that set up statewide program

Posted: December 09, 2009

8:01 pm Eastern

By Bob Unruh

© 2009 WorldNetDaily

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following includes descriptions of adult themes and objectionable subject material.

Kevin Jennings at the 2000 conference

A pro-family organization is accusing President Obama’s Office of Safe Schools chief, Kevin Jennings, of knowing in advance the “gross and disgusting” subjects that would be covered at a seminar on sex for teenagers.

There have been multiple reports about a Massachusetts school seminar 10 years ago sponsored by the group Jennings founded, the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network, that included instructors providing explicit direction on homosexual activities, such as “fisting.”

The subject has been raised as a direct challenge to Jennings’ fitness to hold office, and as WND has reported, several dozen members of Congress have signed a letter to President Obama demanding his dismissal.

Now, Brian Camenker and Amy Contrada at Mass Resistance in Massachusetts have posted online audio recordings from the seminar, documenting discussions such as whether to “spit or swallow” during oral sex and how to accomplish “fisting.”Please cont reading story

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=118484

[Via http://randysright.wordpress.com]

New Jersey Nears Vote on Letting Gays Marry

2009-12-08T18:17:00.000+02:00

From: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/05/nyregion/05marriage.html

A petition in New Jersey signed by more than 2,300 Democratic officials, advocates and residents has helped sway members of the State Senate Judiciary Committee to call for a vote on a bill to legalizesame-sex marriage.But the bill has a long way to go, and recent votes against same-sex marriage in a Maine referendum and in the New York State Senate led opponents of the New Jersey measure to say that the political tide had turned against it.

Still, Senator Raymond J. Lesniak, a Democrat from Union County, said the petition, initiated by a small group of New Jersey Democrats, produced a strong “momentum change” for the bill after it had appeared to be stalled in recent weeks. Many prominent officials signed the petition, including Mayor Cory A. Booker of Newark; Ronald K. Chen, the state’s public advocate; and J. Frank Vespa-Papaleo, senior counsel to the New Jersey public advocate.

Mr. Lesniak is a member of the Judiciary Committee, which plans to vote on the bill on Monday. A large turnout for the vote is expected by those on both sides of the issue; gay couples are planning to testify about what they believe are shortcomings in the state’s civil union law, which was passed in 2006.

Mr. Lesniak predicted that the Judiciary Committee would pass the bill. The full Senate would probably consider the measure on Thursday, and Mr. Lesniak said the vote would be close. The Senate and the Assembly — where the bill is still in committee and no vote has been scheduled — are controlled by Democrats, but some do not support same-sex marriage, so Republican votes would be needed.

The timing is important because the current governor, Jon S. Corzine, a Democrat, supports same-sex marriage, while Christopher J. Christie, a Republican who will assume the office on Jan. 19, opposes it.

Assemblyman Reed Gusciora, a Democrat from Princeton who sponsored the bill in his chamber, said support had ebbed and flowed in recent weeks.

“Once people get over the election and what happened in New York,” he said, “I think it’s a matter of doing the right thing, and more members, as time progresses, will become less skittish.”

Senator Loretta Weinberg of Bergen County, Mr. Corzine’s running mate in the November election, said her colleagues should not fear for their jobs if they support the bill, which she sponsored.

“I understand some of our legislators have profound religious feelings about this, and I respect that,” she said. “I have less patience with those who somehow perceive there is a risk in voting for this. There is no risk.”

Mr. Gusciora said a same-sex marriage measure had a better chance of passing than it did in New York. “New York is two different states, New York City and upstate New York,” he said. “We’re still the progressive suburbs of Philadelphia and New York City. I believe we’re a more progressive state.”

Still, opponents are mobilizing to block the measure. The New Jersey Catholic Conference helped deliver about 156,000 signatures asking legislators to enforce the civil union law instead of approving same-sex marriage.

Len Deo, president of the New Jersey Family Policy Council, a research group, said his organization believed it would be wrong to change the definition of marriage to aid what it said was a tiny portion of the state’s population, based on the 8,340 people in civil unions out of a population of 8.6 million.

“In 31 of 31 states, with Maine being the most recent, people have decided that marriage should remain the union of one man and one woman,” Mr. Deo said.

Mr. Gusciora said some Republicans had said they would support the bill. And Mr. Lesniak said: “Those who are opposed to this are not hateful, but they give safe haven to people who are hateful. If we pass this law, those people who are bigots, who are homophobes, will no longer have that safe haven.”

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: December 8, 2009

An article on Saturday about the scheduling of a vote by the New Jersey Senate Judiciary Committee on a same-sex marriage bill after a petition campaign referred incompletely to the petition, using information from the bill’s advocates. Although it was eventually circulated by the Progressive Change Campaign Committee, a liberal advocacy group based in Washington, the effort was initiated by a small group of New Jersey Democrats. The article also gave an outdated title for J. Frank Vespa-Papaleo, one of the petition signers. He is now senior counsel to the New Jersey public advocate; he is no longer director of the state’s Division on Civil Rights.

[Via http://nealbinnyc.wordpress.com]

Lesbian Bishop for LA

2009-12-06T10:27:00.000+02:00

The Espiscopol Diocese of Los Angeles has elected The Rev. Mary Glasspool, 55, as an assistant Bishop on Saturday (Read Associated Press article). She is the second openly gay bishop to be elected by the US branch of the Anglican church. The appointment of the first, Bishop Gene Robinson, in 2003 caused divisions in the Church worldwide that have still not healed. This isn’t something I thought I’d hear myself saying, but hurrah for the US Episcopol Church. They are standing by their selection, in the face of criticism from Anglicans worldwide. In July, the Episcopal General Convention effectively lifted a moratorium on electing another gay bishop which had been asked for by Anglican leaders seeking to prevent a permanent break in the communion.

Her election must still be approved by the national church. Let’s hope the Episcopol Church keep their faith in her and their support for same sex couples. Many in the church, worldwide, are still struggling to accept female clergy, let alone a lesbian bishop. Surely, as the members of the Church who voted for her in LA seem to realise, in the name of reaching out to the wider community, someone like The Rev. Mary Glasspool is a perfect candidate. Surely she will draw people back to the Church who feel disconnected. I’m not religious myself but I know there are a lot of gay men and women who long for acceptance by the Church whose fundamental beliefs they share.

But religion and logic don’t often go together. I’m not arguing that faith should always be altered and adapted to fit everyone’s lifestyle. Clearly that’s not the point of religion. But if we’re all God’s creatures and Jesus forgives everything, why is there any controversy?

Yahoo News reports that polls show growing acceptance of queer people in the US. Yet at the same time there is growing religious consternation. The appointment of Bishop Gene Robinson led to the formation of a breakaway Anglican church – The Anglican Church in North America, who don’t approve of gay bishops. The Mormon Church, and others, still see homosexuality as a sin. It seems that loving thy queer neighbour is all well and good, providing they know their place and don’t, say, become a bishop, or join the army. Or heaven forbid, want to marry.

And lest we should think that this happening in LA means that she stands a good chance of being accepted in her position, remember that it was in California that Proposition 8 was approved in 2008, effectively making illegal the marriages between many loving gay couples.

I suppose my question, really, is when will this not be a news story? When will people religious and otherwise just accept that we are not all the same? Chances are God, if he exists, loves us all.

[Via http://rebeccasb.wordpress.com]

Cheating

2009-12-05T17:53:00.000+02:00

I hate for my first blog to be on this subject… but it’s relevant to our world right now.

If you have even come close to a news channel or website you would have seen alot about cheating lately. Of course cheating is all over the news, radio, and internet. A lot of celebs are cheating lately… Tiger Woods, Jude Law, and Eric Benet (and how could you cheat on Halle Berry??). Even politicians are cheating all over that place. But as we look at those who make the news, we have to look at the rest of society.

I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day, and she talked about how a friend of hers admits he doesn’t know a guy who hasn’t cheated. That’s kind of scary for all you straight girls or gay guys out there. However, society likes to pretend only guys cheat. That’s definitely not true. Women are just as guilty of cheating and probably just as often. From my experience with girls I’ve dated, girls my girlfriend dated in the past, and girls other girls/guys I know have dated, there is just as much cheating in the female lifestyle.

So what makes people cheat? I don’t claim to know the answer, but I have opinions. Part of it is a lack of respect for the person you are with and your relationship. If you must sleep or be with this other person, break your current relationship off. I am sure your significant other will appreciate the honesty. It also shows a lack of character. You are hurting the person you claim to love and you promised to be faithful to. That is such a lack of dishonesty on your part. I can go on forever, but I don’t want this to turn into a rant. I could really go on forever I feel so strongly about this subject. I’ll end here, however, and let you leave your own comment.

[Via http://lovealwaysjill.wordpress.com]

Double the Tenderness

2009-12-05T02:36:00.000+02:00

I have not been drawing much lately, so I’ve posted a favourite piece from my first blog series in 2006. This image was drawn from a photograph I found on a porn site that I thought was quite tender in spite of everything else it was surrounded by… like a little candle in the darkness, standing out from the rest with its cosy gentleness.

I wanted to put it up today to honour my friends with same-sex partners… whether they call themselves “gay”, “queer”, “homosexual”, “lesbians”, or just plain old “lovers”… it doesn’t matter. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Personally, I’m not much for labels… people are all people and deserve to be treated as fully human…

The male body image photo project I’m working on has put me in contact with straight men, gay men, and even some transgendered men… and some men who dress as women. I went to a club in the gay village a couple of weeks ago to see one of our models for the EXPOSURE project dance on stage during a contest to chose a “Miss —” of the season for the club. I went with my good friend and artistic-partner in this project, another woman, and at first, we were the only females in the whole place. We sat close to the stage and watched the place literally fill up (on a Wednesday night!) before the show started, and the actual show, put on by lovely dressed-as-women-dancing men, was alot of fun to watch.

