I have not been drawing much lately, so I’ve posted a favourite piece from my first blog series in 2006. This image was drawn from a photograph I found on a porn site that I thought was quite tender in spite of everything else it was surrounded by… like a little candle in the darkness, standing out from the rest with its cosy gentleness.
I wanted to put it up today to honour my friends with same-sex partners… whether they call themselves “gay”, “queer”, “homosexual”, “lesbians”, or just plain old “lovers”… it doesn’t matter. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Personally, I’m not much for labels… people are all people and deserve to be treated as fully human…
The male body image photo project I’m working on has put me in contact with straight men, gay men, and even some transgendered men… and some men who dress as women. I went to a club in the gay village a couple of weeks ago to see one of our models for the EXPOSURE project dance on stage during a contest to chose a “Miss —” of the season for the club. I went with my good friend and artistic-partner in this project, another woman, and at first, we were the only females in the whole place. We sat close to the stage and watched the place literally fill up (on a Wednesday night!) before the show started, and the actual show, put on by lovely dressed-as-women-dancing men, was alot of fun to watch.
But I must admit that there was a sideshow that was equally fascinating, and both of us couldn’t keep our eyes off of it. From the moment we walked in until the time we left almost 2 hours later, there was a couple off to the side of the stage, a ways away against a wall, that were making out. Really making out. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen two men kissing before, and the passion and the tenderness they were putting into it was quite moving to see. And they didn’t stop! We both wondered why they would do this in public, if it was a thrill for them to be seen, or if they were completely oblivious to everyone and everything around them in the noisy bar. It was quite a show. They were sitting in front of a pinkish wall that was illuminated from behind, so they were silhouetted very clearly, and although the place was packed for the show, no one ever blocked the view between us and them. Honestly, I was quite touched to watch them kiss and caress each other; it was very, very sensual (and they were both beautiful, young, shapely men). I didn’t even feel a twinge of discomfort or judgement, just interest, and emotion.
In my rather heterosexual lifetime, I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to explore another woman’s body; which was very much like meeting myself “in the flesh”. It was not an ongoing, intimate relationship, but a close friend who agreed to enter into this sacred space with me to learn more about ourselves and each other, and to honour ourselves as women…. which truly, seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do at the time, and for which I am very grateful. Perhaps allowing that line to blur for myself has made me more accepting of what other people feel or choose, or simply are… honestly, imperfect as we all are who is anyone else to judge what people choose or feel pushed to experience?
Years ago when I was separating from my husband, a friend of my was also leaving her husband, because she had met and fallen in love with a woman. I was close to her, and to him, and I watched helplessly as they struggled to make this break and adjustment as care-fully and lovingly as possible, but naturally fears were stirred up and egos were bruised in the process. From the sidelines, I was anxious to see it all blow over and for them to remain friends, for everyone to fully accept, and understand the others’ needs and position. To me, there was no apparent deception, no hiding, no lie… the truth was simply that she had fallen in love with another PERSON who touched her deeply and just happens to be female too.
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