The Ex-Factor and the Holidays, Lesbian-Style

     That first holiday after you leave that girlfriend of seven or eight years, the one you expected to spend the rest of your life with, is bittersweet. If you’re like me, you left her only after you were on the verge of killing her. And no one really wants to find out if all the prison movies about bad girls incarcerated is true. So you leave, to keep from becoming a murderer. But that doesn’t mean you won’t miss her and particularly at the holidays.

     Every couple does something good together, or you would never last out the first year. My ex-wife and I did the holidays well. For one month out of every year, we were truly the perfect couple that we longed to be the rest of the year. We wrapped gifts, hung stockings for the dogs, cat and each other. We decorated like crazy and we celebrated by eating delicious holiday food and by selecting really special gifts for each other, remembering all the sweetest little things that a lesser elf would have easily forgotten.

     This year I am with a new elf of my choosing. Thank God she also loves the holidays. We are starting new traditions. I pray that she will be the one I spend the rest of my life with, as we put up the tree and sit mesmerized in front of it together holding hands and listening to our four dogs snoring all around us. She could not be more different than my ex in most ways, but I am grateful that she shares my enthusiasm for all things Christmas.

     For me, the holidays are a wonderful time to spoil the people you love. I believe in fussing over everyone I care about. I’m not terribly religious, but I definitely believe that love drives my actions, and that’s all good. Plus, I can’t get enough of the lights and the music.

     I’m wondering what I should do for my ex-wife. Part of me gets a little misty when I remember the past eight years we spent together. I’ve thought about calling her, but don’t know what I’d say exactly. She was angry when I left. We’ve been civil, but not terribly friendly since the breakup. I guess I want her to know I love her and want her to be happy. I also want her to know that I will never forget all the wonderful holidays we spent together and how special they were. And even though we’ve moved on, we can always take comfort in the fact that we shared many wonderful holidays together.

[Via http://lesbianwink.wordpress.com]