But I must admit that there was a sideshow that was equally fascinating, and both of us couldn’t keep our eyes off of it. From the moment we walked in until the time we left almost 2 hours later, there was a couple off to the side of the stage, a ways away against a wall, that were making out. Really making out. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen two men kissing before, and the passion and the tenderness they were putting into it was quite moving to see. And they didn’t stop! We both wondered why they would do this in public, if it was a thrill for them to be seen, or if they were completely oblivious to everyone and everything around them in the noisy bar. It was quite a show. They were sitting in front of a pinkish wall that was illuminated from behind, so they were silhouetted very clearly, and although the place was packed for the show, no one ever blocked the view between us and them. Honestly, I was quite touched to watch them kiss and caress each other; it was very, very sensual (and they were both beautiful, young, shapely men). I didn’t even feel a twinge of discomfort or judgement, just interest, and emotion.

In my rather heterosexual lifetime, I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to explore another woman’s body; which was very much like meeting myself “in the flesh”. It was not an ongoing, intimate relationship, but a close friend who agreed to enter into this sacred space with me to learn more about ourselves and each other, and to honour ourselves as women…. which truly, seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do at the time, and for which I am very grateful. Perhaps allowing that line to blur for myself has made me more accepting of what other people feel or choose, or simply are… honestly, imperfect as we all are who is anyone else to judge what people choose or feel pushed to experience?

Years ago when I was separating from my husband, a friend of my was also leaving her husband, because she had met and fallen in love with a woman. I was close to her, and to him, and I watched helplessly as they struggled to make this break and adjustment as care-fully and lovingly as possible, but naturally fears were stirred up and egos were bruised in the process. From the sidelines, I was anxious to see it all blow over and for them to remain friends, for everyone to fully accept, and understand the others’ needs and position. To me, there was no apparent deception, no hiding, no lie… the truth was simply that she had fallen in love with another PERSON who touched her deeply and just happens to be female too.

[Via http://victoriassexblog.wordpress.com]

Playhouse Merced is doing It's a Wonderful Life!

2009-12-03T02:22:00.000+02:00

Location:

Playhouse Merced Black Box Theatre

Merced, California 95340

When: December 14, 2009

Starts at: 2:00 PM

Description:

By Philip Grecian; Based on the film by Frank Capra

The holiday season is a perfect time to join together with family and embrace the truly important things in life. This December, Playhouse Merced will be offering It’s A Wonderful Life: The Radio Play in it’s Black Box Theatre. Set in a radio studio, the audience will have a perfect chance to see and hear this beloved holiday classic that tells the story of George Baily and his guardian angel, Clarence.

For Family Packages, Dinner Packages and Group Rates (15+), please call the box office at (209) 725-8587.

Student (with valid student ID) – $10.00

Child (5-12) – $8.00

Adult – $15.00

[Via http://queermerced.com]

Today is world HIV/AIDS awareness day!

2009-12-01T10:38:00.000+02:00

Today is world HIV/AIDS awareness day! Go and get tested with friends, family, or your partner and know your status! Today is also a day to remember our loved ones who lost a fichting battle with the illness and those who are fighting that battle as we speak. The LGBT community stands behind you 100%! Remember, knowing is beautiful!

[Via http://thefemmeapr.com]

Necessity of a queer community

2009-11-30T20:44:00.000+02:00

I came out at age 17. Until that point I never really questioned my sexual orientation. There were no all girl band posters hung on my walls. I didn’t dream about beautiful women from the silver screen (that I remember). All I knew was that suddenly I had fallen in love – and it happened to be with a girl. I actually denied the relationship and the true nature of my feelings to family, friends, and even myself for the first few months of our relationship. Eventually, all those around me knew I was gay and dating a girl (who happened to be the most outspoken lesbian in the school – try being straight dating her!).

It wasn’t until I entered college that I was comfortable labeling myself as lesbian. I still held the belief that I may not be strictly gay or straight, more that I was just a girl looking for love. However, I felt the pressure from the queer community to declare myself, and so I did. I never really thought much about it, just sort of seemed like the next step in my coming out process. With my declaration of my orientation, I was immediately accepted by the queer community. I attended GSA meetings (an org I helped found at my high school) and made friends solely through a queer connection. The more time that I spent around my new friends the more I realized how much of a family I had discovered. These people were open, sexual, hilarious, caring, pompous, shy, and just about everything you could ever wish for in friends. I felt extremely lucky to have found this wonderful amalgam that accepted everything I had to offer.

In the coming years, we all started going our separate ways; graduate school, work, family obligations. I was slowly but surely losing my queer family. We have kept in contact, and I have welcomed new members of the community into our social circle, but I can’t help but feel a loss. After determining that I needed to try and find this connection outside the queer world, I went in search of old friends I had lost some connection with. However, the more time spent surrounded by a heterosexually dominated group, the more I knew that I belonged with queers. There is less need to make excuses for the things you say. There is no need to skirt around saying my boyfriend/girlfriend. There is a mutual understanding of the things you have had to overcome in your life. We are all connected in one way or another. Sure, I am connected to my hetero friends as well, but as someone who focuses on LGBT advocacy and queer politics, I am better acquainted with my queer brethren.

So, I sit here today, a semi-happy, queer femme in purple converse listening to Madonna who is just pleased to have finally found the community that makes me feel valuable and complete. And for today, that’ll do.

[Via http://capitolfemme.wordpress.com]

Relationship Advice

2009-11-28T01:55:00.000+02:00

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I’m still under a turkey induced coma. So here’s Dan Savage on how to maintain a long-term relationship.

My favorite line: “People who buy dairy cows and do not milk them can be arrested on animal cruelty charges. People who acquire husbands and boyfriends and do not keep their balls drained should be arrested on animal cruelty charges.”

It’s probably not safe for work so watch it after the jump.

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

Gay Man Sentenced to Life for Pedophilia

2009-11-26T01:24:00.000+02:00

James Rennie, Chief Executive for the LGBT Youth in Scotland and adviser to the Scottish government on issues of homosexuality and children, has been convicted of being one of the leaders of a pedophilia ring. He also molested the children of his friends and even videotaped himself molesting an infant. He has been sentenced to life in prison, which in Scotland seems to work out to just 13 years. Unbelievable!

The gay/lesbian community doesn’t like giving any kind of a spotlight to stories involving the molestation of children by one of their own, believing that doing so will only give more ammunition to the anti-gay forces. But it is the LG community’s ambivalent stance on sex with underage boys (and girls) and its on again/off again relationship with NAMBLA that causes real harm in achieving equality for lesbians and gays.

We should be shouting from the roof tops our unequivocal condemnation of pedophilia instead of pretending the issue is irrelevant. This is my shout!

Here’s the story link:

http://www.edgeunitedstates.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=98671

[Via http://lesbianoutsider.wordpress.com]

It bothers me

2009-11-24T18:45:00.000+02:00

That I am so obsessed with Bejeweled Blitz. Maybe it’s the beautiful clinking sounds like a toast is about to be made, or it could be the loud explosions when one of the special gems blow up; or perhaps it’s just my innate competitive nature that I must be 1st in the online tournament with my friends.

I was in first. Now I’m in 3rd. This makes me mad. So in an effort to raise my score, I have been playing this game ALL THE TIME–at stop lights, between study breaks, during class (art history mind you), and even going UP AND DOWN STAIRS.

I fear this will interfere with my work, but until it actually does…I’ll keep playing.

in other news..

I went to Houston this weekend, and it was absolutely FANTASTIC. I got there about 2 pm, and Stephanie and I just chilled for a majority of the time. We laid in her bed and talked (just talked) and chilled. We didn’t do much of anything until we were hungry. This is when we decided to go to KFC. Afterwards, we went back to her grandpa’s house and waited for her best friend Matt to get there. Matt is a really chill gay guy. I mention that he’s gay not because I am or that I really care, but 99% of the time I strongly dislike gay guys. They’re most of the time way too dramatic, and I just don’t fly with that. Anyway, Matt gained even more brownie points by suggesting hookah that night. We found this place downtown, and we had to pay the security to let us in (we were under 21). I must say, it was the best hookah I’d ever had. Seriously, it hands down kicked every San Antonio hookah bar EVER.

It was about 11-1130 when Stephanie and Matt both thought it’d be funny to take me to my first porn shop. Upon arriving, I turned beat red and didn’t know what to do with myself. They both had a good laugh at my expense, but seriously…it was awkward, haha. I have to say though…the store was really brightly lit, and I didn’t feel as if I were some dirt old bastard. So, that…was the upside. The downside was that I didn’t know what I was doing. I just kept my hands to myself and just looked around. Finally we left about midnight, maybe 1230, and we get into my car–she won’t start. For some reason my key won’t turn in the ignition. Stephanie was driving Becca (my car, yes…I named my car), and so I didn’t know what happened. I knew that at some points my car will just refuse to turn with the key, but on the off occasions it would be because the steering wheel was locked. After about 10-15 minutes of trying to start Becca and even thumbing through the manual, I noticed that infact the steering wheel was locked. Once Becca greeted us with a friendly chuckle, we all drove to Jack in the Box then back to Stephanie’s.

