I feel like shit most the time. I lie to my friends, when they ask me if i ever been with a girl before. I tell them that ive been with a couple of girls, but never been with one. Every girl I’m attracted to, i get stuck in the friend stage. I’ve only been with two guys, one when I was 15 n the other when i was 17. i know with the frist guy that i was gay but that word never came up. It wasn’t till my 2nd year of high school when i fell in love with a girl named Rosa(fake name, for her sake i still love her) she was smart, and athletic. She was in my same grade, but the youngest of our class. Her beauty could not be match. I was terrified to tell her that she took my breathe away every time she talked to me. For almost a whole year I knew i was gay and that i was in love with Rosa, but i dare not to speak a word of this to my family. Out of fear n shame i kept my feelings n thoughts bottle up, but my eyes always followed her. My junior year I was about to brust and i want to tell her every feeling i had for her. I knew she had Mrs. Brady 4th period and i couldn’t hold it back anymore. I asked my teacher if i could go to the restroom, and headed straight for Mrs. Brady’s classroom. “Mrs. Brady, can I borrow Rosa for a minute?” Mrs. Brady said yes with a nod. With a unsteady heart and trembling legs I walk over to Rosa n said “can u come with me for a minute, rosa?” she said sure n got up n followed me out the big fire doors. Once we got out the door she asks “Did I do somthing wrong?” and I replied in an unsteady tone ” no… u didn’t do anything wrong. I just had to tell u that I ..um.. I-I I’m sorry I’m so nervous …um..” “why are u nervous?” “Because…. I like you, Rosa.” I exclaimed. “well I like you, too” she replied back. ”no i like like you, i love you.” I explained on brink of crying. Her angelic smile flew across her beautiful mouth that i dreamed of kissing. with a sweet n nice voice she says “Sorry but i have a boyfriend.” already aware of that fact I said ” keeping it all to myself was killing me so i just wanted to tell you how i feel about u. I know my love will never be fully return but this just relieve some of the pain in my heart. That day we became closer friends n thats all. We still talk n hang out n party. She going into the airforce in a matter of months. n im goin to college. We both remember that day. um well thats all for this blog.
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