By this time it was about 1 in the morning. I changed my clothes and was ready to crash (I’d been up since 6 am). I stayed up with Matt and Stephanie only a little while as they talked with Stephanie’s Papa. Soon after we all got into Steph’s room and started talking, listening to music, and what-have-you. I fell asleep almost instantly, but I overheard Stephanie tell Matt endearingly that I am the fastest sleeper in the whole world (it’s true).

Around 4 AM the three of us were uncomfortable sleeping in one full sized bed, and so Matt moved to Steph’s papa’s room, as he was out duck/dove hunting. I woke up for about an hour and talked to Steph until I finally fell back to sleep.

Saturday: we woke up around 1 pm. Matt started hounding Stephanie to get up so we could all go to the zoo! Around 2 we all got out of bed, and I started the domino effect by taking a quick shower and getting dressed. About an hour later, we all on our way out to the Houston Zoo! We stayed there for a couple of hours. Stephanie got attacked and eaten by mosquitos. Afterwards we went out to eat, got some tequila, margarita mix, and had ourselves a fine evening.

I must say that I’m pleasantly surprized on how well this relationship is going (thus far). there have been no crazy arguments, crazy demands, expectations, or anything of the sort. It’s easy. It’s natural. It’s right.

This thanksgiving we’re frying TWO turkeys, AND my favorite aunt and uncle are coming in town. It shall be fantastic and amazing. I’m working the next few days, right up until Wednesday to help prepare the store for black friday. I’ll be making about 30 hours this week. Can we say, money in the bank? I think so.

It has also been decided that I’ll be going back to UTSA this spring. I’ll talk all about that in my next post. I’ve got 2 tests I must take TOMORROW. I better get to studying.

[Via http://katiedawson.wordpress.com]

I Kissed A Girl...And I Wanna Do More

2009-11-21T18:00:00.000+02:00

Like Katy Perry, and probably many of you, I kissed a girl. And I liked it. More than once.

Most times it was the result of inebriation and the desperate urging of one of my horny guy friends at a party. But regardless how I got there, I’m always surprised by how pleasantly different it feels to kiss a girl than a guy. I guess the whole thing just feels softer and slower, and usually tastes better (like cherry chapstick?). You get smooth, pillowy lips as compared to thin, chapped ones. There’s no stubble. And with girls, tongue action is more equal, as opposed to some guys’ tendency to overpower your mouth.

Lately I’ve been wondering if kissing a girl is so different, what would having sex with a girl be like? The thought has left me awake at night with lots of questions, confusion and curiosity. When it comes to trying out the other team, there’s just so much to consider…

First of all, what does that make me?

I’m very, totally and extremely certain that I’m not gay (just ask one of the guys I’m dating). But I’m definitely not 100% straight if I’m thinking about girls this way, right? Bi-curious would probably be the best term to describe me and that’s totally fine. Actually, I think I read somewhere that most people fall in the middle on the Kinsey Scale of sexuality. There are definitely more bi-sexuals sitting among us in lecture than we think there are and, in my opinion, they’re get the best of both worlds!

How would this work?

And what am I getting myself into, exactly? What constitutes sex with a girl? Is it just oral sex? Are there tools required? Which one of us would make the moves? I wouldn’t really know what to do if I found myself in bed with another girl (although I’m sure Captain Morgan would help me out a bit). I’m not up to speed on lesbian sexual politics, and I’m not sure how I can learn. One piece of wisdom I have acquired (from my gay male friends) is that oftentimes, lesbians don’t like to mess around with girls who are bi-curious, on the fence, experimenting, etc., because they assume that when things start to migrate down south, they’ll just chicken out, reject them, and run away to the safe familiarity of a peen. I totally get that. But if gay girls don’t want to get involved with me, how am I supposed to DO this?! Which leads me to…

Where am I supposed to find a lady?

It might be easy to find sexually open-minded people at smaller, liberal arts colleges where there is a higher population of gay students. But at my school, I don’t really know where to start looking among the thousands of undergrads. Where are all the bi-curious girls? I should probably start going to Rainbow Alliance/LGBT meetings more often and try to make friends. And I guess I’ll just have to be extra alert at parties and see if I can re-wire my Gaydar to pick up on signals from girls, too. Flirting with girls at parties will probably have to happen too, but I’m still emotionally scarred from the last time I tried to do that…

But even with all those questions, why not try it?

I just feel like the time is now to try this out. It’s practically expected for people to experiment in college, and I’m ready to go. The last thing I want is to wake up one morning in twenty years next to my snoring, scruffy husband and wish that I had explored another option when it was more socially acceptable.

If only it were as easy as it sounds.

Is anybody else going through this or know someone who is?

[Via http://collegecandy.com]

Natalie Portman's 'Extreme' Lesbian Scene

2009-11-21T01:54:00.000+02:00

Portman is one of the hottest actresses around. She’s smart, sexy and a damn good actress, so of course I wanted to check out her spread in V magazine. She talks about her new movie called Black Swan where she’s got a sexual scene with none other than actress Mila Kunis, 26-years-old.

Natalie Portman plays a veteran ballerina who competes with rival dancer played by That 70’s Show actress Mila Kunis. I never thought 28-year-old Natalie would do something like this, but after watching her performance in Closer, I guess I’m not that surprised. Something tells me the lesbian scene is what’s going to bring in the peeps to watch this flick.

The 28-year-old also revealed that she had refused to strip off in the past because she was working out her own sexual identity.

‘It’s weird to be doing stuff on film as you’re figuring it out,’ she told V magazine. ‘Also, being a sexual object when you’re a kid is really uncomfortable.’

Read the full interview at www.vmagazine.com

To tide you over, dear readers...

2009-11-19T18:16:00.000+02:00

Until I have finished this horrendous paper on microcredit and have time to write a scathing expose on events of the past two weeks, I present you with another installation of DREAM JOURNAL:

Last night I had some crazy dreams. This could have had something to do with a) the fact I did NOT eat a 1lb bag of peppermint patties before bed (per usual) or b) that my sleep schedule has been seriously out of whack the past few days. REGARDLESS, below is a sampling of my dreams:

1. ChefHooles came into my room wearing running gear and perfect going out makeup. I asked her if she was going for a run, and she said that she was going to go running TO a party and that she had already stashed a change of clothes in the bushes outside the Blue House to change into before said party. I was confused and asked her to clarify, she told me that I was stupid.

2. I made a mixed drink of whiskey and gin and chugged it. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I think it’s a fair assumption I probably made an ass out of myself.

3. That I was told by a significant other that we could not stay together because I refused to convert to paganism. Er?

Menschen Kinder Herr

2009-11-19T02:19:00.000+02:00

I really don’t want kids, but if I could without a doubt I could have a child just like this one, I would have two of them:

10 Year Old Boy Won’t Pledge Allegiance Because Gays/Lesbians Don’t Have Liberty & Justice

He’s so smart, so well spoken and cute as a button. But everyone agree’s if I ever have a child it’s going to be like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. Too smart for his own good, big imagination and constantly in trouble. Constantly.

Today before Dutchess went home, we went and did a bit of shopping. Went back to the pet shop to play with the puppies again. I really want one, but Pickles would eat it for lunch. Also, I found a few items to give as favours for my SCA stuff. Look how cute they are:

Wooden Critters

There’s a bear, a camel, pig and a cow. The cow even has a wooden utter. There were more, I wanted the sheep but the wooly bit was dirty and the others had plastic on ‘em. But these were great. They have a little logo under them all, so I’m wondering if I can sand it off. So cute. :)

You just haaad to kiss her

2009-11-17T18:25:00.000+02:00

And just when you think things are going totally great… you kiss her on the street at 2AM.

I don’t know if I mentioned that the girl I’m sleeping with is also my teacher. Well, she is. Fortunately, that hasn’t ever been an issue, and her class is BRILLIANT, and would have been just as much had I not been undressing her in my mind during class occasionally. I learned an incredible amount from my peers and she opened me up to a new way of singing and acting that blew my fucking mind.

We all went out for a drink after the last class, & this woman and I (plus my roommate/bff S) got high. I know my limits, I know to be good in front of people & not make an ass out of myself. This girl is no dumbass. We had a fabulous time laughing and extolling each other’s virtues.

It was time to leave, S and I walked out w/my teacher & one of my peers, and they walk us two to the train station where we said our goodbyes. My teacher gives me a hug and an obvious kiss lean-in, which surprises me, but I go for it- why not, I’m fucked up and it’s 2 in the morning. Generally, I’m not the kiss-in-front-of-people type, but she wasn’t stopping me & I certainly wasn’t pushing her.

But an hour later, my answering machine said otherwise.

Apparently I was being too pushy. I initiated it all, and it made her uncomfortable but she didn’t want to pull away (mind you, she full on MADE OUT with me on the street. There were like… 6 times she could have pulled away, easy) and make me feel badly.

I’m not sure what to say b/c I’m completely flabbergasted by the way that she has been able to manipulate the entire event into being my fault entirely. Certainly I take some of the blame– maybe I did read her completely wrong! But, if I did, wouldn’t she have just stopped it after one little kiss, hugged me and pulled away? Because I certainly don’t deserve to have the ‘that made me uncomfortable’ speech, which usually I have to give. She’s not my girlfriend, I know that. It was a strange, overly-intoxicated situation. I know that too. I certainly am willing to take… even 65% of the blame. But the fact that she can completely wash her hands of it and make ME feel like the asshole is making me REEEL right now. The nice/appropriate/mature way to handle that is to say, ‘you felt funny about that too, right? okay, as long as we’re both clear that that wasn’t what we want to do at 2AM with other people around.’

Again, it’s the assumption that I am not-aware, the assumption that I am immature and therefore irresponsible. Fuck that, I am a damn adult who was as surprised by her kiss as she was by mine. I actually said to S as I was walking away, ‘uhm. So that was surprise. Sorry.’

And only women do this. Men aren’t manipulative in this way. But women, and specifically this woman, is neurotic in a way I’ve never experienced before… And until I got that phone message, I was in a really good place with her (thinking we’d just blow that stupid thing off), saying how amazing she was, really giving her all this positive energy.

So much for that.

Fortunately I have a brilliant and beautiful roommate who talked me down to a human level after I started screaming about this. We made a beautiful pasta dinner at 3:30AM and watched classic Friends episodes before passing out.

And I have to remember that the right one is going to treat me right. Whether I like this woman or not (which I do. She’s beautiful, talented, evolved, and a total genius/disaster), if she’s not going to treat me with the respect I deserve, it’s a really good thing she’s not my girlfriend.

here's why it's important to be nice to people everyday

2009-11-17T02:29:00.000+02:00

b/c you never know what’s going on behind someone’s eyes. the person you have some random, fleeting contact with some random day could be having the very worst day of his or her life. something kind that you do for that person, even just something really small, something you don’t even notice you did, could brighten that person’s day like you wouldn’t believe.

not to harp on the oh-woe-is-us, our-neighbor-died-weeks-ago-and-now-our-house-stinks-and-we’re-traumatized [b/c, to be fair, as i mentioned, the smell is lifting (altho today was kind of a doozie, since it warmed up outside, hence warming up his air-tight house, which, in turn, passed more foul-smelling death air into our house...but i digress)] but last week, as you know, was bad. in fact, i never felt so terrible in my life. never. i felt horrified. i felt sad. i felt sick and violated somehow. and overwhelmed. and out of control. (and honestly, without sharing w/you on this blog, i think i would have felt even worse.)

there were three times during last week’s really dark days when my mood was lifted. and all three times had to do with some random person being kind to me/us. i think they all happened wednesday and thursday. wednesday night was our first night sleeping back at our house. after a horrible sleep spent breathing nasty air and having bad dreams, we woke with a start. or i did, at least.

“oh my GOSH, honey,” i said. “it’s trash day. i think i hear the truck!”

we threw on clothes and sneakers (well, sneakers for me, slippers for holly) and ran downstairs. i made it to the back door, trashbags in hand, just as the green garbage truck was beeping its way out of the alley. since baltimore–low on funds, like everyone else, i suppose–switched to once-a-week trash, trashday, thursday, is big in our household. it’s probably big in every household around here. if we miss it, we’re absolutely screwed. we don’t have a garage. and storing trash bags outside isn’t an option b/c of all the rats.

“maybe you can catch them!” holly shouted as i ran out the door in the pouring rain. “hurry, babe! catch them! call out to them!”

so there i was, carrying three trashbags, stomping thru the sopping wet yard trying to avoid potential feral cat crap landmines–oh and rat turds, gotta love those–my hair an absolute early-morning disaster. lord knows what i was even wearing. i think a jean jacket over my pajamas. and white sneaks. i ran thru the yard (it’s not all that big, but i still had to run) and swung open the gate.

“wait!” i shouted, sounding–and looking–pretty desperate, i’d say. “wait! i have…i have…”

the truck continued backing up and beeping the way big trucks do, into the street. i stood in the alley and put down my arms, defeated.

“trash,” i said, dejected. i walked back into the yard, my head down.

suddenly i heard something. it was the trashman! he had walked back from the truck into the alley adn then into our yard (!!!) to get my trash. i was in disbelief. he was like…an angel. in the form of a garbage man. a garbage man angel in a yellow raincoat.

“you came back!” i said.

he smiled. “do you want me to get that stuff, too?” he said, pointing to our bags (and bags and bags) of recycling.

“no, that’s ok. it’s all recycling. we’ll put it out tuesday.”

“you sure?” he asked, loudly over the sound of the nearby truck. “b/c i can take it now if you want.”

i was flabbergasted. he was so friendly and it was so nice of him to come back. plus i looked crazy and wet, and it was brave of him to even talk to me.

“no that’s ok. but thank you!! oh my gosh, thank you for coming back. that was so nice of you. and we really needed it today. thank you.”

no problem, he said.

the day before. on wednesday, veteran’s day, we went to our local safeway to buy odor-controlling supplies. like baking soda (didn’t work), air fresheners (didn’t work), etc. i was feeling pretty much my lowest. it was shortly after we realized our house was smelling even worse than it did last sunday, the day they found our neighbor’s body. i think my face was still swollen from crying like a crazyperson on our stoop.

as we were walking in, there was a safeway employee selling hot dogs outside. they usually do that for charity, i think, and usually in the summer. it was cold for a change (as in: november weather. not this weird stuff we have going on right now) and if i were her, standing in the cold and just barely out of the rain, i don’t think i would have been so chirpy.

“happy veteran’s day, ladies!” she said, loud and clear. “would you like a hot dog?!”

her sudden, and random, friendliness caught us off guard. it was wonderful.

“happy veteran’s day!” we said back, smiling while we politely passed on the hot dogs.

“let me ask you a question,” she said, leaning towards us over the hot dog stand. “do you know what the veteran’s day color is?”

we paused, looked at each other, and said we didn’t know.

“maybe red, white and blue?” i said.

holly guessed yellow.

“hmmm…good guesses. maybe it is yellow. or red, white and blue!”

“isn’t it kind of cold for you to be working out here today?” holly said.

“no, it’s fine,” she said. “i chose to be out here anyway.”

before we went inside the automatic doors, she wished us a happy holiday again and i swear i could have jumped over the stand and hugged her. i think holly and i both felt like crying. it just cheered us up so much. i don’t know what it was but i swear it helped.

since our house was still kind of foul and we just couldn’t get ourselves to cook, we decided to go to our favorite local diner for lunch. it’s greek-owned, just like in jersey, and has fabulous scrambled eggs and home fries and pancakes and pretty much anything else you order, regardless of the meal (despite the fact that i named off only breakfast foods! you can see where my mind’s at…) it may have been wednesday, it may have been thursday. but we were both so tired and deflated and dirty-feeling w/probably smelly death clothes.

i barely had an appetite but knew i needed to eat. holly felt similarly.

this great waitress came over to take our order. she’s one of those professional waitresses, that’s what i call them. a woman who’s been a waitress for so long it’s second nature to her, and she’s pretty much unflappable and calls everyone “hon” or “sweetie.”

i don’t know what she said to us, but she was just so nice. so so nice. we were really disoriented and holly was having a hard time figuring out what to order. she was struggling between two hot sandwiches w/gravy, mashed potatos on the side, that sort of thing. it was either a sirloin/roast beef open-faced sandwich or turkey. she settled on the beef, with the waitress assuring her it was an excellent choice. i loved her demeanor. she was so nice. and funny. and we both appreciated her demeanor so much.

our food came quickly, as it normally does there.

“enjoy, ladies,” she said.

when she was out of earshot, holly said quietly that she brought her a turkey sandwich by mistake. i could see the disappointment in her eyes. it’s kinda like, when you want a certain something, you want it. and turkey is surely not a replacement for a sirloin sandwich.

“why don’t you just tell her, honey? it’s not a big deal. i don’t think she’ll mind.”

“no, it’s okay,” holly said, starting to cut into her food.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. it’s fine.”

i looked at her face as she started to get ready to eat a sandwich that she really didn’t want. i knew she would never tell the waitress b/c she knew the friendly waitress would feel so bad she brought the wrong thing, esp. b/c holly and the waitress spent such a long time debating the merits of each, with holly finally settling on the beef.

“you’re a good egg,” i said to her. of course i felt like i was going to cry again. she got emotional, too. she knew exactly what i was talking about.

“this is exactly why i married you.”

b/c even when she’s having one of her very worst days–and her partner is pretty much falling apart in front of her eyes and her house smells literally like death warmed over (and over) and we don’t have a single decent-smelling thing to wear and our world has been flipped upside down–she still cares about other ppl’s feelings.

i’ve told you all about my theory about breaking the cycle of meanness. well here’s the other side of that: just being nice to everyone, as much as you possibly can. even when you’re having perhaps the worst day of your life, try to be nice to ppl. b/c you could be the “old man next door” who has absolutely no one, practically, in this entire world. you might be the one person he comes into contact with all day. or you could be the two girls next door who are having the worst day ever. hold the door for someone. smile. make some idle conversation in line at the post office. anything. you could be the bright spot in someone’s day w/out even knowing it.

Carrie Prejean, You're No Anita Bryant

2009-11-15T17:50:00.000+02:00

Same as it ever was?

I’m old: I have several silver hairs sprouting up around my temples just like Earth-2 Superman, pop music makes me angry, and if I don’t get to bed before 11 PM, I tend to be forgetful at work the next day and wander away from my cubicle. And, like most old people, I am of the firm conviction that everything was way better when I was younger. The rock stars wore more makeup, the movies had more space ships, and the tv shows had more hair. Hell, even the bad things were somehow cut from a finer cloth than the bad things we’re stuck with today. When I was younger, bad things were bad in a way that had meaning and gravitas. These bad things–like the nuclear threat presented by the Soviet Bloc, and the belligerent wholesomeness of The Lawrence Welk Show– represented the culmination of a generation’s worth of massive-scale ideological brinksmanship from which there could be no turning back. I’m talking about a time when the “zealot” pigeonhole was big enough to house more than just a contingent of Middle Eastern malcontents; back in the day, bad things and their respective attendants truly believed in their causes. And they meant business. With this historical perspective in mind, I really have a hard time taking Carrie Prejean seriously. After all, I remember Anita Bryant.

Anita Bryant: now there’s a bitch to contend with. I stumbled upon Bryant in an article in Time about her campaign to “Save Our Children From Homosexuality” when I was 8 years old. I didn’t know what homosexuality was. I did know I liked Nova from Planet of the Apes a whole bunch. And Sabrina from Charlie’s Angels. And that one girl in my class who was really good at dodgeball. I wasn’t able to make the connection between myself and the people Anita Bryant sought to oppress, but nonetheless, I came away from that Time article feeling a mixture of anger and indignation. I didn’t know much about hatred or intolerance back then, either, but thanks to Anita Bryant, I found myself on the fast track to learning. Who the hell did she think she was, taking rights away from people and telling them how to live, I smoldered. And right there, on the spot, I made that most sacred of grade school vows: ”Anita Bryant is not the boss of me!”

Anita Bryant was hard-core. She didn’t just want to “protect marriage” from the “gay menace”; she wanted to legalize discrimination against gay people in regards to housing, employment, and public accommodation. In other words, Anita Bryant wanted a world in which the difference between hobo and homo amounted to a handful of tattered accessories and a certain way of walking. And she wanted that world badly enough to found and head up an organization (hysterically named Save Our Children) to create that world. Bryant was a Disney villainess of a sort: a larger than life persona with arched eyebrows, cold eyes, and a strangely wolfish smile who carried within her cloaks the threat Your Children Are Not Safe. And as such, her tactics played to the darkest fears of middle America: “As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children.”

Anita Bryant got results. She was able to rally up enough hatred and terror to not only make legal gay oppression in her home of Dade County, Florida, but to create an environment in which homophobia maintained a 31-year stranglehold on the rights of gay people to adopt children in that state. Because of Anita Bryant and her efforts with Save Our Children people lost jobs, they were prohibited housing, and thousands of children were denied safe and loving homes. That bitch was no joke.

Which brings me to Carrie Prejean. Granted, the cultural landscape has changed significantly since I was a kid, and despite my geriatric gripes, it has changed for the better. While things are far from perfect, at least the trumped-up allegations that Bryant used to trumpet in the mainstream media have toned down to hissed innuendoes from the fringe. The battle field is no longer one upon which we are forced to struggle for our basic rights to work for a living or maintain a roof over our heads, but to obtain the same protections and rights for our committed relationships and families that are enjoyed and sometimes taken for granted by straight people. So a new age brings forth a new beauty queen to try to be the boss of us. But Carrie Prejean is no Anita Bryant.

Carrie Prejean is an opportunist. She became famous because she made the statement “…I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there.” (I can almost envision Anita Bryant looking up from the green glow emanating from her enormous caldron, snarling “‘No offense?!?’”) Carrie Prejean did not found the National Organization for Marriage. She doesn’t lead it. She is employed by it. In essence, anyone who focuses their frustration on Carrie Prejean is as misguided as those dorks who confused Joe Camel with the tobacco industry.

Carrie Prejean has no strength in her alleged convictions. Witness her pathetic display of ignorance and immaturity on The Larry King Show this week when asked why she had settled her “religious discrimination” lawsuit against the Miss USA pageant. As if it wasn’t lame enough to back down from the question “Why settle since you had a fight to carry on?”, Prejean had to take it one step further into Wussy Wonderland by pussing out and pouting instead of taking a call from a gay viewer. She is not a crusader. She is a paid spokesmodel who couldn’t hold up her side of a debate if it came equipped with E-Z grip handles. Based on this week’s performance on King, I’d say the powers that be over at NOM are probably regretting their investment even more than the Miss USA pageant regrets buying Prejean’s breast implants. At least the implants are doing their job.

Carrie Prejean has allegedly written a book. The volume is a testament to Prejean’s mastery of the literary arts in that it clearly has a front cover, a back cover, a dust jacket, and pages that are made of paper. Furthermore, it demonstrates Prejean’s level of commitment as a gay rights opponent as its title, Still Standing, bears more than a passing resemblance to “I’m Still Standing”, the 1983 hit song by gay marriage activist Elton John. I can’t wait until Prejean’s Still Standing hits the cutout bin so I can buy it; my copy of Chastity Bono’s Family Outing is lonely and hasn’t had anyone call it “Daddy” since my copy of The Total Woman was consumed by feminist termites.

I could go on. And on. The point is, Carrie Prejean is a joke that practically writes itself. If she’s the worst that the opposition has for us, the future of Gay Marriage in America is far brighter than she is.

Test0estrogen

2009-11-14T18:17:00.000+02:00

Feeling weightless and free, with the stink of paste in her nostrils, a bunch of nodes jammed into her spiky hair and Shonen Knife yelling through her headphones, Scar was about as close to happy as she ever got in those dumpster days. Sitting with the crew getting pasted up and ready to jack in earlier, she’d found herself explaining breeze-blocks to a drag queen as, “building accessories, like bricks, but bigger and really porous, doll,” and it made her feel that sense of tribe again, where shit like that was joyfully commonplace.

Veto and Samanth0r were off somewhere coding the killer virus to kill all killer viruses – by the time you read this, you probably know all about it. The Mobius Matrix Virus didn’t come at you with any fucking lilac crap or rainbows or little pink triangles, but that thing was queer by name and nature for sure. What it did, was tangle your processor, while entertaining you with a never ending loop of rather pretty DOS coloured binary in the shape of the good old infinity symbol. Your memory, meantime, was harnessed by our jerrybuilt server, downtown. And it was goodnight she said to pretty much every Hetero network in G-City. Every network that worked on the ubiquitous Makro$hark sys anyway.

When we deck-jockeys jacked in, Veto and Sam streamed coded instructions right to our goggles. We didn’t even needs brains for the mission, just a certain level of dexterity. If you’d been standing at the decks that day, you’d have seen a very motley crew indeed, all wired up and doing something that looks a little like tai chi and a little like we’re about to karate chop your ass right off. I can feel the excitement of it all even now. It wasn’t your everyday data theft gig, no sir.

(Yup, I’m afraid it was the kind of event that forced an American accent upon one).

Helen’s team went in first, in deep stealth mode, to recce and open up the dataways. The the deep geeks themselves, Sam and Veto, unleashed the unholy hounds of hell looping through cyberspace and after that it was up to us, to literally hack and slash our way in the aftermath, creating new portals to spread the infection, spread the chaos.

Waiting in the wings, was Blue, to haul out anyone with the slightest sign of earbleed. I heard later Helen had actually stopped breathing when she got yanked back. Me, I got off light, with my usual little oozes of blood from nose and ears. Veto generally blames my history of medication for that one.

What does it look like out there? Nothing like that fucking pretty green serpent Veto and Sam cooked up, I can tell you that with confidence. And it doesn’t matter how corporate the data you’re surfing, there are no logos and colour out there … well it’s something you feel, you don’t see it as such. If you’re synesthetic, you’ll know what I mean. It’s damn near impossible to explain to a noob, you’ve got to pilot a deck to understand. The moment you jack in, gravity’s not an issue – nothing is an issue. There’s just what you feel in your hands, and see on your eyefeed. There’s just … this incredible focus. I just can’t explain it, man.

naughty teenage lesbian sleep overs, on video

2009-11-12T18:21:00.000+02:00

mmmm tastes sweet

What happens when you have a slumber party with a bunch of horny young teenage girls? Well, aparently they get naked and lick and fuck eachother…..”Who brought the strap on?”

Watching naughty little teens getting naked and pleasing eachother is something we never get tired of. We found this site that features exactly that, steamy scenes of young horny teens licking and pleasing eachother. Enjoy!

check out teen lesbians

go back home

breakdown, part 2

2009-11-12T02:24:00.000+02:00

last night i closed out my entry on a high note: we stopped by our house in the afternoon and the death smell was lifting, thanks, in part–or so we thought–to lots and lots boxes of baking soda. and time. today we came back and the smell was worse. worse even than the day (sunday) they found and removed our neighbor’s body. i simply cannot describe the feeling, the crushing blow this was to us, especially me.

i got one good whiff of it and then walked out, closed the door and stood out on our wet, rainy stoop and just cried. i cried and cried and cried standing there until holly came out and warned me that the neighbors would start to wonder what was going on. and i said, what the hell do i care what our neighbors think. i cried until i gave myself a headache, until my face was swollen and my lips hurt. even tho we have put blood, sweat and tears into our house, i wish it wasn’t ours. i wish we were renting it so we could just break our lease and get the hell out of here. but responsibility calls. this is our house, this is home ownership and we need to deal with it, whether we want to or not.

holly has spent a great deal of time on the phone over the past couple days trying to figure out a) what can be done about his house (empty, easy to break into, a huge fire hazard, sealed up, unventilated with rats inside and out) b) who/where he may have relatives and c) make sure all of his books are donated to the local university he retired from (as a librarian). tho we don’t/didn’t know much about him, he told us on several occasions that he wanted to donate his books to that university, but felt overwhelmed by the task of going thru them and packing them up. we offered to find ppl to help him, but he said he wasn’t interested. we think he was just embarrassed to have ppl come in his house. that’s how full of books and paper is it, apparently. (the cops and fire fighters told us there was just a narrow path for them to get to him.) maybe that’s why he kept to himself so much, never had anyone over. he was just ashamed. it’s very sad. i’m really surprised we were even able to talk him into getting an exterminator (two years ago; obviously it never worked).

by talking to three ppl that knew our neighbor–including the lone cousin he kept in touch with, an elderly woman (in her 80s) in texas–we’re actually learning a little about the quiet, eccentric man that lived–and died–alone next door to us.

he was a hermit, she told holly tonight. he loved to read, but had a problem with buying books (as in, he couldn’t stop). he was always “a little strange,” she said. and tho she told him for years to write a will, she doubts he has one. he wanted to be cremated without a service. he was a agnostic, or an athiest, she said. he really did plan on moving to texas, apparently (he always told us he planned to move to texas), as he put a deposit on a home there. she wound up talking on the phone to the detective that came here sunday night. they’re having a hard time identifying him, and the detective was inquiring about dental records. yeah. so. no wonder we can’t get the smell out of here. not to be disrespectful. but it’s the truth.

re: his empty house, turns out baltimore city is even more dysfunctional than we thought. they won’t shut off his water until “something happens,” such as a flood or a pipe burst. they won’t shut off his power until “something happens,” such as, oh i don’t know, G-d forbid a fire or something (every house on our block is connected; you do the math). and they won’t secure the place (“secure” probably means board it up, which will really really suck in terms of trying to sell or rent our place in the future, which is our plan) until “something happens,” like…robbery. or squatters. or drug addicts who are firing up crack pipes amongst piles and piles of papers. or hookers who use the space to do business. (this has happened with at least two houses across the street from us). so you can see we have a vested interest in his house. that’s why we’re happy his remaining relative is interested in finding a local lawyer to try to do something about his house. we’re in the process of locating one for her. here’s hoping something good can happen. maybe she can sell it.

so here we are. back in our house. it smells like a friggin winter wonderland here as we’re burning body shop oil non-stop. (we came up with the idea of buying one of these tealight oil things) so we’re mixing cranberry and pine and oh it smells great when its burning. but once it’s out it’s…cranberry, pine…and death! (hey, jessie, you told me i had to start joking around about things so there you go) the death smell has settled near the front door and the top of the stairs and the basement. and you stiff hard enough anywhere you can pretty much smell it. but that’s where it’s the strongest. i’m sitting on a puffy armchair that probably smells like it, too. but what the hell are we supposed to do? sit on the floor? exactly.

look, humans deal with much more traumatic things on a daily basis all over the world. but this is our little trauma right now. and yeah, doing 10,000 pounds of laundry maybe doesn’t seem like such a big deal to some of you, but it is to us b/c we’re already exhausted. and we don’t want that laundry soaking up the death smell once we’re done w/it. which it will since everything around here does. i’ve got deep rings under my eyes, and can only tolerate bad-for-me food b/c honestly, it’s the only thing i can work up an appetite for.

we’ve got a load of towels in the dryer and sheets in the washer. next up is a comforter and then some pajamas. we’ll lie close together in our own bed tonight and try to regain some sense of normalcy. we’ll try to keep pushing out thoughts of what might have happened to him, and hope to G-d he didn’t suffer. we’ll try to ignore the bad whaffs of air to seem to come out of nowhere. we’ll try to wake up tomorrow and feel normal and go on with things. b/c sometimes, most times, the very best thing you can do is not run away, but just go on with things and take everything one day at a time.

We Can Do It!

2009-11-10T17:39:00.000+02:00

J. Howard Miller’s iconic poster of Rosie the Riveter is the inspiration for the We Can Do It! campaign. Photography by John Ganun and produced by Brad Bilanin and the Open Artist Movement. Take a look!

more about "We Can Do It!", posted with vodpod

“We Can Do It! is a photo campaign to build solidarity and personal strength through positive messaging. The goal is to bring to life modern iconic individuals, by depicting them as powerful and not victims in support of the global LGBT movement worldwide.”

- OpenArtistMovement.com

Not only are these images hot! Open actors and celebrities like Darryl Stephens and Reichen are joining the cause. They are thought provoking with the ability to expand the viewer’s idea of what being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered people can do in America. The stereotypes of who can do what job are being reformed. With the issue of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in debate. This first wave of images show gay people out for all to see as service men. I look forward to seeing this campaign grow… I can imagine drag queen, Ru Paul in a nurses uniform, Ellen DeGeneres with a radio microphone, Chaz Bono in drag as his mom, Cher,.. The diversity of the LGBT community is a wealth to be explored and no matter the job; We Can Do It!

Check Out openartistmovement.com/wcdi regularly for new additions to the campaign gallery!

in other news, i have a rash.

2009-11-08T02:00:00.000+02:00

this is not really news. at least not to me. or holly. as i am always getting some sort of rash. it’s annoying, and, at 31, getting a little old.

i spent much of yesterday and today running to doctors and pharmacies, with the top of my hands and wrists itching like crazy, praying i didn’t see anyone i know since my eyelids are swelling up, too. oh yes. yes yes yes. as a grumpy ex-colleague of mine used to say: “if it’s not one thing, it’s another” (the not-too-distant cousin of the equally annoying “damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” which she also favored. i cannot stand either one of those expressions, btw. it’s like, well, duh. there’s truly always going to be something. it’s called life.)

anyway, i have a theory about this rash, but i’m going to hold off and keep you waiting until my book comes out. in the meantime, it’s keeping me up at night–or at least waking me up–and making me glad we have our overpriced/gay-unfriendly cobra plan. i am hoping the antihistamines i was prescribed work so i won’t have to take the scary steroid pack i was also prescribed b/c woohboy, the one time i had to take that (for chronic sinus headaches) on about the second day i was filled with such a sudden, ravenous, completely insane hunger that i swear i could have eaten a couch cushion. or my arm. good thing we had tositos in the house. i wish i would have chewed them better b/c they scratched my throat.

anyway, the rash kind of threw a temporary wrench into my very temporary joy that a national story i wrote was going to be picked up by the today show, which is my very favorite show next to the golden girls (yes, apparently i’m 80). it is my big dream to be on w/meredith, matt, anne and al. i got word that a reporter was going to do it and i immediately thought: OMG MY RASH. THE RASH HAS MOVED TO MY EYELIDS AND THEY’RE STARTING TO SWELL AND I’M GOING TO LOOK LIKE I HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY AND I JUST ATE A PB&J IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER AND NEED AN EPI-PEN.

my panic was, of course, unwarranted (as it usually is), b/c even tho they’re probably doing the story this week, not only will i not be on, but, for various (long winded) reasons, i will not even be mentioned. this is fine, tho. b/c i want my first visit to the today show to be for my book. and just the mere fact that something i wrote, that i came up with the idea for (while in weird-o acupuncture over the summer) is being picked up by my fave news show makes me extremely happy. and plus, i have a rash. it’s bad enough just telling you about it. like hell i’m gonna go on national tv w/it. c’mon now

Summer Pranks Aren’t Welcome Here

2009-11-05T18:00:00.000+02:00

Well, like most surprising conversations, you don’t exactly remember how they started. It seems people simply start talking and our language carries us from topic to topic.

This one was more of a push in the pool. I was simply minding my own business, without a care in the world, taking in life’s warm sun rays as they kissed my skin…when all of a sudden, the three culprits creped their mischievous little bodies behind my back and with one great heave–pushed me into the pool landing into a major belly flop.

The culprits would be the phrase and words we all know…

I love you

Now, for most who know me (or have dated me), I’m not afraid of commitment. In fact, I almost challenge it to come around like a bully on the playground. I’m most comfortable in a relationship. But this makes me scared. I’m nervous. I’m nervous for the amount of trust she has in me. No one really knows the damage I can really cause, but I think everyone is about to know soon enough…

Night before last Stephanie and I were on the phone. Suddenly she begins to cry, and I have no idea why. Somehow, someway we got to an emotional topic (for her). After a long, awkward pause she says, “Katie, I love you.”

I was shocked. We haven’t even been “dating” two weeks, and she’s already comfortable enough to tell me those three little words? What happened to taking it slow? What happened to repairing what was broken once before? I’m just so uncertain. I don’t even know where I’ll be in a year! For all we know I could be at Full Sail in Florida or College Station at A&M or Austin at UT. I have so many paths that ours might never cross again. And who’s to say this long distance thing is really going to work? If I go to Florida, I’m not going there with a relationship back here in Texas. I’ll be there to strictly focus on school and my future career. If I go to College Station, it’s plausible we may work, but there are no sure things. IF I make it into UT, the relationship is almost certainly a dead end. But the fact of all these options…I’m not going to set my path because of a girl. I’m not going to risk one decision affecting (essentially) the rest of my life. This is the most selfish times in our lives, but someone has to be…

Not only does the major possibility that we won’t work scare me, but it’s also the fact that she hurt me so bad the 1st few times around. Who’s to say she won’t just flip out again? We haven’t even addressed any of those speed-bumps. We’ve just simply started “talking” again. But all of this scares me right down to the core.

I’m going to have to talk to her tonight…I can’t just keep this big of an issue inside. Especially if I’m planning to see her next weekend.

God, I’ll probably make her cry…I hate making her cry. This is just all so scary. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t like it at all…

Fuck DADT!

2009-11-05T02:37:00.000+02:00

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Be, Don’t Exist, Lie!

Don’t share who are, just resist, Deny!

You can’t openly serve for our country, Why?

Don’t be open, go back in the closet!

Your not hetero enough to fight, where is the logic?

It makes no sense and it’s about time we stop it.

Your too gay to protect our nation,

This is brainless discrimination.

How exactly is sexuality relevant to a military situation?

You can’t be a soldier, because you’re too queer.

You can’t fight for our honor, choose a new career.

I can’t understand it, What exactly do they fear?

That you might spread gay cooties on the other army boys?

That you’ll be applying eyeliner when you batallion deploys?

That you’ll misuse your guns as anal sex toys?

This is absolutly ridiculous!

Let’s get rid of this.

This ignorant law is painfully ludicrous.

How many skilled technicians need to be discharged?

It’s a violation of civil rights, that we have fought for so hard.

Freedom is so important, please don’t disregard.

Our Army needs able troops, can’t they comprehend?

Because of ignorant fears, brave Americans can’t serve and defend.

Because of homophobia, our military is now weakened.

This law must be put to an end!

Carina Fosse

May 12th, 2009

Mitrice Richardson's Family and Friends Ask the LGBT Community to Help Them Find Her

2009-11-03T18:08:00.000+02:00

There was a Monday night press conference at which the family of Mitrice Richardson formally asked the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community of Los Angeles–and elsewhere –to help them find the young woman who has been missing for nearly two months.

Tessa Moon, who has been in a two-year romantic relationship with Mitrice Richardson, reached out to the gay and lesbian community to see if they have seen the missing woman, Michael Richardson said.

Michael Richardson said Moon has been helping search for his daughter since she disappeared.

“We do the searches that no one wants to do,” Michael Richardson said. “We’ve been out here talking to pimps, gang members and ladies of the night on Manchester, Florence, Western and Figueroa.”

Alleged sightings of Mitrice Richardson have been reported in Los Angeles and Orange counties and as far away as San Jose. Her father tries to check out as many leads as possible.

“I don’t care if they don’t turn out to be Mitrice, but I have to go look,” her father said.

He said the searches have been fruitless, although some of the women bear a strong resemblance to his daughter. But despite the disappointment, he said he remains optimistic about the possibility of finding his daughter alive.

“You can do no wrong in my eyes,” Michael Richardson said he would like to tell his daughter. “I’m trying to get you and we are going to work this out.”

The Advocate added:

Tessa Moon [made] an appeal tonight [...] at Jewel’s Catch One community room in Los Angeles. Moon and Richardson have been in a relationship for two years.

“If I could tell her anything right now, it would be ‘Don’t be afraid. We’re coming,’” she told the Los Angeles Times on Monday.

Moon was in the same motorcycle club, The Chosen Few, as Richardson’s father Michael, who is urging police to release security footage from the night his daughter was arrested to prove that she was not in the right mental state to be released from police custody. She was discharged from the station at approximately 1:25 a.m., according to a family website, with no cell phone or purse. None of her bank accounts or credit cards have been used since she went missing, KTLA News reports.

Michael Richardson seems to be at the breaking point:

“You could obviously see that something was wrong with her mental state, and still you don’t call for the 5150, the psychological analysis on her. You see that something is wrong with her, but you let her go,” said Moon.

“Sheriffs need to be questioned about the young, black, African American lady who was walking down there by herself, not in her right state of mind,” [Michael Richardson] said. “Based on the way she was conducting herself, she was supposed to be held.”

At an emotional news conference Monday night, Mitrice’s father pleaded for information about his 24-year-old daughter, while also leveling serious allegations against the L.A. County Sheriff’s department.

“The case is upside down. Everything they’re doing do my daughter is upside down,” said Mitrice’s father.

Two weekend searches of the area have turned up nothing, but Moon remains optimistic.

“I know she’s alive. I feel her, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s alive,” said Moon.

I hope so, but every day that she’s missing, it doesn’t look good.

On the high note, this is something that is usually unprecedented about black families that (1) appears to accept their child’s sexuality, and (2) allows the consort or companion to speak on their behalf as family. They just want her back; they just want justice served.

Halloween Party a big success

2009-11-03T02:05:00.000+02:00

This year’s party was as much, if not more fun than ever. Rex’s best guess is that we had over 150 attending.

To see photos from the party visit our flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/39176713@N08/

The costumes were fabulous, prize winners were:

1st Prize to Jesus and Farrah Fawcett

2nd Prize to the Chick Magnet

And…3rd Prize went to Traffic Cone and Highway Worker:

This year’s esteemed judges were former Lawrence Mayor Mike Rundle, Mike’s Partner Tony (not shown), and

KJHK’s Radio Personalities Dick and Dyke:

Keepsakes

2009-10-29T02:47:00.000+02:00

As you all saw I spent part of this week upset over experiences that I may not get to have or might enjoy for the last time this year. Obviously I’m hoping that’s not the case but it’s not entirely unrealistic to consider. Today I decided to take action though and prevent them from stealing anything more than experiences from me. I started creating a memory box which once I get the contents finalized will be stored at a friends house.

I’m not sure how much, if anything, they would allow me to take with me. I also don’t need to be scrambling around last minute to collect all those little things that actually mean a lot to me. I don’t want to forget anything and I certainly don’t want to be forced to leave things behind. And like I alluded to in my previous posts, some of it isn’t even for me. I have memories in my head but my children won’t. I want to be able to share things with them. It seems dorky to think that far ahead but I really do want a family and I’ll do everything I can now to ensure that they at least have some pictures and objects. There’s only so much you can tell someone. Maybe they will never see their grandparents in person but I can at least provide them with pictures to go along with the stories.

I started by digging through two boxes (i’m not a hoarder, they’re fairly small lol) of stuff that I already had established as places to keep valuables that had nowhere else to go. As I started I wondered how I was going to pick and choose what to bring with me and soon reality set in, there is very little I have that is worth saving. It’s not about the actual objects to me but the memories they carry. It all suddenly looked like junk. I would give it all away to be accepted by my family.

Objects have never really taken on much meaning to me in the past but at some point they might be all I have.

I eventually sorted through stuff by trying to think of what my kids (dork alert again) might enjoy hearing about. Some things have significant memories tied to them while others are just cool or funny. I’m also in the process of going through all of our photo albums and scanning in pictures. I’m hoping to get those on CDs to put in the box. That’s probably going to be the most valuable object to me. If I end up having time i’d also like to get some home videos put on CD but that will take longer. I might make that later on if I have time and just give it to my friend to add to the box.

I’m also planning on writing a letter to myself. What do I say though?! The next time I read it there’s a large possibility that I will have just been kicked out. I need something to pull me through, even if it just gets me through that first night. It’s hard to write that when I’m in a slightly depressed mood but I feel as if that will be invaluable as well. A long with some cash of course

Maybe I’ll throw in some candy?

Any other suggestions?

Inthecrack Lexy and Candy oiled up lesbians

2009-10-27T10:00:00.000+02:00

Inthecrack Lexy and Candy oiled up lesbians

NOTICE: The content that you are about to view may contain material only suitable for adults. You must be at least 18 years of age to view this.

Gallery:

http://www.inthecrack.com/tgp/052×1562715xa4964

Now things get really messy as Candy squirts great gobs of baby oil all down Lexy’s ass and then fingers her pussy with 4 fingers. For a while Candy sits right on Lexy’s ass and pours oil down both of their asses and you see 4 glistening bum checks writhing against each other as Candy rides Lexy’s ass.

lessons in history

2009-10-27T02:23:00.000+02:00

So, I suppose I should go into a little of my history. Some back-story, if you will. (Not gonna dwell on the childhood part too much, though – I’m hoping a short paragraph or two will suffice.) Born in a small town in the midwest, adopted and moved into a bigger town in the midwest. Had a happy childhood for the most part; really can’t complain about any of it. Parent’s are super nice/responsible/do-gooding/god-fearing/socially liberal folk.. which can really be a bizarre combination at times. Like, they believe that homosexuality is against God, but gays should at least have the same rights as everyone else before they go to hell.. *laughs*

Looking back, there were signs of my sexual preferences everywhere, but I was super clueless at the time. Sure, I loved playing doctor with my girl friends, as well as “house” where I was always the dad.. but did I think for a second that I might actually be gay? Oh hell no. Once I was out of high school and into college, I had just come to the conclusion that I was bi. I was attracted to girls, but I had never actually established an emotional connection with one. All of my emotional connections were with men. Specifically one man – David.

I met David my junior year of college; so that would’ve been…oh.. October of 1999? He was setting up the dorm to be a haunted house for the local kids to come through and he needed to borrow a chair. Pretty simple beginning, really. He and I never really got to talking until the spring of 2000, and then, at that point, we were inseparable.

A little about David. How do I describe him? He’s.. amazing. Really. I couldn’t have found someone more perfect for me. He’s kind, sweet, gorgeous, a creative genius, wonderfully artistic and about as laid-back as someone can get without turning into an inanimate object. He was always connecting with animals and children, though he wasn’t trying with the kids..lol They were just drawn to him. His mother always told me that when he was growing up he used to stand back and watch the other kids playing. Rarely would he actually join in. He’d just watch with a little half-smile on his face. He was an old man trapped in a child’s body, she’d say. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s an old soul.

We were together for approx 5 years before David proposed to me. And he did it in about the coolest way imaginable: He made a movie. Not just any movie, but a silent film where he portrayed Charlie Chaplin. (Side note: David’s been portraying Charlie since he was about 6 years old.. no kidding. He’s a dead ringer for the man, too. It was pretty incredible to watch.) Of course, I said yes immediately. I mean, good God.. who wouldn’t say yes to that? But really, cool proposal aside, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with that man. *smile* He made me that happy.

So.. we got married, did the whole traditional wedding thing, had a cool reception with all our favorite people there. About a year later we bought our first house together in the suburbs. A cute-ass little cape cod that was built in the 40’s. Ohmygod it was AWESOME. Lots of fantastic little architectural details, a gi-normous back yard that was an absolute bitch to mow, and a creepy basement that looked more like a dungeon but was fabulous for themed parties.

I’d say I was like.. 85% happy with my life at that point. The only issues that he and I had were in the bedroom. (duh) David and I were extremely close as friends, but we weren’t so good at being lovers. As time went on, I was losing more and more interest in sex. It got to the point where I was dreading it. I didn’t want to bring it up because of how guilty I felt about it, and David was hesitant for fear of hurting my feelings.

It finally got to the point where we couldn’t ignore that there was a serious problem brewing. I automatically assumed that it was my fault and that there was something wrong with me. So, I went to the doctor to try to figure out what the issue was. I had at first assumed that my testosterone levels were off due to my long-term use of birth control. I had been taking it for 10 years at that point, and I had heard that extended use of birth control could sometimes end in a decline in one’s sex drive. Well, the doctor just kinda looked at me funny when I told her my libido had dropped SIGNIFICANTLY, but she agreed to testing my levels. Of course everything was normal, but I refused to accept that as an answer. So I went to a pharmacist (the kind that can actually diagnose you themselves and create an all-natural cocktail of vitamins & minerals to aid your every ailment.) She was a very kind woman, and I did try the concoction she proposed for me for about 3 months, but ultimately there was no change.

I was getting reeeealllly frustrated at this point, as you can imagine. There was nothing wrong with my chemistry, so maybe there was something wrong with my brain. (See my logic? Yeah..) I figured my body image might have a part to play, and it did, to a point. I had always been overweight, even since I was a child. Not morbidly obese or anything, but big enough that I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I had a fire lit under my ass to fix myself, and I’m pretty sure if I hadn’t been so frustrated that I never would’ve done it, but I got my ass to a gym and hired a personal trainer.

Yeah, I actually had a personal trainer for like, 7 months. And oh my god did that work. I was dropping weight like it was hot. Not only did she kick my ass every other morning, but she was in charge of my diet as well. I felt great. Like, really great. I was starting to feel ok with myself. Unfortunately, nothing was changing in the bedroom. I had a ton more energy, but none of it was really directed towards sex.

I was at a loss, and David, while really supportive and super proud of me for what I had accomplished, was frustrated with the situation, too. I was starting to wonder if it was just him… and maybe not me. Was it possible that I just wasn’t attracted to my husband anymore? I tried looking at other guys at work, and while they were cute and flirty, I wasn’t feeling anything for them. I wasn’t feeling much of anything at that point and it was killing me. I felt so incredibly guilty that I didn’t want my husband and best friend of 8ish years. I mean, he’s an incredible man! Any woman would be so lucky to have caught his attention, and here I was just wasting it… or so I thought. I felt like I was failing him.

I was getting desperate. I really didn’t know what else to do. I considered going to a shrink, or even a sex therapist, but I couldn’t afford that sort of treatment, and the idea of professional help, while probably the most effective choice, was kinda embarrassing. What was I supposed to say, exactly? “Hey there! I’m a sexually frigid/repressed 29 year old. Fix me.” So what did I do instead? What every woman should do at some point in their life:

I joined a burlesque troupe.

(that’s all for now… more nekkid goodness coming your way soon)

Congress passes hate crime laws to include gays

2009-10-24T17:20:00.000+02:00

Physical attacks on people based on sexual orientation will now officially be considered a hate crime and will be punishable by the U.S. government and law officials. In the past 11 years, over 80,000 hate crimes based on sexual orientation have taken place and only a few of them have been acknowledged. This will all change soon! 2010 will be a GREAT year for the gays! Remember it only takes one voice to make a change! Lets go!

Click HERE for fill article

The Topp Twins

2009-10-24T01:42:00.000+02:00

Tonight folks, I will be at the Regent Theatre along with the rest of the lesbian poplulation of Dunedin, and indeed a whole bunch of staight ladies and gentlemen to see The Topp Twins. Woot to that we say!

It will be fun, funny and frolicky and I can’t wait. My ticket is an early birthday pressie which is pretty damn cool. I have always wanted to learn to yodel, mostly cos I really in my heart always wanted to be a Topp Twin, sadly I’m a shy and retiring kind of a girl and the stage – and singing in public was not for me. Sigh. Looking forward to a night of lots of audience interraction and ridicule. Last time I saw them was with my lovely sister at the Blossom Festival a long time ago, and woman o woman did we have fun! So I imaging tonight will be a similar hoot.

Peep Show author interview with M. March

2009-10-20T00:53:00.000+02:00

This is the first of several Q&As, conducted via email, with contributors to Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists.

M. March

How did you come up with the idea for your story in Peep Show?

This story, “Missing Michael,” was actually from an old novel I was working on. The whole novel was written from the point of view of a gay man, but I chickened out with finishing that novel and decided it was better to write a new novel written from the point of view of someone more like me, i.e., a lesbian. But I had saved the old novel because I really liked parts of it and thought I could salvage it eventually in one form or another. So the story in Peep Show started with the first paragraph of the first page of that old novel, but then I rewrote it so much, it bares no resemblance to that old novel at all.

Did the story change as you were writing it from your original conception of it?

Like I said, I originally planned for this to be a rewrite of that old novel, so that definitely changed. It’s kind of difficult to remember, as I wrote it so long ago, but I don’t think I had multiple viewpoints in the original conception.

What’s your favorite line or paragraph from your story?

“I’ll eat his ass like it’s a seven-course meal and suck his nipples like they’re a cold milkshake.”

Is your Peep Show story similar to or different from your usual erotic writing style?

Definitely different. I never wrote a gay erotic short story before and it seems odd that I would, considering I’m a lesbian. But there’s a part of me that can understand the beauty in men, especially queer men, and also a part of me that feels mentally like I am a gay man. Also, I had some experience in my life being in a heterosexual relationship, so I do understand the sexual appeal of a male, and the sexual experience of being with a male.

The multiple viewpoints is also different than how I usually write, and this story is much more poignant than I usually write. I tend to write funnier erotic stories. For me, I think I was trying to write about a breakup I had, which to me felt like a death, and writing about how you move on from that.

What do you think is sexy about exhibitionism and/or voyeurism?

That’s a good question. I think there’s something sexy about having sex where you could be caught, but likely won’t be. (Because I’ve been caught almost having sex once, and trust me, that wasn’t fun at all.) Like if you’re in a hotel room and you stare out the window, and you can see all these people below you, but they can’t see that you are 10 floors up having sex. It’s almost like you’re having an orgy, because these other people are sort of involved in your sex scene. I got a few hand jobs in clubs and it was done very discreetly, but I got such a high, thinking, “I’m doing this and all these people are watching me, but they don’t realize it.” I’m not even sure I can put it into words why it’s exciting, but it is.

Voyeurism is not really my bag, though I will admit I like some films where people are having sex. And it’s kind of cool in the summertime when my female neighbor decides not to bother with a shirt.

If you care to answer, are you more of a voyeur, exhibitionist, or neither? Do you think there’s something inherently exhibitionistic about writing, especially writing erotica?

I’m more of an exhibitionist, as my last answer illustrates. And I think there is something exhibitionistic about writing fiction, regardless of genre. Although fiction is not true, everyone assumes that what you write is based on your personal life. And with erotica, people think God knows what kind of sex life you have. I am very private about what I tell people, but with my writing I let it all hang out, because I love writing, and to hold back exposing myself in my writing would not serve my writing well at all. It can be exciting being that exhibitionistic in writing. There’s a thrill, very similar to the thrill you get being sexual in public. It’s exciting to release a guarded part of yourself, very freeing.

What are you working on next?

I have a big Excel sheet with all kinds of deadlines I may or may not ever get to, but I really do hope to have a first draft of my novel written within a year. I signed up with NanoWriMo so I can get going on that. I am also contemplating a creative writing MFA, which I have been contemplating ever since I got the BA.

M. March (”Missing Michael”) is the pseudonym of a writer who has contributed to the New York Post, AfterEllen, AfterElton, Gay City News, Blacktable.com, Self, Complete Woman, Time Out New York, First-Timers and Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Nonerotica interests include watching cult movies, browsing in bookstores, drinking strong coffee and listening to obscure disco.

Below is an excerpt from “Missing Michael” by M. March. Read the whole story in Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists. Read excerpts from all 18 Peep Show stories here.

I’ve just gotten a monster erection.

It happened when Gym Boy took off his shirt. I got this terrible craving to pinch his hard, red nipples and then my dick got huge, swollen beyond belief. I was scared someone would notice it, so I went into the bathroom to take care of myself.

And now as I touch my cock, I can’t help but see Gym Boy in swimming trunks. He is kissing me and sticking a finger up my ass and covering my prick with his mouth and I am getting so hard and I am screaming and stroking myself so fast I may have a heart attack. A part of me hopes I will. I need to see Michael again.

Oh God, this feels so good. No, not just good; I am mad with pleasure. I feel like strutting around the gym–no, all of New York–with my giant cock out for every man to see and suck.

I spy a hole in the wall and think it’s the perfect size, and before I realize how ridiculous it is, I’m putting my dick in there, and thrusting my hips, and smacking my bare ass. I am not thinking about moving out of our house. I am not worrying about how to turn down that great guy my sister wants me to date; I am not wondering how I will manage to visit my husband’s grave without having yet another nervous breakdown.

All I am doing is thinking of Gym Boy.